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Archive for Mini Cooper

tweeps! :) sup?

K in case u haven’t noticed the column to the right lol –> I’m going crazy on twitter my peeps 🙂 In the time I’ve neglected yeh blog (since early July 2009), ur gori’s tweeted about 1700 or more tweets & counting na? 😉 lol if u wanna add me on Twitter, I’m @gorisf na? 😉

Basically I’m focusing on a few areas: desi cheez (of course, including Bolly & SRK filim stuff), the hypocrisy of fundamentalist Muslim (oops I almost starting putting hashtags lol) attitudes, aur tweets about my vids (revver.com, voh lame site now owned by some goonda who’s letting it fall apart literally+ not paying anyone boo)- they r gonna be re-loaded onto a functional site ASAP (all 350+ of them & counting na?)..

..plus I tweet bout meri *NAYA FILM* whoo 😉 Working title ‘Soufi & Me’ hai na? 😉 aka ‘Soufi et Moi’ lol ‘सूफी और मैं’ ‘الصوفي & لي’ etc lol! 🙂 So there *is* a 2-part vid about my casting needs 😉 for this no-budget narrative feature film (to get technical on u there for a minute)- aka u could be famous & not have to really have acting skills to do so but… haven’t posted the vid(s) yet as I’m in the middle of finding a new video hosting site for reasons listed above.

Also, didn’t forget about the (hopefully humorous) acchi desi cheez gori clothing & accessories line (srsly! 2 use twit-speak).. it’s just that.. yeppers, I’m about to get evicted from my ghur (cry!), rent hasn’t been paid since the last blog post, u can see that’s quite a long time. Plus I’m being stalked by such SF goonday na? (Real don peeps eek!)- which is what yeh filim is actually about, besides being a love story 😉

So if u pray 2 any goddesses or gods of any sort, say a prayer 4 gori aaj, tik hai? The donate 2 gori’s Mini Cooper fund link in the archive should still (hopefully lol) work, in case anyone wants 2 donate the extreme amounts of $$$ needed for me 2 stave off imminently becoming homeless 😦 *sigh* Or of course, you can donate towards the film, which ideally has a ‘low low budget’ of $500K (basically a budget to keep me housed while writing the script, feed the crew while filming & pay 2 rent a camera/print the film, with little left for anything else 😉 In any case, I’m doing the dang film, even if I’m living marg mein instead of ghur mein 😦 which is exactly what local thuggees would like to see happen 😦

Oh if I didn’t say, it’s about gori kam trafficking bhi na? So if u wanna be a funder (or just lend gori her back rent $$)- catch me on twitter peeps & I’ll be bahut khushi 2 take any donations lol-or just say ‘hi’! 🙂 Pyar jis & watch yeh space 4 more details on filim production & lol fundraising attempts!

BTW if ur bored (besides talking 2 me ‘live’ on twitter, u know u wanna, especially the more Tamilian-esque masti Sri Lumba Kala Sundars out there na?) u can check out my very own #Hashtag on twitter: #LHTE, which stands for ‘Learn Hindi Through English’ lmao. Because everyone knows that crappy Hindi book, my theory being that ‘Hinglish’ goes both ways: it’s not just some gora being unable to speak Hindi (or other Indian languages) but also desi peeps being unable 2 properly speak Angrezi na? So enjoy! All typos are directly copied from the book itself lmao!

Will bb soon jis, in the meantime, just read the next column & u got more details than I’m sure u ever wanted lol –> 😉


Merry Xmas jis! Happy SRK na? :)

Tik er… Merry Xmas aur khushi (not really) bday to gori na? I noticed lotsa peeps checking out the moti gori Santa vid from last year na? That is, once I finally got online aaj, after being hacked for 3 days 😦 (psst the super-secret pword is the last name of the PM 😉 -be sure to capitalize the first letter na?) The link is above (yeh ‘sexy secret gori Santa page’ na?) now that gori changed the blog to yeh cozy winter theme.. bahut bariya choochiyan to be found there tik? Lekin be sure to read below once ur done 😉 BTW snowflakes courtesy of WordPress.. they melt after Jan 4th, apparently… so meantime gori’s Xmas = sux hard 😦 no pun intended lol.. It’s mehri bday today (Xmas day) na? & well, u know if I have time to blog, that cheez isn’t that great na? 😦

