gori’s garam desi yaar sightings :D
NEWSFLASH!!! 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 Gori thinks she saw (& sort of briefly talked to) Sri LKS in the flesh a little over 24 hours ago OMFG!!!!!! (taking breath lol)… He is now listed as Sri LKS sighting ‘a)’ below, so you can find him! PLEASE READ! All Southie-culture knowledgable/Southie or Telugu-speaking-ish persons PLEASE gori needs advice on how to try to proceed! So please comment (on this page, or on the acchi/buri comments pages) as to what gori should do next! HELP! I think I’m going to faint lol 😛
(Ahem! Excuse me bhai saheb but.. while the URGENTLY IMPORTANT PART about the actual Sri LKS starts down about 2-3 paragraphs, gori, however, is FED UP with the fact that u yaar say endless amounts of stuff (not always friendly na?) to her via email on CL, but basically say *nothing* on this blog (comments? hello?). I can see the hits- there should be massive amounts of comment by now! Nice dost Raj posted some, so they are definitely working. If you posted a comment & didn’t see it show up, email gori via her CL posts (or, better yet, keep posting here until it appears).. however, assuming the MIM hack3r is not the cause of this, then we’re left with only one option (tee hee)- either leave a comment after reading this page (I need advice! now!!! yeh Southie dostay? please??), or you are forced to watch (yey! gori is excited!) Mitwa from SKANK, er KANK on YouTube! Because gori could not get this lame song out of her head (with agonizingly poor visuals lol) after seeing Sri LKS as per below, since he was wearing a shirt like the SRK wardrobe for this filim. How would you feel, going up the escalator out of Muni, weak in the knees from seeing LKS finally, seeing SRK vividly before ur eyes, arms reaching out in silly retro 80s ‘designer’ shirt ‘Mita- VAH.. blah blah blah blah mita-vah… mita- VAH-ah-ah-ah.. blah blah blah mita-vah..’ etc? Enough to drive a person crazy. Especially since he isn’t even singing with ‘his’ voice in the song! So that’s it: either leave a comment or click this link now. Watch the whole thing & remind urselves how much EASIER it would be to simply give gori love advice at the bottom of this page, especially after you see the horrible ‘rock band’ part lmao! Shukirya!) 😛
Tik mehri sexies 😉 Well here we are.. since my last attempts at getting hits via my ol’ fan base on Craigslist actually worked (whoa, gori’s blog’s FP articles- all 2 of them lmao- are in Google, practically overnight lols- shukriya mehri bhai saheb(s))! I figure we’ll try this… Gori innocently goes about her day noticing all the bahut garam desi yaar around SF (mmm… enough to make u sort of want to hath ka juggernaut, girl style.. I have no idea how Hindi mein boliye lol) Just like u boyz r busy checking out the ladkiya (or ladkay, or both, depending on ur preferences) 😉 But I digress… so just to say that gori DOES notice u yum-yum yaaron 😉 aur since she’s carefully digging around, looking cautiously for Sri LKS in the wake of the psycho-desis who have unfortunately dominated her desi-dating past… well she can’t help but notice all the f’ing hottie potential sanam passing by… I especially pyar the ones who are pardesi/FOB enough to sort of blush & look down when gori dares to return their stare na? tee hee… so cute! However not the stuff of romantic first meetings, passing each other silently on the street like that 😦 sigh.
Anyhow, here we go, mehri own little private CL ‘Missed Connections’ page.. if someone wants to give/lend gori a cell with camera that will work with a T-Mobile SIM card (..gori broke the last phone that had a camera by throwing it against the wall repeatedly after yeh Tamil villager abusive desi loser ex-sanam pissed her off by saying stupid/incomprehensible/non-committal/mumbled/irritating things ek too many times on the phone..) ..u know who u are, Agasthi, stealer of Mini Cooper deposits 😦 I’m gonna tell tumhara arranged marriage biwi too, u sala, if u dare to show ur nasty Tiger Woods-esque face again… lmao.. what was I saying? 😀 Oh yeah, so now gori has phone sirf, camera nahin. Feel free to get me a pink Razr Motorola one 😉 I’ll even buy u coffee or dinner or kuch bhi as thanks 😉 lol… (kuch bhi metlab expression ‘whatever’, nahin really kuch bhi na? lol) If I have yeh phone, I can post sort of blurry photos lmao.. So meantime, u all have to be content with mehri long, silly, digressive written descriptions sirf of the ladkay.. PLEASE USE THE COMMENTS AREA! & let gori know if you have even a (real, tik?) guess as to who any of these guys are 😀
All are as seen in various areas of San Francisco unless stated otherwise lmao… here goes:
a) OMFG it’s really SRI LUMBA KALA SUNDAR!!!!!!!! At least gori thinks so lol! 😛 Now first, all u aspiring Sri LKSes don’t get too depressed (lmao) because ek, gori doesn’t have yeh yaar’s phone # or even naam, er name, yet tik? The chances of finding him in a dtown SF crowd again are like, well, nil! So there’s still tons of hope for you lol! But seriously, gori is gonna write this entry in as much Angrezi-speak as possible (as per my note on the FP of this blog– u did realize the blog actually HAS a front page right? lol) so all Southies who have a disdain for Hindi can follow this & give input (see bottom of this long, long entry) I hope! lol 😛
Here we go: (brace yourselves, it’s another epic from gori, this time it’s Tollywood, nahin Bolly hai) 😉 Ok in English as much as possible- gori goes downtown YESTERDAY WEDNESDAY OCT 24TH 2007, ok? 😀 She sees nothing on her usual post office run, nahin, metlab- uh I mean, ‘no’ desis, no nothing except 2 crazy weird guys standing on either side of her, yet talking to each other, in the post office line 😦 making gori in a bad mood. After stopping briefly at the awful step thing that has become the Union Square park itself of late (mentioned below somewhere), she gets irritable & thinks there must be better garam desis (hot Indian guys if you didn’t already figure that out, Tamil/Telugu language nationalists/regionalists/supremacists etc.. lol) over on Market St, near the usual spot- the lame & corporate, but perfect for people watching, COFFEE BEAN & TEA LEAF CAFE na?
