goriji ;)

Mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar kaha hai? lol :P

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peeps! remember tumhara goriji? :P

Wow…

How diwani can cheez be around gori lately na? πŸ˜› It’s been since Gay Pride that I’ve not posted.. uh, wait a sec.. I’m talking like garam arab yaar suddenly lmao.. who is yeh ‘Garam Arab Yaar’, u ask? Notice the acronym: ‘GAY’, which Sri Metrosexual insists he is decidely (supposedly, somewhat homophobically) NOT… despite being in love with his mataji, who apparently bears some superficial resemblance to gori (hello, Freud/Oedipus complex = GAY’, na? πŸ˜‰ (j/k Soufi) πŸ˜‰

I digress… Besides quite possibly being the source- at least a close 3rd guess after the Olympics aur US Presidential candidate nomination(s)- of gori’s suddenly dropped vlog ratings.. notwithstanding near constant hacking by yeh M1M, the usual suspect.. garam Arab/Algerian yaar has been taking up bahut bandwidth, lekin ‘putting out’ πŸ˜› for gori nahin.. so we’re gonna leave that situation for a bit (especially during Ramadan, the period in which gori is apparently prohibited from doing anything meaningful/naughty with Moslem peeps of that ilk anyway, being an infidel n all (psst: <– yeh link is actually for Independence Day na?) πŸ˜› aur continue onto more desi-like subject…

So, once again, a total re-vamp of yeh oft-neglected (typically in favor of mehri Revver.com vids) blog here on WordPress is in order. I’ve given up on waiting for yeh M1M to quit hacking me (<–BTW all those links (well, most) are to revver vids, in case ur wondering na? Check out how cool- u can now watch mehri vids voh ‘snap’ preview windows mein by hovering sirf, no need to click over to the revver site -unless of course u wanna see gori choochiyan full size tik hai?- WOW na yaar?) πŸ˜‰ .. aur am just gonna forge ahead with a total update/redo, including a full organization with commentary of the entire (to date) 220+ gori revver vids (goal: 600 vids total by years’ end! whoo!!) πŸ™‚ We’re gonna see a resurrection of voh ‘What’s More Retarded?’ polls aur possibly even some gori merchandising, in order to help raise paisay for gori’s naya desi club na? πŸ˜‰ I’ve noticed bahut peeps visiting yeh Mini Cooper page, yet not donating na? 😦 Don’t worry, the M1M is unlikely to mess with u via PayPal, gori was able in the past to keep her eBay business going & receive payments that way despite yeh ulloo so… feel free to follow mehri suggestion aur donate (sirf, lol) ek dollar πŸ˜› for every time u hath ka juggernaut πŸ˜› lmao to voh gori vids or slideshows πŸ™‚ tee hee….

Gori’s Mini is about $40K sticker price (haven’t looked at prices on 2009 models yet.. can’t believe how much $$ has been wasted on rentals when I could just have a proper tricked-out custom gori gaadi na?) 😦 poor gori! aur re: yeh naya desi club, j’ai besoin de (metlab: muhje chaiye lol) $120K start-up funding (or $70K on a shoestring budget! that’s US dollars na yaar?)- certainly someone wants to help gori escape yeh M1M hacker by giving her a viable off-line way to make ek living, while creating an uber cool sub desi weekly lounge/cross-cultural (read: goris + desis, aur sub cool peeps) dating venue aur nite club spot na? πŸ˜‰ Even got an incredibly fine SF location already nailed down (shukriya mehri dost Andy, of the up & coming, soon-to-be Rancho Parnassus na?)… just waiting on u peeps to cough some $$ up.. er, feel civically minded & want to be gori’s angel investor, or something like that πŸ™‚