Still, to cheer things a little, here are the SRK interviews I refer to in yeh video (see below for highly pertinent SRK Islam quotes as accurately, painstakingly transcribed by gori)- SRK ended up being the ideal ‘moderate Muslim’ I was lamenting about in mehri Bombay blasts videos & has encapsulated very articulately basically all of the important points I was thinking/feeling about the situation, lekin of course it means much more coming from SRK than gori lol…Some bahut cozy/accha person posted SRK’s interview on YouTube in teen parts, here:

I dedicate these videos to Mohammed Bedda, bhai ka garam Arab yaar Soufiane… ‘Momo’ is ek bara SRK fan bhi (remember? yeh yaar who yelled at gori public mein for like an hour about how Sharia law should be imposed San Francisco mein so gori could be killed for choding gAy- garam Arab yaar, ussa bhai na?) Is that how you use the word ‘ussa’ ‘usne’? kuch bhi.. lol 😛 Much of what SRK says applies directly to the hypocritical/lame-gaand situation with bhai ka garam Arab yaar.. since SRK is also important to him, I’ll let Shah Rukh make a very pertinent rebuttal to yeh Mohammed bhai, since his words will get much more respect, being a Muslim male n all.. everything below is both very apt in terms of the Mumbai terrorism blasts of last month, as well as being a direct answer to the utter BS you spout about your own religion, Mohammed, vis a vis earlier arguments we had. I hope you see this & at least give Shah Rukh a little respect for saying everything gori has tried to say to you, while I’m apparently ek rundi/kam-slave sirf.. (check the bottom of this post for more on the sucha kam goonday situation.. sigh)

Some wonderfully specific quotes from gori’s transcript of voh teen Shah Rukh videos (some clarification added in italics for any non-desi peeps who may read this- or clueless 2nd gen’ers lol):