Well holy shit (think about some suheli sari mein throwing cow shit cakes at the wall, & them sliding down, wonder where that expression comes from na?) 😉 Anyhow.. gori is fairly non-plussed, but determined today to make notes at least of all the yaaron (that’s ‘dudes’ Hindi mein na jis?) that she sees, including the time of each sighting, thinking that might help things somehow. WELL.. lo & behold.. gori is once again in her travels crossing the street (traveling East on Mkt past Old Navy on the right, toward aforementioned cafe about 1/2 block away, south side of Market St), and sure as heck, right after gori passes some non-interesting, but fairly Sri LKS-type Southie in the intersection, who is too short/grouchy/oblivious-looking to qualify (but with good hair) lol, she suddenly sees a vertiable vision of Sri LKS-ness, some strange yaar standing FACING THE CLOSED NEWS KIOSK AT THE SE CORNER OF MKT & 4TH, na? Gori is checking his face from the side quickly to see- desi? check. kala (dark)? check. lumba (tall)? check, bahut kala (very dark)? check.. garam.. bahut garam (really hot)? check!!! Then she rubbernecks to see the other side of his face. Yeh yaar, she realizes later, seems *awfully* familiar in some weird, intangible, but incredibly sexy sort of way- something about his neck, his back, his sexy butt in his jeans lol.
Strange thing is, he’s facing the stupid news kiosk (the same one I mention below that I thought then was just an ad kiosk- the green ‘let’s yuppify this city’ abominations that are the same design as the herion-addict toilets na?) which is CLOSED ok? Why the heck would someone just face a blank (curved, with stupid raised circles design) wall like that? Gori puzzles at it, has about 3 steps while passing his back side lol (big steps, she’s wearing her favorite huge platform sandals lol) to contemplate whether to talk to him or not. Ladka (‘boy’ or ‘guy’ English mein na?) seems to be possibly clocking her out of the corner of his eye. Especially after she’s been turning to look at his face from both sides (as subtlely as possible, plus I was in a crowd of ppl tik? so not sure if he actually saw gori or not).. anyhow, gori decides in a split-second to keep walking like nothing happened, since yaar might possibly be eyeing her & might follow her.
Of course that later seems like a miscalculation. But maybe not. So anyhow, as soon as gori gets to the cafe, to the spot where you have to turn to walk between the tables on the sidewalk to go inside, she can’t stand the suspense anymore & looks back. Yeh yaar is still standing in front of the kiosk, staring at nothing lol. She forces herself to go inside & get something to sit down with, furiously calculating in her head what to do/say to the new-found apparition.
As soon as she comes outside, the only table available is at the back, as it’s an ‘Indian summer’ (no pun intended lol) uncharacteristically warm, sunny, shining sort of day so everyone is seated outside. She can’t stand it any longer, she stands up from her table & walks forward to peek down the sidewalk towards the corner, thinking ‘if he’s still there, I’ll just get my things & go talk to him.’ JUST LIKE A BOLLYWOOD, uh TOLLYWOOD FILIM YAARS, she peeks past the neighboring large building which otherwise blocks the view in that direction, only to find that the *very second* she spies him, he is swaying awkwardly, arms outspread, in the same spot but facing towards the corner, his back to gori. Split second thought of disappointment: he’s some crazy person?? That’s why he was staring at nothing earlier?? This thought is interrupted as his swagger is met by a humorous laugh & big hug (which in itself is quite atypical na? see below) of a male friend (hmm) of similar look/coloring, but shorter, slightly balding & wearing ek green shirt, gori notices. ‘Ugg’, she thinks. ‘He’s meeting some friend. Well, at least I didn’t make an idiot out of myself trying to get his attention when obviously he was waiting for someone to meet him’ -is the only gori thought.