So is that enough Hinglish to keep u all khushi for a little bit? πŸ˜› Most recently, my vid uploading has gotten quite behind as yeh M1M hacker bakarchod is messing with my audio drivers- I did have audio yeh laptop mein for a couple of days, now the driver itself has apparently been removed (samjhe: WTF? look here if you care about this type of BS lol).. aur I’m sure that in a few days it will magickally ‘re-appear’, just like most of the other hacks yeh sala harasses gori with continually. Interesting aur such kahani: met with yeh retired Fed agent the other day (please, don’t ask lmao).. yeh yaar first person hai to not be surprised or even the least bit incredulous when gori made her best attempt at describing what yeh M1M stalker has been doing (mind you, this includes spying on gori via seemingly turned-off cell phones aur all other manner of truly bizarre cheez). In fact, yeh yaar (without batting an eyelash) simply said, ‘Nothing you’ve said so far surprises me.. it’s just typical surveillance techniques.’ *sigh* Now if a KGB operative (or goonda of any ilk, kuch bhi) would just drop the polonium in bakarchod’s teapot or something… (gori suddenly snaps out of fantasy mode lol)…

So finally, do stay tuned. Hacks or no, we’re gonna revamp yeh blog & get on with the garam masti na? πŸ™‚ Aur don’t forget, whether gori posts in craigslist rants & rants or nahin, I’m still cafe mein sub Fridays downtown San Francisco mein, from 4:30-6pm, until further notice, lurkin’ u yaars (sub long-lost via the hacker dostay such as Daison bhai, D shaadied yaar πŸ˜› aur guruji (ahem) also feel free to materialize there) πŸ˜‰ Pyar jis! πŸ˜€

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naya Sri LKS questionnaire na? :)

Good afternoon peeps..

Well, the blog has been slightly neglected of late, due to some earlier M1M hacking issues, my own financial dilemnas, aur of course, the fact that most of mehri energy is going into revver vids these days πŸ˜‰

So now we have something sort of exciting, to break the monotony… yeh naya ‘Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar?’ questionnaire! yey πŸ™‚

There’s sirf (approx) dus questions this time.. be sure to take the *naya* (new) version, but ONLY if u are willing to give gori a phone number aur ek link to an online pic of urself (from Facebook or wherever) πŸ˜‰ If u just want to amuse urself & are not serious about dating ur sexy garam gori πŸ˜‰ then u can take the super-long old version of the questionnaire, further down on the same page na? πŸ˜‰

Oh yeah, don’t forget to check out the naya 4-part video, that’s all about the kub/kya/kyon/kaisay/kuch bhi of dating gori na? πŸ˜€ In case u were wondering…

Of course, if u don’t wanna give gori ur phone (though it’s via a secure server, so that should help with yeh M1M na?) u can make me hecka khushi by come to mehri cafe lurks.. metlab, meets, & say ‘hi’ tik hai? πŸ˜€ yey…

If u got here from my Craigslist post (the W4M one, I mean.. the hacker has messed with gori so that I can post the same post multiple times, yet it doesn’t appear in the Craigslist search, despite being ‘live’ with a URL.. he then ‘flags’ my posts that no one can actually see, repeatedly.. <– even this post about how you can see my posts doesn’t show in the search! (Click the links in those lines to see various ‘flagged’ & hopefully a couple of live posts, lol) Go to SF craigslist personals & search for ‘gori’- u’ll just see my ex pretending to be various RnR hecklers & some other random cheez.. none of these posts are there na?

Can’t wait til he’s in jail, but I digress…. u might want to mosey on over to my account at revver.com, where I’m also goriji na? πŸ˜‰ That way u can see/hear gori’s diwaniness virtually, via mehri vids especially directed at this dating gori cheez, before deciding to aao to the cafe & bring me my fave phool(on? iyan? ay? kuch bhi): tulips (especially white or lavendar ones), daffodils, larkspur/delphinium, aur sunflowers na? πŸ˜€ yey… well u never know na? Sri LKS (aur possibly Crorepati) might just show up with some πŸ˜‰

