goriji ;)

Mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar kaha hai? lol :P

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tweeps! :) sup?

K in case u haven’t noticed the column to the right lol –> I’m going crazy on twitter my peeps 🙂 In the time I’ve neglected yeh blog (since early July 2009), ur gori’s tweeted about 1700 or more tweets & counting na? 😉 lol if u wanna add me on Twitter, I’m @gorisf na? 😉

Basically I’m focusing on a few areas: desi cheez (of course, including Bolly & SRK filim stuff), the hypocrisy of fundamentalist Muslim (oops I almost starting putting hashtags lol) attitudes, aur tweets about my vids (revver.com, voh lame site now owned by some goonda who’s letting it fall apart literally+ not paying anyone boo)- they r gonna be re-loaded onto a functional site ASAP (all 350+ of them & counting na?)..

..plus I tweet bout meri *NAYA FILM* whoo 😉 Working title ‘Soufi & Me’ hai na? 😉 aka ‘Soufi et Moi’ lol ‘सूफी और मैं’ ‘الصوفي & لي’ etc lol! 🙂 So there *is* a 2-part vid about my casting needs 😉 for this no-budget narrative feature film (to get technical on u there for a minute)- aka u could be famous & not have to really have acting skills to do so but… haven’t posted the vid(s) yet as I’m in the middle of finding a new video hosting site for reasons listed above.

Also, didn’t forget about the (hopefully humorous) acchi desi cheez gori clothing & accessories line (srsly! 2 use twit-speak).. it’s just that.. yeppers, I’m about to get evicted from my ghur (cry!), rent hasn’t been paid since the last blog post, u can see that’s quite a long time. Plus I’m being stalked by such SF goonday na? (Real don peeps eek!)- which is what yeh filim is actually about, besides being a love story 😉

So if u pray 2 any goddesses or gods of any sort, say a prayer 4 gori aaj, tik hai? The donate 2 gori’s Mini Cooper fund link in the archive should still (hopefully lol) work, in case anyone wants 2 donate the extreme amounts of $$$ needed for me 2 stave off imminently becoming homeless 😦 *sigh* Or of course, you can donate towards the film, which ideally has a ‘low low budget’ of $500K (basically a budget to keep me housed while writing the script, feed the crew while filming & pay 2 rent a camera/print the film, with little left for anything else 😉 In any case, I’m doing the dang film, even if I’m living marg mein instead of ghur mein 😦 which is exactly what local thuggees would like to see happen 😦

Oh if I didn’t say, it’s about gori kam trafficking bhi na? So if u wanna be a funder (or just lend gori her back rent $$)- catch me on twitter peeps & I’ll be bahut khushi 2 take any donations lol-or just say ‘hi’! 🙂 Pyar jis & watch yeh space 4 more details on filim production & lol fundraising attempts!

BTW if ur bored (besides talking 2 me ‘live’ on twitter, u know u wanna, especially the more Tamilian-esque masti Sri Lumba Kala Sundars out there na?) u can check out my very own #Hashtag on twitter: #LHTE, which stands for ‘Learn Hindi Through English’ lmao. Because everyone knows that crappy Hindi book, my theory being that ‘Hinglish’ goes both ways: it’s not just some gora being unable to speak Hindi (or other Indian languages) but also desi peeps being unable 2 properly speak Angrezi na? So enjoy! All typos are directly copied from the book itself lmao!

Will bb soon jis, in the meantime, just read the next column & u got more details than I’m sure u ever wanted lol –> 😉


aur abi, thodi poll gori se na? ;)

Peeps… Well gori’s actually really truly updating/re-doing cheez here this time…

Depending on the level/frequency of hacking (& how busy I get at the SF International Filim Fest na?) this could take anywhere from days.. to months lol 😛 Anyhow, in the meantime, please check out yeh choti gori poll ..u can fill in other suggestions at the bottom- make sure they are friendly ones, since I’m sure u don’t want to experience gorigiri na? (aka: buri nizer!) 😛 lols… BB laters! 😀

Merry Xmas jis! Happy SRK na? :)