Meantime, some Nepali-looking ladka is talking to yeh Amrikan kala ladka (aka a black guy lol) in front of gori & to her right (she’s back at the table, assuming the opportunity is lost, furiously writing notes as to what this very prime 😉 Sri LKS is wearing etc.. for her blog).. yeh kala yaar leaves, leaving yeh desi-ish yaar sitting by himself, with big shopping bags, at a chair stuck between tables. Gori uses the opportunity to ask if it’s ok with him if she occupies the table his friend just left, he seems fine with that. As soon as she moves forward, it’s obvious after much visual searching of the corner/kiosk area that Sri LKS is gone. Yeh, um I mean the Nepalish yaar soon leaves, carrying (sadly) Abercrombie & Fitch plus Amrikan Outfitters bags. (Notice gay symbolism in this story so far lol)… that dude has medium length wavy hair & is wearing a pretty deep purple colored shirt.
Gori is alone, but not for long 😛 She begins to see a few fairly interesting yaar, to contrast the dearth of anything yummy up until the moment of what now appears to be the *actual* Sri LKS sighting (lol of happiness) 😀 🙂 😀 She is taking notes about some cute thoda mota (aka ‘pudgy’) sort of cappucino-colored desi walking by, talking animatedly on his cell phone, when she realizes (without looking up from her book really) there is someone watching her. A careful disinterested-seeming glance reveals it’s some yaar eyeing gori, facing her from across the sidewalk, motionless. She is unsure of him- he’s not very good looking, too Northie, vibe seems gay (the latter of which is both a given lol for the majority of desi ladkay, plus a very welcome thing in terms of the type of desis goris has formed valuable connections to in the past), yet Sri LKS, he’s definitely not. He hovers, seeming awfully curious. He steps forward, crossing the now-influx of persons leaving work & headed towards Muni, to step right up to gori, who quickly looks down to her book to try to discourage him. He cleverly seems to stop himself from trying to engage her in conversation mid-forward movement, & instead plants himself at the lone chair directly at gori’s right yeh Nepal yaar has just left. He does NOT even pretend to want to get something to eat/drink from the cafe (obviously de rigeur if ur not a homeless person & want to sit down there) & proceeds to spend the rest of the time until gori leaves either nervously fiddling with the seam on his two-tone blue large bag (now on his lap) or pretending to *not* be looking at/vibing gori in the following way: gori looks up & to the right (where he is just slightly behind her)- he immediately looks away from her, & the same direction she is looking, down the street. Gori looks to the left, she can feel him staring at the back of her head. Repeat. Endlessly. Arrg!!!! This becomes irritating really fast.
Gori is psychic na? What goes through her head after about 10mins of this is ‘I’m about to make a friend’- simple enough idea, she figures fine, if yaar is too shy to speak (yet presumably is a blog reader or ??) then what the heck, gori can always use to have more friends, right? But of course EVERY time she tries to glance back, at least to make eye contact, silly yaar suddenly shifts his look away from her in that ‘I’m NOT looking’game. Ugg! Gori is annoyed & resumes writing notes.. 3 desis go by.. one is bahut garam wearing a grey hoodie with a striped hood lining & jeans.. she duly notes the time (5:25 pm) & that his friends are a Southie (or else a black guy, could have been either) wearing a blue shirt and ek desi in a suit, obviously done with work for the day, given the degree of deliberate dishevelment of said suit lol.. they are talking animatedly while headed East (possibly with one of them pushing a bike, else someone near them was doing same). Before gori can completely note this (& all the while she is thinking what to do to start a convo with the other yaar so he stops looking at the back of her head lol!) she suddenly looks up. Seemingly for no reason. You guessed it.
Yeh Sri LKS in the flesh (swoon) & dost (‘friend’, ok?) are walking by, right in front of the cafe, headed East, at close range to gori’s table. It is now 5:30pm. Gori is now able to finally see Sri LKS up close.. besides being incredibly lovely, he is not just wearing the black shirt she noticed earlier, but some long-sleeved form-fitting black tee with foil design on front (not unlike the cheesy retro-80s designer threads of SRK’s character in KANK lol) 🙂 He has on jeans, the WIGGLY HAIR GORI IS ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT- except it’s cut somewhat short, & sort of slicked back. He is (swoon again) basically about as dark in skin color as his shirt/hair, even though it’s a very bright, sunny day 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 This is what gori means by bahut kala yaar! YUM 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 Anyhow.. His friend is wearing a sort of forest green top with jeans. Sri LKS is stunning. Gori later realizes even though she looked right at him, she is not totally sure that he had a clipped beard? Or goatee? lol.. He is also talking to yeh dost.. um, his friend. So there’s no way to get his attention or anything. Gori sits & scribbles a few notes, then realizes what she has to do.
With a mental apology to the lurker yaar she was about to make friends with, she suddenly jumps up from her table, trademark big silver tote bag in hand, & sprints away, thankful for the comfy but very tall heels she is wearing, which might give her a small chance of catching the uber-tall & therefore fast-walking Sri LKS, who is already about 1/3 of a Mkt St block away. Even more like ek Tolly/Bolly filim.. she walks as fast as possible, yet can’t seem to catch them. She starts praying to every Hindu god/entity she can think of, while trying not to trip & yet to gain speed on them somehow. Soon everything starts to blur- time has stopped, all she can hear (this literally happened this way na? not making stuff up lol) is thump-thump… thump-thump.. of her heart- all the traffic, all the noise, everything stops.