K peeps, as soon as gori can say ‘financial problems = over’ πŸ˜€ we’ll be seeing some proper updating of sub blog pages.. til then, keep an eye on Revver, where I’m at approx 140 vids & counting! yey! πŸ™‚

Pyar jis! Aur jaldi karo na? I need to be getting to that garam kam cheez aaj πŸ˜‰ Sitting around here typing is boring πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

Happy Leap Day! Wanna marry gori? :)

Arei.. it’s an old Euro tradition (Scottish, apparently, gori has ek Scottish great-grandfather btw na?) πŸ˜‰ that ek ladki can propose voh ladkay to marry her on Leap Day (notice how Feb 29th comes sirf once char years mein na?) Well.. gori is in the middle of a bunch of diwani drama at the moment, as well as having a nasty case of eye strain (still, continually lol) so… you’ll find not much is updated on the blog at the moment (working on more vids, including the making of the Vday slideshow Revver vids, next) lekin… just a public invitation a little in advance..

Gori has decided she is going to shaadi some yummy desi ladka abi πŸ˜€ As in , aaj lol πŸ˜› Next cheez is to re-write mehri Sri LKS questionnaire <– (link is purani version na?) in order to do this. Economic circumstances notwithstanding, there are more than a few reasons why I’ve decided to put myself on the auction block (lol, hopefully not literally) so to speak. Maybe I’ll even make a separate questionnaire for those dhukh, bara uncle crorepatis (usually goray/married desis, statistically speaking) who want to pay gori’s $4-5K/mo (ha, that’s while living as ek *renter* na? sigh) expenses San Francisco mein tik? lmao.. doubt if any of those bara uncles are that rich/generous lol! Phir seriously, I have decided since being abandoned by another desi would-be BF around Vday that I want to marry ASAP. Finding ek desi (well, pardesi na? we’re not talking Kumar-esque ACBDs here lol) who is able to withstand family to do so is, not surprisingly, seemingly impossible. Lekin LTR with voh desi yaar doesn’t seem to materialize, given the issues of utter lack of backbone/truth-telling among ur culture, unowatimsayin’? πŸ˜‰ Sometimes yes, sometimes nahin. Gori is tired of this cycle 😦 Poor gori na?

So.. in short: sub yummy Sri Lumba Kala Sundars (aur possibly Crorepatis)- ‘Will you marry me?’ πŸ˜€

Be sure to check the photos page (aur of course, read at least a little of the (at present, somewhat out dated) blog so u know what ur getting into exactly lmao) before attempting to reply lol. Best way to do so is to weather the uber-lengthy (but humorous! promise!) Are u Sri LKS? quiz. Pyar mehray jaan πŸ˜€ Mehndi lagakay reckhna… dholi sujakay rekhna… leynay tuhje o gori… ayengay tehre sujhna πŸ™‚ tee hee.. we’ll see! πŸ˜€ Happy Leap Day, so mote it be πŸ˜€ <– ek diyan expression na? Notice how those char cheez rhyme ha ji? See I told u u’d better read the disclaimer (aka the blog itself) first tik? πŸ˜€

Khushi 2008! Uh.. zzz….

Bas. Sri Lumba Kala Sundar kaha hai? na? sigh.. gori is getting sick of having to say that over & over & over…

So be sure (if u think u might be Sri LKS ki gori na?) to take yeh quiz (a direct link!) before Jan 31st.. since gori is having a difficult time keeping her posts on Craigslist (shukriya MIM, once again, sigh) aur well.. gori is bahut impatient na? (this is gori’s usual personality- when she wants something, she gets it, nahin ‘wait wait wait’.. phir like ill-fated Nike logo: ‘just do it’ na?) πŸ™‚ So unless lots of u use yeh quiz, gori will quit paying for yeh service providing nice SECURE server for quiz πŸ˜€ <– (smiling at difficulty MIM has (so far) pwning it) end of month mein na? tik πŸ˜›

Anyhow, so please check out yeh gori dating Sri LKS quiz/questionnaire abi na? Good for ek laugh (at urself/other desis na? lol, if nothing else πŸ˜‰

Meantime, gori’s seen a bunch of you (stats se) hunting around, still looking for those elusive (aur bahut sexy na?) gori secret Santa photos.. well, they aren’t so secret now, they’re on yeh gori photos page.. except (sorry) they are now PG-13 rated πŸ˜› The trade-off for having no password required lol πŸ˜› Plus, gori doesn’t want Sri LKS to think she’s ek p0rn star or something na? πŸ˜‰ So you’ll have to content urselves with that..