Tik er… Merry Xmas aur khushi (not really) bday to gori na? I noticed lotsa peeps checking out the moti gori Santa vid from last year na? That is, once I finally got online aaj, after being hacked for 3 days 😦 (psst the super-secret pword is the last name of the PM 😉 -be sure to capitalize the first letter na?) The link is above (yeh ‘sexy secret gori Santa page’ na?) now that gori changed the blog to yeh cozy winter theme.. bahut bariya choochiyan to be found there tik? Lekin be sure to read below once ur done 😉 BTW snowflakes courtesy of WordPress.. they melt after Jan 4th, apparently… so meantime gori’s Xmas = sux hard 😦 no pun intended lol.. It’s mehri bday today (Xmas day) na? & well, u know if I have time to blog, that cheez isn’t that great na? 😦

Still, to cheer things a little, here are the SRK interviews I refer to in yeh video (see below for highly pertinent SRK Islam quotes as accurately, painstakingly transcribed by gori)- SRK ended up being the ideal ‘moderate Muslim’ I was lamenting about in mehri Bombay blasts videos & has encapsulated very articulately basically all of the important points I was thinking/feeling about the situation, lekin of course it means much more coming from SRK than gori lol…Some bahut cozy/accha person posted SRK’s interview on YouTube in teen parts, here:

I dedicate these videos to Mohammed Bedda, bhai ka garam Arab yaar Soufiane… ‘Momo’ is ek bara SRK fan bhi (remember? yeh yaar who yelled at gori public mein for like an hour about how Sharia law should be imposed San Francisco mein so gori could be killed for choding gAy- garam Arab yaar, ussa bhai na?) Is that how you use the word ‘ussa’ ‘usne’? kuch bhi.. lol 😛 Much of what SRK says applies directly to the hypocritical/lame-gaand situation with bhai ka garam Arab yaar.. since SRK is also important to him, I’ll let Shah Rukh make a very pertinent rebuttal to yeh Mohammed bhai, since his words will get much more respect, being a Muslim male n all.. everything below is both very apt in terms of the Mumbai terrorism blasts of last month, as well as being a direct answer to the utter BS you spout about your own religion, Mohammed, vis a vis earlier arguments we had. I hope you see this & at least give Shah Rukh a little respect for saying everything gori has tried to say to you, while I’m apparently ek rundi/kam-slave sirf.. (check the bottom of this post for more on the sucha kam goonday situation.. sigh)

Some wonderfully specific quotes from gori’s transcript of voh teen Shah Rukh videos (some clarification added in italics for any non-desi peeps who may read this- or clueless 2nd gen’ers lol):