She is finally passing, in VERY slow motion, some boarded up store on the right, & realizes she has been following Sri LKS & friend almost all the way to Montgomery Station lol. At this moment, they reach a red light. She realizes she is gaining on them. Now she starts to pray again, anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach: what do I do when I catch him? Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesh, St Expedite (lol) anyone? What the F*CK do I do when I catch him? lol.
Time stopped. It really f*cking did. I swear it. Gori sees herself in VERY slow motion, suddenly behind him & his buddy, of whatever sort 😛 They have stopped talking & are waiting at the traffic light. There is just enough room for her to squeeze between them as if she doesn’t see them & stand in front of them to cross the street. Sri LKS friend seems to sense this somehow, & steps one step to the right, in order to close the person & a half-wide gap between them slightly. Gori is closing in, & is now in range to see (again) the back of Sri LKS’s neck. He is wearing some kind of silver(?) beaded(?) necklace.. the metal (or whatever it was) against his kala kala skin is SO enticing, she imagines herself touching his neck. He has the familiarity in his aura of a lover, someone she would just walk up to & kiss on the back of his sexy kala neck. For a split second, although it seemed like 10 minutes, she almost raises her hand to touch him there playfully, but realizes ‘I don’t know him yet’, which seems confusing to her. In the last split second she veers from the friend closing the gap, so to speak, to just *almost* (very deliberately lol) but *not quite* brush against his shoulder while passing him on the right, to stand (thankfully in heels, a short skirt lol & a shirt that shows off gori’s assets lol.. thank the gods for a good outfit yesterday lmao!) in front of & slightly below him, on the street, waiting to cross. She senses him rivet his attention onto her, as in ‘who is that?’ Possibly curiosity or just being startled by her sudden appearance at close range.
The signal changes, she begins to cross the street, very cleverly looking as if she has no clue he & his friend are walking directly abreast of her, to the left. She looks up & to the right at a building, and they begin to speak again after silence. Of course, in actuality, gori is furiously attempting to decide what to say. The entire time she was following them, she believed they would at any second go into some building, or store, where she could not follow or it would be too awkward to do so, she was only hoping for a clue of this person’s usual whereabouts, in order to meet him again somehow. Of course, a bird in the hand… but what do you actually do once you’ve caught it?
Gori realizes she only has split-seconds to say *something*, anything. She pretends to first notice them once they begin speaking to one another at her side (this is where I f*cked up big time mehri Southie & Southie-friendly/culturally knowledgable friends, & NEED ADVICE ASAP as per below! eek). This is how the brief convo goes:
gori (looking towards them as if she suddenly notices they are there): ‘Hey, are you guys speaking Tamil?’ (note: which she pronounces correctly as ‘tam-IHL’ not ‘tah-mul’ like ulloo Amrikans tend to say it)
Sri LKS (staring at her warily, little expression on face): ‘No.’
gori (very surprised- normally she is universally met with bemused curiosity by desis trying to figure out how she knows much of anything, much less almost everything, about desis/India, but managing to ignore his reaction by keeping a facade of friendly casual interest): ‘Oh, are you speaking Mal… (ayalam, Telugu, Kannada?’.. was about to trip off my tongue, all pronounced correctly- figuring this stunning Sri LKS would then latch onto gori’s pick-up shtick lol)
Sri LKS: ‘Telugu, we’re speaking Telugu.’ Totally serious, expressionless face.
gori (slightly, deliberately interrupting, as if it’s just something casual being said): ‘Oh, just wondering because my ex-boyfriend..’ (sh1t! Sh1t!!! Gori KNOWS she shouldn’t have said that.. gori Amrikan hai.. I mean, I’m from the US, so I didn’t think before I spoke lol, but needed a short-hand way to show that gori is interested in desis, otherwise they NEVER get the clue, typically) ‘..started to teach me Tamil ..’ (by now LKS friend is leaning forward to look at gori more directly, since we’re all still walking abreast, while showing the bemused & sympathetic smile that gori is used to seeing from desi guys, LKS friend looks like he wants to interrupt & say something laughingly in agreement, but politely doesn’t) ‘..but since then I’ve been trying to find someone to teach me Tamil.’ (pause) ‘Guess there’s alot more Telugu speakers than Tamil though, huh?’ (still trying desperately to start a convo & figure out my lovely apparition’s name)
Sri LKS (with LKS friend nodding in agreement): ‘Yes, there are.’ Still showing no sign of emotion whatsoever.
gori (suddenly realizing the only hope she now has is to pull the desi chick-esque ‘I wasn’t interested in you to begin with’ type of attitude- so NOT gori), but still with a friendly smile: ‘Oh, that’s cool, it was worth a try at least.’
..to which Sri LKS replies almost speaking at the same time as gori with his f*cking sexy voice, something like: ‘Yes, worth a try, of course.’
gori (managing to inadvertently speak over him, as if in a hurry): ‘Well, have a nice day guys.’
She then manages (perhaps out of sheer terror/embarrassment) to walk off faster than them, being sure to walk in front of them a little ways, so he can get a good look at her long bare curvyji lol legs in a short skirt & tall aforementioned heels if he happens to be interested. She then heads towards the nearest emergency embarrassment exit, the Muni underground, except she decides at the last minute to at least try to have a covert look at where they are f’ing headed to in the first place.
