wmr? results week ek! ;)
All precincts are reporting 😀 Yeh results of first week of What’s More Retarded? (fyi: ranked by # of responses, aur when there is a tie, then by percentage of total responses for that page <– gori knows u geeks wanted to know that na?) 😛 are as follows..
winner of the 1st round.. in #1 position with 11 votes/78.6% of total votes (for that page): Bush (re)appointing himself President/DicKtator through illegal means. He definitely (surprise!) won against Musharraf, his running mate in yeh ek week of WMR?, quite a surprise na? 😛 Yeah gori hates him bhi… did u know something like sirf 14% of peeps Bay Area mein voted for yeh racist Nazi-esque torturer/CIA pimp/oil cowboy in the last ‘election’? Then again, Musharraf doesn’t even allow a popular vote, na? He just assassinates/expels his running mates from the country (amount of consideration of their fate based on gender), then forces yeh Paki congress (kuch bhi) to vote for him.. Hmm…
#2 position for week one goes to- with 10 votes/76.9% of total votes (for that page):
Amitji’s sad mismatched hair (vs. goatee) color. Well, well, well.. gori suspected that u all don’t actually respect yeh baap ka Bollywood as much as u call pretend to na? Hmm.. that infamous desi resentment/backbiting is coming through here.. guess u all didn’t like yeh photo of Mushy running his fingers through his zebra dye-job na? You CAN tell Mushy’s hair/faux sideburns are also fake, right? 😛 Just checking!
#3 place with 9 votes 75.0% of total votes (for that page):
you guessed it, another Amrikan cheez (uh, mal) for u peeps to make fun of na? 😛 WTF is yeh ‘Michael’ Jackson transitioning via plastic surgery sh1t na? The fallen off nose.. the collagen lips.. the fact that Ebony mag can even *dare* to use the word ‘Africa’ on the same cover as yeh mal 😛 Gross! Did any of u yaar actually see ‘The Wiz’ for example? 😛 Can u even tell it’s the same (once kala, with ek nose) mal? Much less something that started out being male, supposedly? Yuck 😦 Be sure to vote on yeh semi-finals this week to rank him against the other choices on this page! -that’s something we have Amrika mein bhai sahebs, ‘choice’ lmao) 😛
Winning #4 position in the final tally with 8 votes/57.1% of total votes (for that page): Musharraf *ASS*ASS*inating Bhutto in cold blood narrowly usurped it’s own running mate- yeppers, Mushy has been telling Bush ‘Al Qaeda did it’.. re: nuking Bhutto (may she rest in peace- gori had ek diyan premonition of her death.. not that it takes much to figure out there was a very high probability of her being assassinated ASAP..) 😦 Never mind the CIA was sitting around telling Bhutto who was about to kill her (can u say sequentially numbered left-over explosives parts as evidence for ALL major bombings in Pakistan lately? Wonder who might have an arsenal like that na? Oh.. maybe, yeh government?) 😛 BTW Mushy, I think Bush *knows* that he made the whole Al Qaeda thing up yaar, plus hiring Osama to run around various parts of yeh ‘Middle East’ aka SW Asia na? Gotta try a better line next time! 😛
Tik hai sapna cliff-hanger was 5th position (which at one point was a 5-way tie).. the winner(s) are (2-way tie na?)- with 6 votes/66.7% of votes for that page (each):
tied with (do) Obama by the beach 😉 (he hecka gora na?) putting out racist memos about Hillary being the ‘Senator from Punjab’/outsourcing blah blah.. funny how this won by such a wide margin against Hillary’s racist joke about Gandhi being running a gas station.. hmms…
Remember, it’s hecka important to VOTE in this week’s semi-finals as well as WMR week 3, here! <– non pop-up version 🙂
Here are some of the losers from week ek 😛
poor gori ALL alone na? pooooorr gori… sub desi yaar read gori’s blog.. phir pobrecita gori nahin shaadi(ed) na? lol… (click this link to change this problem- not for the faint hearted lmao!)..