SRK: ‘I like to believe I’m an educated, liberal Muslim, who has a Hindu wife and two kids.. the more I’m seeing these kind of things over the years, the more it makes me realize… the vulnerability of life, of course, which we all understand… I think it unites us, tragedy has a strange sense of uniting people.. I get very scared now.. and it could happen to anyone. You know, the whole reality is… it’s not bound by areas, or castes, or creeds, or colors.. it could happen to anyone.’
‘If you can take away any positive from this tragedy, and have some kind of peace in your heart, to be able to look at that- I think the very thing that the terrorists tried to destroy, which is unity, secularism, the economy, and.. just the dignity of the country, I think for the first time we have all come to realize that very thing is actually got (has been) strengthened. The unity has got (sic) strengthened… and I cannot say I’m glad, but I can 100% say, that if you can take away anything positive, that is the biggest positive. They have now given us the biggest weapon against them, and we need to utilize it in the best way possible.. which is unity, across classes, across religions..’
‘You know- can I clarify- I’ve read the Qu’ran, the Holy Qu’ran, and I’m a believer of Islam, because that’s how I am born.. I’ll give you a few verses of Qu’ran, which you need to understand… there is ‘Sura pulse suray moida’ which is a verse from Qu’ran, which very clearly states that if you heal one man, you heal the whole mankind- this is what God says- and if you hurt one man, you hurt the whole mankind. There is *no where* in Qu’ran- see, we believe, Qu’ran is the word of Allah- so there are believers in that book, in that holy book, and I’m very clear if you’re following Allah’s Qu’ran, if you’re following Allah’s Islam, *no where* does it say that you are going to get jennat (salvation, go to heaven) by jihad (holy war aka ‘terrorism’), *no where* does it say that you can kill women- as a matter of fact it says *in a war*, you cannot kill a woman, you cannot kill a child, you cannot kill an animal, and you cannot destroy crops. Very clear: jihad was supposed to be something that was to be propagated by the Prophet himself.’
‘There is an Islam from Allah which is in our holy book, there is an Islam- and very unfortunate, I’m not being ‘auntie’- but there is an Islam from the mullahs. And I appeal to all of them: *please* give the right reading of the Qu’ran to the young people- I do it to (this for) my children- no where in the Qu’ran, which we consider is the word of Allah- does it say that you are going to be given jennat if you kill harmless, innocent people, *no where*.’
(Rajdeep Sardesai from CNN IBN): ‘So they’re distorting religion..’
SRK: ‘Absolutely, see, this has happened for the last 100 years at most, or 120 years Raj, it’s not something (from) a thousand five-hundred years ago.. See I’ll explain it to you- jihad was actually to be called upon by the Prophet himself. And jihad also has a very simple logic- if you go by what is written- that there is debates.(sic) There has to be understanding- either you convince me of your viewpoint or I convince you of mine. And then also if we don’t understand (agree), we’ll go our separate ways. *No way* does jihad say- very very clearly, let me be very honest about it, I’ve read it now, I’ve read it many times over the last 2-3 years- it doesn’t say that you can go into *anybody else’s* territory, you know jihad says that if somebody comes into *your* territory, then you can protect yourself.’
(Rajdeep): ‘..does it then really trouble you.. “Not every Muslim is a terrorist, but all terrorists are Muslim”- these are the kinds of SMSes that have done the rounds at times in.. upper middle class societies..’
SRK: ‘See, I cannot deny it anymore, you know two years’ back, I used to get very disturbed when the Americans said that all the terrorists are Muslim, I would say ‘no that’s not true’. But now I can’t deny it, because 95, 99% of the people who get caught, or who are shot, are claimed to be Muslims…’
‘I think both hardliners- Hindus & Muslims- I think there should be a law in this country: that *no* political party’s agenda can be communal (based on religious separatism). And be it the biggest party, be it the smallest party- *no* organization which is going to mis-read any of the books, whether it is Qu’ran or (Bhagavad) Gita, should be allowed. There should be a hard-line treatment to the hardliners, one. Secondly, I also like to believe at this point of time, that some of us are born Muslim, so some of these guys who got completely mislead- or women also- they are by birth Muslim, but I don’t think that by teaching (they are), Muslim. They’ve been just born that way. The teachings of Islam are as wonderful, as good, as the teaching of Gita. Or of the Bible- they’re all the same. And I think the youngsters (younger generation) understand this much better today, and that’s why I have huge hope in them.’
(on initial emotional reactions of the people of India saying ‘bomb Pakistan’)
SRK: ‘..but I have a huge amount of faith in the goodness of Indians…I think they will understand.. see what I’m sensing- I’m not saying dishonesty- but what I’m sensing is that everybody’s trying to protect (themselves)… ‘Ok let’s not say it happened in Pakistan’ (that the terrorists originated there).. and you can’t completely deny it.. they’re living in denial, and of course, some of us also reacting and saying ‘let’s just bomb Pakistan’- no. I think like I said, the first tenet of jihad, if I was to tell you just as a Muslim, is debate. Let’s sit down, and *accept* the truth. See accepting the truth actually makes the problem vanish. Let’s accept the truth: uh-oh, these guys are being trained there- we’re not claiming the government is doing it, but we’re saying they’re being trained- can the government (of Pakistan) *do* something about it? Yes we can-let’s take outside help, let’s come, and try and finish them off in the best way possible.’
(Rajdeep): ‘Shah Rukh, would you be willing to debate with a fanatic?…be it a Muslim or Hindu fanatic? Are you willing to have that debate?’
SRK: ‘Can I just tell you one thing? I think fanatics have no ground to stand on. It’s very easy to debate with a fanatic. Because I think they’re misinformed.. Any normal, educated, well brought-up Indian or Pakistani can debate with a fanatic from either side, and win the debate very clearly… because I’m again & again saying, if you’re following Allah’s word, if you’re following even Gita’s word, if you’re following the Biblical word, there is *no* tenet anywhere which states this.’
‘See, you & I don’t know what Heaven is going to be like. You & I genuinely don’t know what God is going to be like. But I can assure you of one thing that you & I both know very clearly: that by hurting someone who is innocent, there is *no* way, *no* God in this world is going to be good to you and take you to Heaven.’
‘I see an amazing amount of hope, and I attach it again and again to the youth… here are people who *can* do it, and *will* do it… we have to see it within ourselves, we do respect Gandhiji’s tenets… that yes, do not offer the other cheek. If a guy slaps you, and he says very clearly ‘I’m sorry’, it’s ok, accept it… I’m not saying ‘bomb XYZ’, but you need to take a little hard stance, because they have come to our house. You know, you can’t allow people to come to our houses, and destroy our families, you just cannot, you cannot allow that… There is zero tolerance for terror, and a lack of security, and I think we need to put up organizations in place, and say ‘listen, we will not tolerate this’. And right now I can sense that in the country.’
‘I can’t say we are fortunate, but I think we’re in the middle of an amazing historical event which is only going to make our country very very strong.. I can’t say I’m happy, but I’m at peace, that I’m part of this movement…’