She stops near the Muni entrance, as if her cell is ringing, proceeds to stand to the side (over by the street, back to them) & call a friend while innumerable people pass by. Eventually (while actually frantically leaving a message for gori’s gori friend WELL out of earshot)- she sees them get to the corner, still headed East. Gori walks around the outside of the Muni entrance (narrow curb’s worth of space between wall & cars in street) to the intersection (they are now to her right, facing East & waiting to cross, she is facing North, & pretending to have forgotten them all together.)
They are stuck waiting, she crosses (of course once at the intersection, she is simply leaving a message asking her friend about her ongoing job promotion drama, in case anyone is listening lol).. she crosses the street & heads back West, figuring they won’t know the difference unless they decide to turn around & watch where she is headed, which of course would indicate some interest, lol.
I really only vaguely remember how I got back to the cafe. How I was calling an estranged desi dost & leaving a message (that was so rushed & garbled I had to re-record it) asking him to not only get back in my life -that I needed friends at this moment- especially from someone who’s listened patiently to the Sri LKS saga for about 2 yrs, since the break-up with the MIM, yet his own interest in me (well, mutual interest except the small problem he happens to be unhappily *married*) eventually tore our friendship apart. But also asking him no matter how he doesn’t really believe in the Hindu pantheon of gods, nor his own converted Catholicism ‘God’, to just pray & pray for me right now, that I would be able to meet this real live Sri LKS again, that then we could at least become dostay again na? Gori would happily be with her long-anticipated Sri LKS finally, and therefore off limits to the temptation that married dost had partially succumbed to, only to break things off like a child who throws sand in another kids face, then runs away & hides, for fear of reprisal.
Gori knows she passed the same friendly suddenly-seated desi from the cafe earlier, who was casually leaning against a pole on Mkt, on the same side of the street as the cafe (where gori crossed back over on the street again is anyone’s guess), doing the same ‘I’m suddenly looking away’ when she looked him in the eye to get a good look at his face. She wondered- did he follow her? As she was following Sri LKS? lol 😛 She suddenly felt pity for him, & yet was so numbed there was no way to express anything, not in mid-emotional sentence to married dost’s work voicemail, not in complete happy shock at finally seeing the real Sri LKS in the flesh, not with his not-winning habit of being afraid to make any eye contact whatsoever.
Finally gori somehow found herself outbound on the Muni underground to Castro. Somehow ek thodi moti lekin good-looking desi yaar was next to gori, standing, clutching what appeared to be a new HP laptop still in the box. The irony (or symbolism) of the pink polo shirt with added pink chest stripe (lmao) he was wearing was not lost on gori, nor the fact that he seemed oblivious to the color, lol. Gori, during this period of numbness, managed twice to do some diyan work… to send out a Cupid’s arrow to the very heart of this Sri LKS, well more like a harpoon lmao, which she happily felt him return in kind, with a smile, the second time she tried it, standing at the back of a Muni train, peeking out the back window, watching the train far behind in the tunnel racing to catch us, the Sri LKS train, in order to block out the vibes of the friendly gulab-shirted desi so eager to speak to her. She wanted to apologize that she could only say a few words when he tried to make conversation as she was frantically lifting her cell towards the top of a window of the train, while stuck at Church Station, one stop from her destination, still trying in emotional desperation to reach her gori friend. His gratuitous kindness to a small girl who got on the train before it finally moved again & lost her balance was humorous, & somehow seemed for gori’s benefit, to say the least. His obvious *notice* of her leaving the train at Castro (& her much more subtle one of his NOT) was equally telling.
The rest is a blur- scarfing down a much-needed Thai food meal at her favorite restaurant while overlooking the Castro & talking to or voicemailing friends, finally reaching the gori dost & blurting out the whole story (while annoyed fag couples looked on lol), while the familiar wait staff still said out loud ‘More water?’ and ‘Are you finished?’ and so forth in the background.
The mota desi on the way home on BART that gori was at first unable to identify as either desi or Latino, either geekily, overtly trying to impress gori or the equally curvy, bara choochay latina chick next to gori- he was unwelcome. If only his badge on the pants of his fat pelvis he kept unwantedly thrusting their direction at eye level would flip over, she would have known if he was desi or not by his name. His excited look of notice when gori also disembarked at the same station behind him was telling.
Gori remembers speaking to the full moon while walking home, the Goddess of her own religion, praying for help, and friendly spirit guides putting friendly hands around her in order to guide her home without collapsing in shock on the sidewalk. She remembers dizzily recording her audio-diary on her iPod, knees too weak to stand, then almost passing out while trying to do a diyan spell of thanks, after barely getting up from bed for hours. And feeling mute, utterly unable to write this blog, despite the drastic need to find this person immediately.