SRK: ‘I like to believe I’m an educated, liberal Muslim, who has a Hindu wife and two kids.. the more I’m seeing these kind of things over the years, the more it makes me realize… the vulnerability of life, of course, which we all understand… I think it unites us, tragedy has a strange sense of uniting people.. I get very scared now.. and it could happen to anyone. You know, the whole reality is… it’s not bound by areas, or castes, or creeds, or colors.. it could happen to anyone.’
‘If you can take away any positive from this tragedy, and have some kind of peace in your heart, to be able to look at that- I think the very thing that the terrorists tried to destroy, which is unity, secularism, the economy, and.. just the dignity of the country, I think for the first time we have all come to realize that very thing is actually got (has been) strengthened. The unity has got (sic) strengthened… and I cannot say I’m glad, but I can 100% say, that if you can take away anything positive, that is the biggest positive. They have now given us the biggest weapon against them, and we need to utilize it in the best way possible.. which is unity, across classes, across religions..’
‘You know- can I clarify- I’ve read the Qu’ran, the Holy Qu’ran, and I’m a believer of Islam, because that’s how I am born.. I’ll give you a few verses of Qu’ran, which you need to understand… there is ‘Sura pulse suray moida’ which is a verse from Qu’ran, which very clearly states that if you heal one man, you heal the whole mankind- this is what God says- and if you hurt one man, you hurt the whole mankind. There is *no where* in Qu’ran- see, we believe, Qu’ran is the word of Allah- so there are believers in that book, in that holy book, and I’m very clear if you’re following Allah’s Qu’ran, if you’re following Allah’s Islam, *no where* does it say that you are going to get jennat (salvation, go to heaven) by jihad (holy war aka ‘terrorism’), *no where* does it say that you can kill women- as a matter of fact it says *in a war*, you cannot kill a woman, you cannot kill a child, you cannot kill an animal, and you cannot destroy crops. Very clear: jihad was supposed to be something that was to be propagated by the Prophet himself.’
‘There is an Islam from Allah which is in our holy book, there is an Islam- and very unfortunate, I’m not being ‘auntie’- but there is an Islam from the mullahs. And I appeal to all of them: *please* give the right reading of the Qu’ran to the young people- I do it to (this for) my children- no where in the Qu’ran, which we consider is the word of Allah- does it say that you are going to be given jennat if you kill harmless, innocent people, *no where*.’
(Rajdeep Sardesai from CNN IBN): ‘So they’re distorting religion..’
SRK: ‘Absolutely, see, this has happened for the last 100 years at most, or 120 years Raj, it’s not something (from) a thousand five-hundred years ago.. See I’ll explain it to you- jihad was actually to be called upon by the Prophet himself. And jihad also has a very simple logic- if you go by what is written- that there is debates.(sic) There has to be understanding- either you convince me of your viewpoint or I convince you of mine. And then also if we don’t understand (agree), we’ll go our separate ways. *No way* does jihad say- very very clearly, let me be very honest about it, I’ve read it now, I’ve read it many times over the last 2-3 years- it doesn’t say that you can go into *anybody else’s* territory, you know jihad says that if somebody comes into *your* territory, then you can protect yourself.’
(Rajdeep): ‘..does it then really trouble you.. “Not every Muslim is a terrorist, but all terrorists are Muslim”- these are the kinds of SMSes that have done the rounds at times in.. upper middle class societies..’
SRK: ‘See, I cannot deny it anymore, you know two years’ back, I used to get very disturbed when the Americans said that all the terrorists are Muslim, I would say ‘no that’s not true’. But now I can’t deny it, because 95, 99% of the people who get caught, or who are shot, are claimed to be Muslims…’
‘I think both hardliners- Hindus & Muslims- I think there should be a law in this country: that *no* political party’s agenda can be communal (based on religious separatism). And be it the biggest party, be it the smallest party- *no* organization which is going to mis-read any of the books, whether it is Qu’ran or (Bhagavad) Gita, should be allowed. There should be a hard-line treatment to the hardliners, one. Secondly, I also like to believe at this point of time, that some of us are born Muslim, so some of these guys who got completely mislead- or women also- they are by birth Muslim, but I don’t think that by teaching (they are), Muslim. They’ve been just born that way. The teachings of Islam are as wonderful, as good, as the teaching of Gita. Or of the Bible- they’re all the same. And I think the youngsters (younger generation) understand this much better today, and that’s why I have huge hope in them.’
(on initial emotional reactions of the people of India saying ‘bomb Pakistan’)
SRK: ‘..but I have a huge amount of faith in the goodness of Indians…I think they will understand.. see what I’m sensing- I’m not saying dishonesty- but what I’m sensing is that everybody’s trying to protect (themselves)… ‘Ok let’s not say it happened in Pakistan’ (that the terrorists originated there).. and you can’t completely deny it.. they’re living in denial, and of course, some of us also reacting and saying ‘let’s just bomb Pakistan’- no. I think like I said, the first tenet of jihad, if I was to tell you just as a Muslim, is debate. Let’s sit down, and *accept* the truth. See accepting the truth actually makes the problem vanish. Let’s accept the truth: uh-oh, these guys are being trained there- we’re not claiming the government is doing it, but we’re saying they’re being trained- can the government (of Pakistan) *do* something about it? Yes we can-let’s take outside help, let’s come, and try and finish them off in the best way possible.’
(Rajdeep): ‘Shah Rukh, would you be willing to debate with a fanatic?…be it a Muslim or Hindu fanatic? Are you willing to have that debate?’
SRK: ‘Can I just tell you one thing? I think fanatics have no ground to stand on. It’s very easy to debate with a fanatic. Because I think they’re misinformed.. Any normal, educated, well brought-up Indian or Pakistani can debate with a fanatic from either side, and win the debate very clearly… because I’m again & again saying, if you’re following Allah’s word, if you’re following even Gita’s word, if you’re following the Biblical word, there is *no* tenet anywhere which states this.’
‘See, you & I don’t know what Heaven is going to be like. You & I genuinely don’t know what God is going to be like. But I can assure you of one thing that you & I both know very clearly: that by hurting someone who is innocent, there is *no* way, *no* God in this world is going to be good to you and take you to Heaven.’
‘I see an amazing amount of hope, and I attach it again and again to the youth… here are people who *can* do it, and *will* do it… we have to see it within ourselves, we do respect Gandhiji’s tenets… that yes, do not offer the other cheek. If a guy slaps you, and he says very clearly ‘I’m sorry’, it’s ok, accept it… I’m not saying ‘bomb XYZ’, but you need to take a little hard stance, because they have come to our house. You know, you can’t allow people to come to our houses, and destroy our families, you just cannot, you cannot allow that… There is zero tolerance for terror, and a lack of security, and I think we need to put up organizations in place, and say ‘listen, we will not tolerate this’. And right now I can sense that in the country.’
‘I can’t say we are fortunate, but I think we’re in the middle of an amazing historical event which is only going to make our country very very strong.. I can’t say I’m happy, but I’m at peace, that I’m part of this movement…’

Now that u’ve waded thru all that, be sure to check the latest bahut dhukh series on gAy aur bhai ka gAy aur their scary evil team of naisay gunday na? In case u were wondering how mehri Xmas was ruined (poor gori!) aur how cheez got to this sorry state of affairs 😦

(BTW jis.. as u can probably tell, gori’s having some choti formatting issues abi lol 😛 ..phir bhi u can still hover over the vids to watch thumbnails, or click to see the real cheez revver.com site mein na??) accha! 🙂

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt ek)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt do)

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt teen)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt char)

Mehri Chinese astrology isn’t looking good for 2009- gori is ek Ram (aka Sheep) with Pig/Boar influence in Bazi. Which essentially means this year may suck hard 😦 Oh noes!