Now that u’ve waded thru all that, be sure to check the latest bahut dhukh series on gAy aur bhai ka gAy aur their scary evil team of naisay gunday na? In case u were wondering how mehri Xmas was ruined (poor gori!) aur how cheez got to this sorry state of affairs 😦

(BTW jis.. as u can probably tell, gori’s having some choti formatting issues abi lol 😛 ..phir bhi u can still hover over the vids to watch thumbnails, or click to see the real cheez revver.com site mein na??) accha! 🙂

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt ek)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt do)

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt teen)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt char)

Mehri Chinese astrology isn’t looking good for 2009- gori is ek Ram (aka Sheep) with Pig/Boar influence in Bazi. Which essentially means this year may suck hard 😦 Oh noes!

Oh course u, the dedicated desi yaar hath ka.. er, reader aur goriji video viewer, will want to *give back* a tiny portion of that IT salary na? 😉 This time it’s not for a Mini Cooper lekin good old fashioned Amrikan merchandise, which can be had (coming soon!) goriji’s cafepress store mein 😉 <– link will be here as soon as it’s up & running! 🙂

So u can now have every sexy diwani kuch bhi cheez available, with ek gori logo na? Dog t-shirt? No problem.. baby t-shirt? got it.. maternity T-shirt.. even those.. how about gori bumperstickers, pins aur mugs? lol 😛 U know biwi’s not gonna be suspecting what ur doing on revver ka gori vids during lunch na? 😉 Who cares? U can always keep the thong.. er boxer shorts.. er metlab coffee mug at the office right? 😀

Meantime, did ya know that gori’s posted 300 vids & counting in 10+ madham sirf na? In case u were wondering why the blog’s sorta fallen behind lols… here’s the link to sub gori vids, with most recent showing first *or* u can click this link to scroll through the bar on the left to see them organized by playlist subject, so now u know!)

Tik back to mehri regularly scheduled moping, at least until New Yaar’s 😉 Mehri gori diyan cards say there’s some naya pyar cheez 4 gori ASAP.. let’s hope it’s mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar crorepati, I sure need it, considering gori’s economic situation! 😦

naya Sri LKS questionnaire na? :)

Good afternoon peeps..