Ek flaw in gori’s system was revealed as both Salman running over ek Dalitji sleeping in front of yeh bakery PLUS Salman’s closetedness phir compensation by poaching/drunk driving were previously winning over yeh dead semi-endangered Chinkara (gazelle, tik?) aur yeh SRK/Karan Johar ‘linked’ couple respectively na? 🙂 however, some yaar must’ve gone back & changed their answers, since Salman now has 5 answers each on the above, previously he had 6 na? Weird, gori knows, lekin this is actually *legal*- u can keep ur WMR? voting page up & mess with the answers until the deadline, if you want. If you close yeh pop-up page with questionnaire & start again, you will register a new set of votes na? So tell ek dost! 😀
SRK + Karan Johar closeted gay couple… gori loves SRK + Karan together 😀 now just lose yeh nasty facelift bitter toxic biwi tik Shah Rukh? (gori is ek HUGE SRK fan btw if you aren’t already aware, just ek huge SRK fan West mein w/eyes wide open who’s spent her adult life hanging out in the Castro, tik hai?) 😀
Indian 80’s Thriller (notice yeh Michelle Jack-Off theme na?).. gori thinks yeh Pinay prison version is way creepier.. it should have at least tied Michael on Ebony (IGHO- in gori’s humble opinion na?).. yeh trannie? have you watched it? (here).. how truly SCARY.. no trannies gori knows Castro mein would *dare* leave ghur looking like that na? Not even ek rundi, to get felt up by inmates 😛 but I digress 😛
One of the lowest rated, and hence supposedly ‘least retarded’ (though gori really begs to differ.. any ABCDs out there? U can tell how sad this is right?) items from week one:
Aaj, yeh FINAL RESULTS SEMI-FINALS SE week one na? 🙂 are here: Tik hai.. now… for the semi-finals of our first week of the poll.. since ur mostly IT geeks (gori assumes, undoubtedly correctly lol).. we’re gonna first explain the way this works.. 6 choices na? u have to rank them (tough I know phir).. so far, everybody’s figured it out (accha jis).. so basically each answer gets points based on yeh ranking: 1st choice = 6 points, 2nd choice = 5 points, down to 6th choice, which = 1 point (confusing, I know) 😛 Basically then gori adds up the points. In case of tie (like usual na?) answer with highest ranked answers (as in, most 1st, 2nd, 3rd most retarded votes) wins na? Yey 🙂 So.. FINAL RESULTS SEMI-FINALS WEEK EK (this has become an exciting & changeable neck & neck race BTW) are as follows:
THE SEMI-FINALS WINNER FOR THIS ROUND!! with 39 points (see above for confusing tallying ‘scheme’):
Govinda as Indian (trademark infringement) Superman with Spiderladki doing hella retarded square-dancing sideways while you can easily see that they are ‘flying’ with their feet flat-footed (plus u can see the floor of the stage they were standing on, conveniently ‘floating’ through the air with them, also sideways, na?) So much for Bolly special effect lol 😛 Don’t believe gori? Then click here to watch yeh YouTube clip! flmao! 🙂
in 2nd place with 35 points we have:
Bush re-electing himself dicKtator through illegal means. Obama currently has more high-ranking (in terms of level of retardness) 😛 answers, so technically it’s ahead by a nose 😉 Hmm… politics seems to be an important theme here na? 😛 how boring! lekin abi we have…
3rd place mein with 33 points:
Musharraf *ass*ass*inating Bhutto in cold blood Yeh this is hecka retard na? Interesting how this won over the more humorous Mushy telling GW ‘Al Qaeda did it’. Tum yaaron serious peeps hai na? But seriously, this sucks 😦 More than Amrish dying from popping out his eyeballs 😦 More than alot of things. Sad for Pakistan, dhukh for everybody 😦 Just too bad it wasn’t GW na? 😛 We can all only wish 😦
So stay tuned as each week’s semi-finals winner will go to the finals, then the actual grand prize winner we be immortalized on a special T-shirt you will then be able to buy to support gori’s quest for her Mini Cooper! WOW!
Each week there will be all new content, PLUS a semi-finals match-off between the highest scoring WMRs from the week previous (can u say: shirtless Obama vs. Govinda as Superman? Musharraf’s bad dye job vs. SRK-Karan Johar as closeted sanam? I think u can!) Well, actually those are just examples cause u peeps voted in totally different stuff than gori would’ve thought- that’s the beauty of ek democracy na? 😀 😉 😀
Eventually, there will be the actual epic WMR finals, resulting in yeh What’s Most Retarded? award (which will, in turn, result in yeh commemorative WMR t-shirts you can buy if u wanna help gori get her Mini Cooper, or just for the heck of it na?) Exciting, hai na? 😀
K pyar & all that good stuff 😀
so click here! ‘What’s More Retarded?’ (WMR?)