Oh course u, the dedicated desi yaar hath ka.. er, reader aur goriji video viewer, will want to *give back* a tiny portion of that IT salary na? 😉 This time it’s not for a Mini Cooper lekin good old fashioned Amrikan merchandise, which can be had (coming soon!) goriji’s cafepress store mein 😉 <– link will be here as soon as it’s up & running! 🙂

So u can now have every sexy diwani kuch bhi cheez available, with ek gori logo na? Dog t-shirt? No problem.. baby t-shirt? got it.. maternity T-shirt.. even those.. how about gori bumperstickers, pins aur mugs? lol 😛 U know biwi’s not gonna be suspecting what ur doing on revver ka gori vids during lunch na? 😉 Who cares? U can always keep the thong.. er boxer shorts.. er metlab coffee mug at the office right? 😀

Meantime, did ya know that gori’s posted 300 vids & counting in 10+ madham sirf na? In case u were wondering why the blog’s sorta fallen behind lols… here’s the link to sub gori vids, with most recent showing first *or* u can click this link to scroll through the bar on the left to see them organized by playlist subject, so now u know!)

Tik back to mehri regularly scheduled moping, at least until New Yaar’s 😉 Mehri gori diyan cards say there’s some naya pyar cheez 4 gori ASAP.. let’s hope it’s mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar crorepati, I sure need it, considering gori’s economic situation! 😦

peeps! remember tumhara goriji? :P


How diwani can cheez be around gori lately na? 😛 It’s been since Gay Pride that I’ve not posted.. uh, wait a sec.. I’m talking like garam arab yaar suddenly lmao.. who is yeh ‘Garam Arab Yaar’, u ask? Notice the acronym: ‘GAY’, which Sri Metrosexual insists he is decidely (supposedly, somewhat homophobically) NOT… despite being in love with his mataji, who apparently bears some superficial resemblance to gori (hello, Freud/Oedipus complex = GAY’, na? 😉 (j/k Soufi) 😉

I digress… Besides quite possibly being the source- at least a close 3rd guess after the Olympics aur US Presidential candidate nomination(s)- of gori’s suddenly dropped vlog ratings.. notwithstanding near constant hacking by yeh M1M, the usual suspect.. garam Arab/Algerian yaar has been taking up bahut bandwidth, lekin ‘putting out’ 😛 for gori nahin.. so we’re gonna leave that situation for a bit (especially during Ramadan, the period in which gori is apparently prohibited from doing anything meaningful/naughty with Moslem peeps of that ilk anyway, being an infidel n all (psst: <– yeh link is actually for Independence Day na?) 😛 aur continue onto more desi-like subject…

So, once again, a total re-vamp of yeh oft-neglected (typically in favor of mehri Revver.com vids) blog here on WordPress is in order. I’ve given up on waiting for yeh M1M to quit hacking me (<–BTW all those links (well, most) are to revver vids, in case ur wondering na? Check out how cool- u can now watch mehri vids voh ‘snap’ preview windows mein by hovering sirf, no need to click over to the revver site -unless of course u wanna see gori choochiyan full size tik hai?- WOW na yaar?) 😉 .. aur am just gonna forge ahead with a total update/redo, including a full organization with commentary of the entire (to date) 220+ gori revver vids (goal: 600 vids total by years’ end! whoo!!) 🙂 We’re gonna see a resurrection of voh ‘What’s More Retarded?’ polls aur possibly even some gori merchandising, in order to help raise paisay for gori’s naya desi club na? 😉 I’ve noticed bahut peeps visiting yeh Mini Cooper page, yet not donating na? 😦 Don’t worry, the M1M is unlikely to mess with u via PayPal, gori was able in the past to keep her eBay business going & receive payments that way despite yeh ulloo so… feel free to follow mehri suggestion aur donate (sirf, lol) ek dollar 😛 for every time u hath ka juggernaut 😛 lmao to voh gori vids or slideshows 🙂 tee hee….