So there’s ek diwana suchna na (a crazy story, isn’t it)? HERE IS WHAT I DESPERATELY NEED ADVICE ON FROM SOUTHIE-TYPE CULTURALLY COGNIZANT FOLKS:
1) WTF with Sri LKS’s attitude? To gori, especially because she thinks of yeh Tamil villager ex-BF, she thinks him acting weird/disinterested (hopefully?) is one of those situations where the guy doesn’t show *anything*, but for example, if you knew him better, would eventually break into a smile he was trying to hide, later in the conversation.
2) Or was he surprised/taken aback by some crazy-looking gori suddenly being so bold as to ask questions? Was he IYHOs hiding interest or annoyed or surprised or ??
3) Or he is gay? Besides all the symbolism of the story (notice also that to gori, the subsequent desi yaaron showing pretty overt interest- guy from cafe seen later on Market, desis in Muni & BART etc.. means, on an energy level- that the energy turned *towards* gori once she saw him, & therefore could indicate interest on his part symbolically), but certainly MANY other factors (including Sri LKS’s perfectly built/groomed/dressed self) could point otherwise. Please remember gori is bisexual, hangs out with gay ppl, & is ideally seeking ek bi bhi (also a bisexual) Sri LKS. Gori has been told by other psychics that Sri LKS will have a best friend, who identifies as gay, who is either a past lover or closeted lover, while Sri LKS himself is possibly recently divorced, but identifies as straight, basically. Gori will probably be very close friends with gay best friend guy supposedly (gori loves gay boyz na?) later on, possibly even to Sri LKS’s chagrin. So the appearance of the friend in this situation seemed to just underscore the possibility of that theory being true, in gori’s mind.
4) Basically- WTF do I make of his reaction from a Southie/Telugu POV? I know I f*cked up in what I said, what do I do if I’m able to find him again? How to act -totally disinterested? friendly? kuch bhi (something else?) Also, gori’s tarot cards say lol that Sri LKS is ‘disappointed’ & thinks gori is ‘a flattering mischief maker’- WTF? Disappointed like gori is ugly? Like he thinks from convo she only likes Tamil yaar? Flattering? How? gori is very confused by this, but got the same response from the divination repeatedly last nite.. hmm.
5) If anyone knows who this person is, I will absolutely work myself to death trying to make accha jadoo (or whatever you want to call the opposite of buri nizer lol) for any wish of your choice (want to be a millionaire? screw some celebrity? anything! well, almost anything.. lmao) in return for knowing this person’s identity. But PLEASE!!!! don’t tell him, whatever you do. My guess is out of the 1200+ hits I got in the whole 10 days this blog has been alive 😉 it can’t be more than like 300-400 CL reading ladkay etc.. checking it out. So what are the chances he will see it? Basically NONE unless someone tells him, since the chances one of you knows who this guy is, are much much greater.
If you are really shy, just post a comment with the word ‘kutti’ (lmao) at the top. The filter will catch it (so no one will see it except gori), but you can give me your email that way, if you are a person with info on my Sri LKS ji yaar 😀 U can try responding to the CL post that likely got u here in the first place, but the chances of the MIM hack3r stealing the email are very high, unfortunately.
6) I thank you all, whoever has had the patience to read this & comment on this page (below) or the accha/bura (good/bad) comments pages with anything genuine in terms of opinions or help. Gori is weak from re-living this whole thing via writing it out lol & needs to rest. Phew. A brush with destiny only 10 days after starting this blog. Wow, if someone out there is seeing this & is praying for gori or doing accha jadoo lmao or telling their guru to help me or kuch bhi- well shukria bahut bahut ji, whomever you might be 🙂
Back to the regularly scheduled rest of the page, which will be reorganized soon! 😀
b)Desi(?) runner guy Golden Gate Park mein… OMFG gori has seen this guy either ek or do YEARS ago (can’t remember which ex-sanam’s gari/gaadi kuch bhi was being driven at the time lmao), then again ek month or so ago.. Well, yeh yaar is lumba (=tall, tik Southies & other non-Hinglish comprehending peeps?) aur not kala enough for gori really, lekin this yaar can *run*. We’re not talking jog, but he must be a professional runner or something. He starts from some unknown gari/gaadi (HTF do you spell ‘car’ transliterated Devanagari se? Gori always put ‘gari’ til some supposed dost- who since disappeared- ahem- said to use ‘gaadi’ kuch bhi)… anyhow he starts from some car? or runs into the park from the Panhandle or ??? Yeh yaar then runs totally diwana fast all the way through the park, gori thinks until at least that ugly fake Disney concrete dirty waterfall thing (we’re talking JFK drive yaaron) & the bridge after it, or maybe even as far as the weird fake lake full of seagulls before you go past that ‘yacht club’ building, before the road past the buffalo.. gori ‘los bahut pyar karti hoon 😀 ‘Los make gori’s day (um we’re talking Amrikan Bison na? Nahin water ‘los, lol)..