There’s lots of reorganizing/improvements to existing pages (ha, samjhe Sri LKS sightings page hasn’t been updated since before Diwali na? sorry lol.. too many yummy desis, too little time lols..) but it’s gonna have to wait a little longer as gori is recovering from ek massive case of eye strain after evil, oft-referred to (aur nahin nearly so profitable as hoped) 2007 Xmas online retail nitemare na? sigh… Meantime, here is ek gori story tik?

I wasn’t gonna say this, much less blog front page mein because well, it’s sort of long (going to truncate) plus it really goes on the Sri LKS questionnaire page, lekin yeh page bahut long bhi hai lol :p so… to put it as briefly as possible- gori psychic hai na? (really! diyan hoon bhi, but that’s beside the point) πŸ˜› ..well, gori unfortunately attracts many unwanted gora admirers when posting on CL, especially when she posts photo(s), which is necessary, else desis constantly assume gori desi ladki hai, aur don’t believe gori Amrikan goron hai na? So.. sort of caught with a problem there…

Anyhow, in short, yeh nice gora was talking to gori as result of yeh CL (craigslist tik?) post.. gori is suddenly getting bahut bahut ‘psychic impressions’ tik? So she tells yeh gora yaar what she is seeing (about his love life… pyar zindagi? lmao.. is there a way to say that? stupid question na, since desis aren’t traditionally allowed to have one πŸ˜› so probably no equivalent expression lmao… j/k! um well maybe not lol..) πŸ˜‰ Story (gori tries desperately to stay on subject = very difficult thing for gori to do na?)… story: gori’s vision for yeh yaar, gori suddenly understood, was also showing gori aspects of her own Sri LKS search she didn’t see before. Abi, after undoubtedly scaring off ‘yeh peacock’ (gori’s new naam for (gay?) Southie yaar gori chased up Market St then loudly explained in detail about encounter on Sri LKS sightings page), gori wants to keep her 2 subsequent, nearly equally meaningful recent ‘potentially really Sri LKS’ sightings to herself, or at least I’m gonna slip them into the new version of yeh Sri LKS sightings page in a way that is more subtle, hai na? Anyhow, I told u this story would get long tik..

Without further ado… gori understood from yeh vision for yeh gora (who confirmed he knows who yeh blondie ladki gori’s vision mein hai, plus he is eager to get involved with her etc.. so vision is apparently correct na? πŸ˜› not that I’m gonna tell u what his vision was actually about na? client confidentiality n all that phir just to say: chup ke doubters, tik? :P) Anyhow.. if gori applies same idea yeh gora’s vision se to herself, basically it means the following:

Sri LKS must already know about gori (blog se or CL se or ??). Sri LKS is (metaphorically na? don’t be desi & take yeh cheez bahut literally na? symbolism hai!) standing ‘right behind’ gori, about to tap her shoulder mein na? (SYMBOLICALLY sirf na? Cause if gori really knew him (or he was really right behind gori), she’d turn around aur kiss him abi na? doi!) LEKIN.. something is holding him back na? Well, if gori’s vision for yeh gora yaar is any indicator (remember: gori worked for yrs as *professional* psychic hai na? in case u think I’m making this up lol).. anyhow, using yeh vision ka gora (um.. kuch bhi).. as an indicator, this would mean that suchna Sri LKS is possibly already involved (yeh gori vision for gora yaar se, gora would-be gori GF has ek ulloo ex-sanam hanging around, for example) anyhow, suchna Sri LKS might be currently involved with someone he is wanting to get rid of (or has recently gotten rid of- divorce kutti desi princess se or yucky ulloo other gori sanam break-up or ??).. anyhow, & this is supposedly part of what is slowing Sri LKS down/holding him back. Well this is nice revelation for gori, aur if yeh actual Sri LKS ever reads gori’s blog, she hopes that he will read yeh questionnaire page, especially the section where gori is talking about being bored, looking for stability aur gori ‘player’ hai nahin (gori player for keeps sirf na? lol)… cause that was all stuff he needed to know, vision se, bhi πŸ˜‰