Gori’s Mini is about $40K sticker price (haven’t looked at prices on 2009 models yet.. can’t believe how much $$ has been wasted on rentals when I could just have a proper tricked-out custom gori gaadi na?) 😦 poor gori! aur re: yeh naya desi club, j’ai besoin de (metlab: muhje chaiye lol) $120K start-up funding (or $70K on a shoestring budget! that’s US dollars na yaar?)- certainly someone wants to help gori escape yeh M1M hacker by giving her a viable off-line way to make ek living, while creating an uber cool sub desi weekly lounge/cross-cultural (read: goris + desis, aur sub cool peeps) dating venue aur nite club spot na? 😉 Even got an incredibly fine SF location already nailed down (shukriya mehri dost Andy, of the up & coming, soon-to-be Rancho Parnassus na?)… just waiting on u peeps to cough some $$ up.. er, feel civically minded & want to be gori’s angel investor, or something like that 🙂

So is that enough Hinglish to keep u all khushi for a little bit? 😛 Most recently, my vid uploading has gotten quite behind as yeh M1M hacker bakarchod is messing with my audio drivers- I did have audio yeh laptop mein for a couple of days, now the driver itself has apparently been removed (samjhe: WTF? look here if you care about this type of BS lol).. aur I’m sure that in a few days it will magickally ‘re-appear’, just like most of the other hacks yeh sala harasses gori with continually. Interesting aur such kahani: met with yeh retired Fed agent the other day (please, don’t ask lmao).. yeh yaar first person hai to not be surprised or even the least bit incredulous when gori made her best attempt at describing what yeh M1M stalker has been doing (mind you, this includes spying on gori via seemingly turned-off cell phones aur all other manner of truly bizarre cheez). In fact, yeh yaar (without batting an eyelash) simply said, ‘Nothing you’ve said so far surprises me.. it’s just typical surveillance techniques.’ *sigh* Now if a KGB operative (or goonda of any ilk, kuch bhi) would just drop the polonium in bakarchod’s teapot or something… (gori suddenly snaps out of fantasy mode lol)…

So finally, do stay tuned. Hacks or no, we’re gonna revamp yeh blog & get on with the garam masti na? 🙂 Aur don’t forget, whether gori posts in craigslist rants & rants or nahin, I’m still cafe mein sub Fridays downtown San Francisco mein, from 4:30-6pm, until further notice, lurkin’ u yaars (sub long-lost via the hacker dostay such as Daison bhai, D shaadied yaar 😛 aur guruji (ahem) also feel free to materialize there) 😉 Pyar jis! 😀

gori made 10K hits in 6 mos! Aaj, let’s eradicate yeh M1M! :(

UPDATE: this video is for Daison! Still trying to reach u yaar! *sigh* 😐 Mehri M1M goonday kaha hai na? lol…

First cheez first tik? Gori wants to thank all her loyal aur garam desi yaaron readers- I made mehri goal of over 10,000 blog hits in the first 6 months! 🙂 Pyar jis! 😀 Shukriya bahut na? 😀 Abi, yeh hits are now getting divided up between here aur Revver.com, where gori has a burgeoning vlog going (over 3000 hits in 2 months from 30 vids..), on subjects like filim reviews (including ek massive plot spoiler series for naya Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay filim releasing later this month na?), making of garam slideshows, mehri bura diwana ex-sanam, aur upcoming vids comparing various Mini Cooper features (once gori figures how to get around Revver’s incredibly laughable need to flag mehri Mini Cooper vid for ‘copyright infringement’ (ROFLMAO) 😛 for having ‘Uyirin Uyire’, yeh Tollywood filim song, playing on the stereo in the BG lmao..) may have to move those to You Tube, where you can see the whole Tamil Nad filim vid as per below.. gori “reviews” it 😛 in voh paragraphs below bhi na?) lol… plus coming soon: free psychic readings! (with video answers na? Angrezi mein tik? lol.. told u gori is ek diyan tee hee) ..