Back to story… gori has literally tried to chase yeh running yaar on her scooter (as in Razor, push scooter na?) before, lekin this dude can hellof outrun even that (I have tricked-out racing wheels on voh cheez na? gori is faster than bikes on it!) Sirf way to follow him is in gari/gaadi… Of course u’d think he’d notice some diwani gori bal hara ko (ki? ka? kuch bhi lol) blasting Bollywood, singing along with the windows open, continually passing him in a Mini Cooper na? Seems too busy listening to his iPod to have a clue. He needs sideburns that are less retro/’mutton chop’ na? Kind of heavy features for gori’s taste.. tum Hindustani hai na? or maybe not phir.. gori is very curious- tum kaun ho? 😉
c) Hmm these get a little more interesting.. tik.. I’ve lost the date but it was sometime around the first post on this blog, maybe late September (oh no! yeh ulloo ‘September madham’ Tollywood song is suddenly going through gori’s head.. lol).. tik gori was leaving yeh St Francis Hotel Union Square mein na? Gori psychic hai btw.. really! lol 😛
So anyhow, gori gets the psychic ‘message’ that there is some desi around, watching her. ‘Cept no desi seems to be nearby, until… gori goes out the door of the hotel (to the right, to get on the Cable Car na?).. & almost runs smack into skinny lumba kala St Francis Hotel yaar who sort of dodges running into gori, then proceeds to walk up the sidewalk, directly across from her, lekin on the side by the hotel, whereas gori is walking up to yeh cable car stupid little brown sign near the curb. Well, yeh ladka seems ok during the 10 seconds or so it takes gori to get to the curb, then after he continues a couple of paces, he suddenly realizes yeh gori he’s not so sneakily tailing isn’t there anymore 😛 He stops, turns around & STARES at gori (lol! was it the short denim skirt with platform sandals aur usual low cut top I was wearing? lmao!), looks utterly confused, then starts to cross the street towards the architectural abomination that is now the ruined, metlab ‘renovated’ (yuck) Square, aka park, itself.
Gori thinks to herself ‘sh1t, he’s going to disappear’ (in other words, he seems to be headed up the sidewalk towards the entrance to the parking garage across from Macy*s lol), but instead, he turns left, walks along the wall at the edge of Union Square (the park part lol) on the opposite side of the street from gori, leans/sits against the wall & then STARES at her from across the street.
Normally at this point gori, being unable to deal with the suspense any longer, would cross the st, walk up to the dude, & say ‘Kya hal hai bhai?’ or something similar & utterly freak him out lol! 😛 However, some other freaky-looking (much shorter than gori, with lal dreadlocks) gori appears out of nowhere & starts trying to have yeh convo gori ko about their respective hair-dos, then the cable car appears so gori disappears. Forever left to wonder who TF that desi was?
He was wearing a sort of too-FOB Madrasi plaid shirt, hella HELLA skinny (like in gori’s first significant Sri LKS sapna, of which there have been 2 so far but I digress), bahut lumba aur kala, lekin with short hair cut in a sort of funny wedge in the back lol 😛 (We think Sri Lumba Kala Sundar would have long wiggly hair of course, but u never know how alot of you boyz bal would look grown out na?) Who TF is this guy? 😛 Major bonus points if anyone knows..
d) Interesting Sri LKS-type yaar in front of Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Cafe, Market St downtown.. Tik this was perhaps a week or so after the guy above, sometime probably early October.. tik yeh yaar made himself HELL obvious na? He first passes gori, sitting in her customary spot outside (this is near ugly PoMo Four Seasons hell yuppie ‘residence suites’ across from yummy flat iron bldg downtown na?)..
I digress perpetually lol.. so gori is sitting outside this cafe, at table facing sidewalk directly. Yeh Sri LKS-type yaar zooms by, from left to right (going east lol).. gori thinks, ‘Hmm.. could be him… but oh well, he’s gone..’ A minute later, yeh same desi zooms by again, going right to left (west), carrying some food… looks like he darted into that weird PoMo alley cheez that goes towards the Yerba Buena (can’t think of any nice noun to use… btw gori LOVES historic architecture, HATES PoMo/developer everything na? hence all the hate references to recently-built everything SF mein na?)… anyhow, the alley to gori’s right heading south between buildings towards the even bigger abomination of a ‘park’, ugg… you know, where the ‘Amber India Restaurant’ sign has been FOREVER, ‘cept no restaurant seems to be forthcoming? Ha ji.. so he comes from that direction with food, going equally fast, wrapping around the tables of the cafe, to head west as I said.
Gori thinks to herself again, ‘Ugg, missed him again.’ Thinks to her trusty spirit guides (told you gori is psychic, na?) ‘Should I follow him?’ but gets this message, ‘Stay put, he’ll come to you.’ This is the annoying msg gori is ALWAYS getting lately from her ‘guides’ about potential Sri LKSes 😦 We all know desi yaar are basically freaked out/threatened by women who approach them, erroneously thinking with their Victorian-era British oppressor-inherited morals that any female (much less ek gori, who has no hope whatsoever of having any sort of respectability in ek desi’s mind na? which is a WHOLE nother page on feminism vs endemic desi spousal abuse, but I digress again)… anyhow, no ladki can actually talk to yeh pardesi ladka without being ‘loose’ or ‘diwani’ na? But of course gori isn’t used to this backasswards BS drama 😉 so… still, she respects her spirit guides at least, if not desi yaar anymore, so she stays put.