Aaj, here is some more stuff.. Abi DON’T TAKE THIS TOO LITERALLY! If u don’t drive ek kala Mercedes Kompressor, it doesn’t mean ur not Sri LKS tik? πŸ˜‰ lol.. gori gets ‘impressions’ of stuff ALL the time.. much is symbolic, or sometimes downright incorrect. I may have said some/all of this elsewhere here (with eye strain lingering sort of hard to go back through yeh entire blog maghur).. here are some notes to potentially help (if this sounds like u, u’d better check out yeh questionnaire na? BTW be *sure* to fill out the whole cheez tik? Ha, it’s really long (on purpose).. plus, if u don’t give gori contact info there, u ain’t gonna be able to contact her otherwise, shukriya again M1M hack3r ulloo ugg.. (in case yeh sexy-sounding Fiji desi ‘Avulsion’ sees this, ur a great example of wasting both of our time- yeh hottie filled out whole questionnaire *except* put fake contact info.. this is useless na? U could have had ek garam GF by now ulloo! gori would still like to talk to u btw ‘avulsion’ ugg.. sigh).. back to subject:

do NOT take literally, these are just gori psychic impressions of cheez that MIGHT be descriptive of LKS na?

ek) Mercedes .. gori is really really sick of being followed around by these things.. metlab, every yuppie San Francisco mein has one (hell, gori’s parents drove them when she was in high school.. gori would make fun of gaadi ka baap 190e with automatic transmission.. gori is definitely stick shift πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ sort of ladki..tee hee hee.. ha I DO mean it like that lols) anyhow, gori can’t stop to explain yeh ongoing symbolism of all of this here (waay too long) but judging by appearance, let’s say if LKS drove yeh Merc, it would be yeh Kompressor that he must trade in every few yrs (u desis probably pyar leasing cars na? just like baap ka gori), cause gori thinks (judging by the insane number of yeh gari/gaadi/kuch bhi) following her around, that he would have had yeh lal (red), yeh chandra (silver) aur abi, yeh kala (black) Merc convertible or ‘Kompressor’-style model (each color in turn) over the last several years.

Other symbols:

d0)as I said, he may be divorced..

teen) he may have yeh beti (daughter, I’m subtitling some stuff English mein since he’s probably Southie & maybe therefore really can’t follow mehri Hindi na?) or else some other (tall for her age, thin) young girl (niece, much younger bahinji (sister), etc..) who’s important to him/he is close to, like family relation na?

char) plus of course he is Sri Lumba/Kala/Sundar (Mr Tall Dark Handsome na? lol) with long hair (or else it would look this way if he grew it out) that has waves/wigglyness (like flat back & forth curls), that he wears in ek ponytail…

che) btw gori had 2 sapnay about Sri LKS in recent months where he was wearing wire-rimmed gold glasses (like the smallish rectangular trendy ones)- never seen that detail otherwise. Interesting do dreams mein, sapna ek: Sri LKS was bahut tall aur bahut thin, like gori imagines, sapna do: Sri LKS was mota (stocky/chunky build) aur probably tall too, but riding a bike (??) Maybe these details ring a bell with someone? Maybe it means the person was heavier at one point & lost weight (by bicycling? -gori likes yeh mota ladkay BTW, since gori curvyji hai herself- especially if u can cook accha Hindustani khanna.. oops wrong word.. paan? kuch bhi: ‘food’) πŸ™‚ phir in gori’s visions, he is always bahut bahut tall, aur bahut thin (though this isn’t really gori’s personal preference, u will probably get teased by gori for being too thin- like mataji se na? until u eat more.. off subject again lol)…