Well, the blog has been slightly neglected of late, due to some earlier M1M hacking issues, my own financial dilemnas, aur of course, the fact that most of mehri energy is going into revver vids these days 😉

So now we have something sort of exciting, to break the monotony… yeh naya ‘Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar?’ questionnaire! yey 🙂

There’s sirf (approx) dus questions this time.. be sure to take the *naya* (new) version, but ONLY if u are willing to give gori a phone number aur ek link to an online pic of urself (from Facebook or wherever) 😉 If u just want to amuse urself & are not serious about dating ur sexy garam gori 😉 then u can take the super-long old version of the questionnaire, further down on the same page na? 😉

Oh yeah, don’t forget to check out the naya 4-part video, that’s all about the kub/kya/kyon/kaisay/kuch bhi of dating gori na? 😀 In case u were wondering…

Of course, if u don’t wanna give gori ur phone (though it’s via a secure server, so that should help with yeh M1M na?) u can make me hecka khushi by come to mehri cafe lurks.. metlab, meets, & say ‘hi’ tik hai? 😀 yey…

If u got here from my Craigslist post (the W4M one, I mean.. the hacker has messed with gori so that I can post the same post multiple times, yet it doesn’t appear in the Craigslist search, despite being ‘live’ with a URL.. he then ‘flags’ my posts that no one can actually see, repeatedly.. <– even this post about how you can see my posts doesn’t show in the search! (Click the links in those lines to see various ‘flagged’ & hopefully a couple of live posts, lol) Go to SF craigslist personals & search for ‘gori’- u’ll just see my ex pretending to be various RnR hecklers & some other random cheez.. none of these posts are there na?

Can’t wait til he’s in jail, but I digress…. u might want to mosey on over to my account at revver.com, where I’m also goriji na? 😉 That way u can see/hear gori’s diwaniness virtually, via mehri vids especially directed at this dating gori cheez, before deciding to aao to the cafe & bring me my fave phool(on? iyan? ay? kuch bhi): tulips (especially white or lavendar ones), daffodils, larkspur/delphinium, aur sunflowers na? 😀 yey… well u never know na? Sri LKS (aur possibly Crorepati) might just show up with some 😉

K peeps, as soon as gori can say ‘financial problems = over’ 😀 we’ll be seeing some proper updating of sub blog pages.. til then, keep an eye on Revver, where I’m at approx 140 vids & counting! yey! 🙂

Pyar jis! Aur jaldi karo na? I need to be getting to that garam kam cheez aaj 😉 Sitting around here typing is boring 😛 😉 😀

Happy Leap Day! Wanna marry gori? :)

Arei.. it’s an old Euro tradition (Scottish, apparently, gori has ek Scottish great-grandfather btw na?) 😉 that ek ladki can propose voh ladkay to marry her on Leap Day (notice how Feb 29th comes sirf once char years mein na?) Well.. gori is in the middle of a bunch of diwani drama at the moment, as well as having a nasty case of eye strain (still, continually lol) so… you’ll find not much is updated on the blog at the moment (working on more vids, including the making of the Vday slideshow Revver vids, next) lekin… just a public invitation a little in advance..

Gori has decided she is going to shaadi some yummy desi ladka abi 😀 As in , aaj lol 😛 Next cheez is to re-write mehri Sri LKS questionnaire <– (link is purani version na?) in order to do this. Economic circumstances notwithstanding, there are more than a few reasons why I’ve decided to put myself on the auction block (lol, hopefully not literally) so to speak. Maybe I’ll even make a separate questionnaire for those dhukh, bara uncle crorepatis (usually goray/married desis, statistically speaking) who want to pay gori’s $4-5K/mo (ha, that’s while living as ek *renter* na? sigh) expenses San Francisco mein tik? lmao.. doubt if any of those bara uncles are that rich/generous lol! Phir seriously, I have decided since being abandoned by another desi would-be BF around Vday that I want to marry ASAP. Finding ek desi (well, pardesi na? we’re not talking Kumar-esque ACBDs here lol) who is able to withstand family to do so is, not surprisingly, seemingly impossible. Lekin LTR with voh desi yaar doesn’t seem to materialize, given the issues of utter lack of backbone/truth-telling among ur culture, unowatimsayin’? 😉 Sometimes yes, sometimes nahin. Gori is tired of this cycle 😦 Poor gori na?