Meantime, gori has been offline at least 80% of the last 4 weeks na? Despite furious effort to the contrary… ugg… yeh M1M is now the subject of ek video series by gori on Revver na? lol 😛 (In case u didn’t figure it out yet, if u hover over the links u can usually see yeh page it will take u 2.. if u click.. it will take u there na?) 🙂

…aur you thought Bollywood is dumb na? Gori pyar bahut yeh song ‘Uyirin Uyire’ phir… tik hai? Check yeh vid for urselves na: Kaakha Kaakha ‘Uyirin Uyire’ BTW they forgot in the You Tube comments to mention that ‘Kakka’ (besides being maternal uncle Hindi mein, is unfortunately also ‘sh1t’ in Spanish bhi na.. spelled ‘caca’.. tee hee… kuch bhi…) WTF with the metal-face back-up dancer yaaron 😛 (doing disco hyper-fast in plastic shirts) turning into Tamil Nad national flag colors pirates with weird mouth gags & female-style bandeau tops.. 😛 turning into bloody graveyard zombies in jeans, na? 😀 Is the female lead allowed to ‘kiss’ the chubby dude who changes his hair cut more than his outfits in this vid because they are really married in real life na? 😛 Whatup with the crazy hand/arm moves on yeh yaar on the tree branch (right after the metal-face zombie dancers), or the bandage/fashion accessory on his hand towards the middle na? Dang! 😀 Wait- better yet- the bowl cut with bangs (fringe to u peeps) 😛 to go with the weird hand bandage thing na? Aur u thought SRK is cheesy na? lmao.. If gori chased someone for that long (or got chased, hint hint) 😛 she might want more than kunjum kunjum kiss na? 😛 tee hee.. BTW do all Tamil yaar wrinkle their eyebrows like that? Or only this yaar + gori’s ex? Please enlighten tik? At least this guy is kala enough for gori 😀 unlike yucky goray Bolly heros 😀 mmm… except maybe Ajay Devgan lol.. The chick is hot in purple at the end na? 😉 Except where did her tennis shoes 😛 needed to run through all that slate(?) or kuch bhi go? Like when she sort of subjugates her pati with her leg? She’s barefoot then.. notice? roflmao… 😛

Just an observation.. meantime, here is gori’s open video letter to Tamil villager yaar ex BF (Agasthi! hello! did u actually steal gori’s Mini Cooper deposit or was it yeh M1M? Inquiring minds want to know!).. 😛 this is part of a series of vids on how gori is trying to flee yeh M1M hacker/stalker, who has been on ek ENORMOUS rampage lately… poor gori na? Click here to see the playlist of the whole series of vids lol… & click here to see the playlist on mehri weekly cafe meets in downtown SF na? 🙂 Not off to a great start lekin I’ll be there next week, & all weeks thereafter.. see u there! 🙂

An aspiration of gori’s is to start ek page (if the eye strain ever stops enough to update what’s here lol).. with other peeps with websites using their own unintentional hybrid languages etc.. lol… Plus other funny cheezay.. cheezon.. uh.. kuch bhi.. anyhow..

So here’s the website du jour.. just to show u yaar how gori is BAHUT unlike yeh other goron na? 😛 For example: I have never stepped foot in a Target (though gori has a ‘white trach’ lmao dost who pyar Tar-zhay bahut.. always wondered why) aur gori hasn’t seen ‘Sicko’ (because it was sold out at the filim festival where it played na? .. sirf reason..) phir bhi I know sub stats on socialized health care from being ek self-employed person badly in need of it, yet lacking it tik? Will admit that yeh yuppie baap aur ma did let us drink wine occassionally as bachchiyan na? 😛 roflmao.. tik hai tik hai.. gori San Francisco se na? Lekin for 20 years tik? gori nahin pasand voh yuppian hai na? 😦 However, I do hang out in the Castro (for majority of those years na? aur have tons of gay dostay.. being bi myself tik?) hmm.. aur gori doesn’t own ek TV either na? (Wow, are there other peeps like that? Sub yaaron make me feel like a freak for not having one… lol).. wait a sec here.. what’s this about filim fests (aur liking weird/obscure other cultures filims lmao? aur sushi na?).. 😐 tik phir I hate dogs, don’t know who TF Michel Gondry is, hate sports, am OVER brown ladkay fetishising voh Asian ladkiyan (more than gori na? hmmpph! tee hee…) & actually realize how racist Japanese ppl (from/in Japan, nahin ABCJs na?) are.. plus gori hates other goron entirely na? Especially the ones who they talk about here 😛 Nothing like u ABCD coconuts! 😛 lol…tee hee.. What is gori talking about this time? Check it out: Stuff White People Like lmao… nahin, gori doesn’t resemble this at ALL tik? lols…

Be sure to aao to the cafe meets tik? No lurking na? 🙂 U know u want some garam gori nasha hai na? It all starts with ek conversation.. aur don’t forget: sub dostay aur ppl with resources (comp geeks/IT ppl, legal help, extra cell phone (minus SIM na? sirf cell phone plastic lol) donators) or anyone else desi-minded invited hai na? pyar! 😀