panch) anyhow, more significantly, gori thinks yeh yaar is possibly from yeh bahut rich family, dad crorepati hai (some type of big business yaar) aur Sri LKS is in charge of family business- at least some part of it. He now travels bahut for business, gori is sure of that (or he has in recent years).. despite the fact that this just sounds like some Bolly SRK filim character, gori has been told this by at least 3 other psychics.. weird na? πŸ˜› ‘Crorepati’ to gori is IT ‘professional’ lol, she is not that picky πŸ˜›

sat) he may have grown up out of India (like Europe? ACBD nahin, definitely pardesi or multi-national person or something to this effect).. aur gori thinks he travels to SF sirf, doesn’t live here full-time (yet- just wait til he meets gori lol) πŸ˜› Maybe he even stays at yeh nasty Four Seasons ‘residences’ Market St mein (next to oft-mentioned gori desi-watching cafe) bad feng shui ko/ka/ki (when will someone teach gori postpositions properly?) like gori’s psychic dost says.. who knows? πŸ˜›

at) sometimes gori is sure he has silver streaks baal mein (in his hair) on the sides na? Don’t forget he’s bahut kala πŸ™‚ mmm… hella dark aur yummy πŸ˜€

Well, whoever u are, u’d better step forward. After gori got yeh diwani impressions for yeh CL gora she had talked to by email one day sirf, aur it seemed fairly accurate, then.. well, it just started bugging gori to think how long this is taking, lekin yeh ulloo is right here apparently na? Gori even thought one day (before vision for gora na?) that she saw him over her left shoulder, lekin when she turned, it was some totally different person passing by)- like ek ghost na? 😦

Like gori’s gay dostay say: ‘Come out, come out, wherever u are na?’ Tik I added the ‘na’ lmao πŸ˜›

no) almost forgot.. if tarot cards ka gori r any indication, probably yeh Sri LKS is having a bunch of ‘issues’ life mein abi (‘in his life right now’.. k Tamil/Teluguji yaar?) πŸ˜‰ that r slowing him down phir bhi.. gori is B-O-R-E-D.. aur needs someone to keep her bed warm tik? πŸ˜€ Abi! Nahin Spring hai- aaj! lol πŸ˜›

so das) take yeh questionnaire, even if ur not him, u’ll help gori deal with yeh boring, tedious wait.. which is what this January seems to be about so far. I have faith in mehri tarot cards na? Something accha had better be on the way for gori.. seems like it at least.. also yeh Chinese year (rat na? yucky phir..) starting ek month mein is bahut bahut lucky romance year for gori tik? πŸ˜€

Supposedly if ur day star (nahin year, that’s the one most ppl know at least) is wood element Chinese astrology mein, u will also (for males) have ek great romance yr na? Gori is pig πŸ˜€ (bahut accha Chinese astrology mein) day star with water element πŸ™‚ Also gori 9 fire hai, so I always thought ek 4 wood would be good for me.. since I also have water.. ladka’s wood nurtures gori’s fire (hopefully via unlimited Visa card na? tee hee j/k- fire = gori’s $$ star, just a little jokey joke na?) phir also gori’s water nutures ladka’s wood (lmao.. that part sounds pretty funny if u really think about it, but since this is a ‘family’ (at least English mein lmao) blog, we’ll leave it at that! πŸ™‚

Tik hai.. gori’s still bored… bhi phir waiting! Jaldi karo Sri LKS! Chel chel chel chel chel chel chel chel!!! πŸ˜› Chalo! sigh…