So.. in short: sub yummy Sri Lumba Kala Sundars (aur possibly Crorepatis)- ‘Will you marry me?’ 😀

Be sure to check the photos page (aur of course, read at least a little of the (at present, somewhat out dated) blog so u know what ur getting into exactly lmao) before attempting to reply lol. Best way to do so is to weather the uber-lengthy (but humorous! promise!) Are u Sri LKS? quiz. Pyar mehray jaan 😀 Mehndi lagakay reckhna… dholi sujakay rekhna… leynay tuhje o gori… ayengay tehre sujhna 🙂 tee hee.. we’ll see! 😀 Happy Leap Day, so mote it be 😀 <– ek diyan expression na? Notice how those char cheez rhyme ha ji? See I told u u’d better read the disclaimer (aka the blog itself) first tik? 😀

Mehri Xmas aur Happy New Yaar! :)

Xmas bahut busy time na? Gori right now is going to see how scary Ikea is today, 2 days before.. u guessed it- her BIRTHDAY na? 😀 U thought I was going to say something else, didn’t u? 😀

So without further ado..

please be sure to donate at least ek dollar to gori’s Mini Cooper 2008S fund.. & watch yeh Mini photo get colored in! Cool na? 😀

Donate to goriji’s Mini Cooper fund! :D

(click on yeh Mini to go to page.. gori’s Mini nahin lal however.. how boring na? yawn… gori’s is hella tricked out cozy Mini..)

Lekin hurry! Sirf 38000 desis needed to donate yeh dollar each to pay for entire Mini na? lmao 😛

On a more Xmasy theme, please to take gori questionnaire/dating gori quiz here:

yeh most important funny questionnaire ever made for Sri LKSes (or something like that na?- direct link)

gori paid good $$ for this na? besides, at the end u’ll get the code to get into this page:

Sexy gori Santa photos! yey 😀

U know u wanna see na? Sirf 2 days til Xmas! Jaldi karo! Chel chel chel chel! 😀

Meantime, although it’s been said.. bahut times, bahut ways… Merry Xmas! aur Happy New Yaar (for gori we hope! so take yeh quiz quick!) 😀

Off to Ikea! Be sure to wish gori ek Happy Bday on mehri acchi comments page!

Pyar mehri yaar! 🙂

Are u Sri LKS? Take the quiz na? :P

Aap Sri LKS hai? take the quiz…

Did u garam mastis miss ur gori over the last week of no hits aur (correspondingly) nahin Craigslist posts? 😛 Gori notices she was hit by some stupid ‘Auto Turk’ or kuch bhi un-PC dorky-goron who just don’t get it-named cheez.. metlab some desi must have been doing data entry for them & thought of gori (shuk ji!) 😉 More on that later lekin..

Yeh ‘piece de resistance’ abi na?! Gori’s new ‘Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar?’ questionnaire! WOW! 🙂 Despite working herself to death ATM gori somehow found time to do this.. fill it out quick, before yeh stalker ulloo ha3ks it na? 😛 Go here to check it out:

Aap Sri LKS hai? take the quiz…

Yeh billiyan photos are pretty darn funny, if gori does say so herself na? 🙂 Anyhow, next up gori’s gotta catch up on everything else that’s gotten behind na? Lekin the Mini Cooper donate page is probably next because after all, it’s gori’s bday (on XMAS DAY na?) & you know u wanna give til it hurts (at least ek dollar na?- PayPal donate jis!) to gori’s custom Mini Cooper attempt #4 fund.. more on that laters! 🙂 Pyar.. tell ek dost about the questionnaire.. for a limited time sirf! 🙂

PS OMG lmao.. WTF? 2 seconds after gori posts this (well, within an hour, in context where no one should have seen it yet) I get this in mehri stats na?

This post in Hinch/Frendi 😛

OMG ROFLMAO 😛 Guess I shouldn’t use froofy French chef phrases like ‘piece de resistance’ na? tee hee.. weird how it actually translates yeh English (plus I’m sure some stuff transliterated into what looks like Angrezi) then leaves yey Hindi na? lols.. well nice try. When they actually get yeh Hindi transliterated (or Devanagari, whichever) translator, just lemme know, it will save gori much work & be a better goron-be-gone cover na? 😛 nitey nite bachchi 😀