Happy Vday Day jis! :)

tik admitted.. gori is bahut dhukh aaj.. mehri naya dost/sanam is going B2B 😉 aaj 😦 sigh… a few weeks of fun ending in sorrow na? ..so gori has renewed her determination to find her Sri Lumba Kala Sundar immediately na? Lekin meantime, here is ek garam (hopefully lol) slideshow (on gori’s photos page na? also at bottom of links on left bar below) as promised… if ur ek serious desi yaar (well, funny, sexy aur serious tik?) who can actually wrap ur mind around the concept of shaadi ki gori.. gori ka shaadi.. uh kuch bhi na? 😛 then do take this questionnaire:

Prospective Sri LKS quiz!

If u don’t give contact info at the end, then there’s no point in taking it to begin with tik? Also, not worth trying if ur bara uncle, married or gora (though gori’s thinking seriously about making another crorepati/sugar daddy quiz if she doesn’t get her Mini Cooper soon na?) lol 😛 phir.. sigh… 😐 gori is sick of having her heart broken so… hoping to find someone real, cool & lasting na? 😛 I realize I may be asking too much, phir gori deserves best sirf, accha? Off to cry in mehri chai a little longer.. then we’ll be back with more revver vids plus ‘making of gori’s Vday photos’ na? sigh.. why is life so disappointing hai na? 😦 *sigh* Seems to me that good peeps always finish last u know? Anyhow.. check out mehri pics & you’ll feel better at least na? 😀

gori revver videos! :)

Tik.. gori’s new method of making $$ for her tricked-out 2008 Mini Cooper is here… new gori Revver.com videos! 🙂 You can check them out from gori’s photo page, where many new ones will be uploaded, along with ek garam Vday slideshow coming soon! Gori gets paid for you to watch her vids na? = win/win situation jis! 😀

So even though the weather’s hecka nasty out (even here in SF) I hope my vids will keep ya warm inside 😉 u know what I mean? tee hee… 😛 Here’s some required watching (tell ek dost na?) on how we can end climate change aaj, or hopefully before we all drown/freeze to death at least, by finding a way around the gov’t/’Big Oil’ in order to manufacture full-size sedans (& yep, even evil SUVs) as cars that run on electricity, immediately. Electric auto-rickshaws, anybody? Be sure to watch: Who Killed the Electric Car? as soon as ur done with gori’s vids.. which of course, are much shorter than yeh gaadi filim lol 😛

Also check out voh diwana weekly What’s More Retarded? polls! Be sure to wote na? 😉 This week’s theme: Things that don’t culturally translate na? Pyar jis! 🙂

gori, hai na? :P

Arei jis… mein gori hoon, craigslist se.. or at least that’s how a bunch of you desi yaar.. uh yaaron lol.. know me by now 😉 Well I’ve been hack3d so much by *someone* (ek bahut irritating someone) very much known to me we won’t mention, that I’ve decided to start mehri very own blog instead, out of frustration @ not being able to actually use a public forum like CL without being stalked 😦 Were I quite a bit more wealthy, I could actually DO something about this, legally speaking.. lekin, gori isn’t na? lol. The hack3r/stalk3r has gone to great lengths to keep it that way, to have continual access to me as an unwilling victim, for long reasons I’ll bore u all with laters.. meantime…

Tik so first of all, if you don’t already know about me, I’m the gori (real gori na= mein goron hoon, nahin Hindustani na? .. Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani, to quote SRK lol 😉 ) ..who’s always speaking funny but poor Hinglish (the legacy of various desi ex-sanam who promised to teach me Hindi, which of course to Indian guys = ‘I’ll say anything to get you in bed, then make NO effort whatsoever once I’ve done so’ lol.. u get the idea 😉 ) Therefore the most I learned was way way back from mehri dost Manoj (I hope he sees this- r u still in Atlanta, mehri dost? lol) who basically never succeeded on that count, but definitely tried to (literally) chase gori around his apt. alot in the process of teaching me to read/write Devanagari script. If I can figure out how to load whatever widget I need to write in Hindi here, I’ll show u my even funnier Hinglish (or really, Angrindi lol) in Devanagari na? Then again, I’m not sure if Manoj ever divorced? 😛 So I should probably shut up lmao.. Lucky for me all desi names are so common, I can name even full names & each of you could rightfully claim that’s ‘someone else’ in the same city even, na?) 😉 So u’ve got a pre-made alibi there in case biwi ends up reading this somehow lol..

Tik hai, the most important cheez to know about gori is that I’m on a seemingly endless search for yeh Sri Lumba Kala Sundar. I never stop talking about him lol 😛 Being ek diyan, I’ve had ek sapna a few months ago where I actually *saw* yeh ladka, I could see his face exactly, see how very lumba he is, & see even his wavy/wiggly hair (that is found sometimes in a ponytail, in case u happen to be him lol). To gori’s surprise, he was wearing yeh sort of hipster/cheezy designer wire-rimmed (gold-colored) small rectangular glasses, aur was bahut thin.. at least compared to curvyji (shukriya Sumesh for that naam lol) gori na?

This revelation (I rarely dream about real people, even ppl I currently know, when I do, it’s usually somewhat prophetic), only encouraged me to continue to try to find this person, when basically all hope had pretty much run out.. the revelation that he is both tall aur *thin* & having at least reading glasses made me all the more convinced this is a real yaar na? Because if I would have just made him up (ideally speaking) in my head, he would be so kala he would be like the color of Kali Ma na? Matte black skin.. yum.. aur he wouldn’t be so thin, or have this slightly geeky look with the glasses & sort of stooping slightly to look down & talk to the shorter folks (I think he’s like 6’2″ or even taller lol).. He would be more like with wide shoulders.. mmm.. thinking of a photo of yeh desi yaar gori got CL se recently.. sexy Fijian-type shoulders ko (ka, ki? ugg.. I can’t figure out the postpositions, much less the dang verbs!).. of course that person right now I’ve lost touch with also, shuk yeh psycho stalk3r for that as well.. Anyhow, just to say that mehri ideal Sri LKS would have been bahut bahut kala aur a bit more stocky, no glasses but a sort of very debonair Bollywood air to him lol! plus would *stand up completely straight* (now u know I’m really Angrezi, hai na?).. tik.. anyhow, I’m convinced he’s yeh real person, yeh crorepati pardesi who lives in London (or Switzerland for all I care lol) & comes to San Francisco (where gori is) on business quite often. Aur possibly 34 aur divorced hai lmao.. or kuch bhi 😀 Mehri psychic dost 😛 even went as far as to say that he is staying at this specific very yuppie hotel in downtown, near Union Square.. I begged to differ, I thought he stayed in the pretty, Victorian-era old-school famous hotel, she thinks the bahut ulloo, ugly, PoMo, ultra expensive ‘residence suites’ a short distance away…

Either way, I hope it’s written somewhere in the Akashic record 😉 that we’ll meet in the lobby of the old hotel (gori is a historical architecture preservationist buff na? Gori hella despises yuppies, & the termites called ‘developers’ that have actively destroyed the majority of what was once a gorgeous, creative & much more diverse city in the all too long 20 yrs she’s had to observe it… no I’m not saying I’m 20yo sillies.. I’ve lived in SF 20 yrs na?).. anyhow, once in recent weeks gori even thought she saw a fleeting glimpse of him in yeh hotel, ducking out a side door she never realized existed til that day..

Which leads me to one of my side pages I’m about to create: yeh garam desi sitings 🙂 Sort of like CL ‘Missed Connections’ except now u’ll know who wrote it na? 😉 I saw do different garam ladkay when I was near Powell Muni & Union Square yesterday.. so I’ll start with them & the others I can remember na? Plus all the kala Mercedes SLK sitings lmao.. because gori is convinced that’s the latest gadi (gardi kuch bhi) he drives.. of course since he’s yeh crorepati, he could have ek gaadi (?- I usually write gari.. actually) like that na? lols..

Which leads gori to the last cheez for aaj… wait is aaj today or is it that weird word metlab ‘yesterday’ aur ‘tomorrow’ at the same time na? I forget lol 😛 Anyhow, obviously as this blog (hopefully) gets going, if anything weird happens (from it going down/getting defaced to being spoofed/rude commentary etc.. well I’ll stop there.. we don’t want to give yeh ulloo too many ideas).. the presumption is I’ve been hack3d, & will be back eventually.. sigh 😦 Here or elsewhere.. just to tell everyone that possibility surely exists, up front..

Tik, I wish so bad I was in Mumbai.. or anywhere India mein really.. to see all the Ganeshas 🙂 lekin I’m stuck here… I’m also bummed that my real name, ‘gori’ was stolen by someone blogging in Spanish lol.. oh well.. tik mehri sexy sanam 🙂 I’ll be back, with any luck! 😛