To her surprise, yeh yaar is actually eating calzone-type cheez at edge of building right near gori’s table, slightly out of view to her left (ek bank ATM or similar cheez). Yeh desi proceeds to make cell call, then VERY OBVIOUSLY lol passes gori again (gori is on phone this whole time na? Probably yeh desi heard gori speaking Hinglish while leaving msgs for dostay while he passes by 1st time is the theory, this usually causes yeh desi to get BAHUT curious about gori na?).. so he walks by holding cigarette (this is now 3rd trip past gori lol). Ladka proceeds to stand leaning against yeh ad kiosk next to bus stop on Mkt to gori’s right. Gori is thinking, ‘Oh, he is just waiting for yeh bus’ except instead he comes (from some distance) walking BACK by gori, taking pains to walk close to her table (only to hear her speaking Angrezi with Amrikan dost on phone now), going right to left for a 4th time. Gori thinks she will grab her things & follow him, but doesn’t actually leave the cafe for 10 mins, after which he is long gone.
Lumba, can’t remember if kala or not (maybe medium-brown, like a good cappuccino, maybe darker) 😉 wearing ek black leather jacket aur I think (it’s been a few weeks) jeans with (dead give away!) yeh quite worn ‘retro’ shoes that look like the old Florsheim shoes/boots (like that photo except more patchwork/70s looking, uh, I think..) No one wears those with jeans except out of date metrosexuals & desi yaar lol 😛 Gori thinks(?) he was wearing ek baseball cap.. she can’t remember but there was something sort of obscuring his face (shadow from cap? sunglasses?) that made it hard to tell for sure he was desi… but she assumes so, from the dress, curiosity & vibes lol.. SOOOO curious.. tum kaun ho??
PS.. I remembered- I think this yaar was wearing a wedding ring?!? 😦 You’d better be recently divorced na? Gori rundi nahin hai na? Skuhriya.. lol 😛
e) Ooh ooh! I almost forgot- this one was a personal favorite. Yeh lakda Macy*s Union Square post office mein! Tum bahut garam na? 😀 Yum. Tik this happened um.. I dunno maybe 2 weeks ago? Definitely sometime October, I think 😛 I will keep better notes in the future lekin.. this desi was leaving the post office as I came up to the line. If you’ve ever been to the super-secret Macy’s post office, you’ll know that it’s almost impossible to find, tucked back behind the kitchenwares dep’t. & such. The line is often so long ur left standing IN the kitchenwares dept, abi metlab sub is forced to listen to this uber-annoying recording of some ad on a TV screen for yeh useless ‘steamer’ that is really just a regular clothes iron.. repeating every 30 seconds, in an endless loop 😦
We all know how long the post office line takes, so it’s like torture to hear that f’ing ad over & over so.. anyhow gori gets pretty bored/irritable doing this usually, no wonder na? Enter yum-yaar, exiting post office quickly from the left. Ek, he wasn’t Sri LKS imho because he was too light-skinned (remember gori pyar bahut yeh kala kala Tamilian or other yummy *dark* desis) 😀 & he wasn’t necessarily that tall, nor did he have long hair BUT… gori was still impressed that he (although zinging by with that typical desi ‘I’m checking you out not-so-covertly out of the corner of my eye but *you can’t see me* (lmao) look- the same one mehri do billiyan give when they think they are sneaking up by looking at you with only 1/2 of their heads through the doorway na?) .. anyhow he actually very quickly stopped after passing gori (lol) at the kiosk of whatever stupid kitchenwares was directly behind the line -now ending a few peeps after gori- & pretended to be looking at whatever Wolfgang Puck panini press or KitchenAid toaster lol or kuch bhi.. gori of course turned around to see who is this garam desi.. he (so funny!) was looking at her, suddenly looked down when she looked, & did that cute ‘I’m sort of blushing but hiding it from you’ cheez lols 😛 lols!
So this continued for some minutes- gori looking at him (I had to turn completely around in the line, was it obvious enough Mr. Shy? lol)- he waiting & waiting for ?? At first I just expected that Srimati is going to come out of post office & meet him (this happened once, gori saw sexy desi while leaving PO, she was making eyes at him while waiting for ulloo desi soon-to-be ex-BF to be finished with something, then desi’s (who was also making eyes at gori na?!) biwi appeared & they left!) lol 😛
But I digress.. so this guy basically stood there for a LONG time, we maybe had 3 or 4 of these ‘I’m staring at gori’s backside, now she turns around so I very obviously suddenly look DOWN & play around with the same Le Creuset tangine or whatever that I’m not even looking at, then sort of smile back at her & stare again til she turns back again’ etc.. Here’s the intriguing part (for gori at least)- yaar was psychic (ek diyan? lol) or something because gori could sort of hear his thoughts- this isn’t that weird for me BTW, I can do this sometimes anyhow lekin.. it was like he was saying ‘look back here’ which is why gori turned to look the first time, & the subsequent times etc.. Let’s just say either this person (in gori’s mind) is quite spiritually in tune (a HUGE plus for Sri LKS hint hint all u aspiring sadhujis lol) or he can at least project his thoughts much better than most. At any rate, it was quite awkward for gori to get out of the line (if I wasn’t carrying so many boxes I would have lol) & go talk to him. The line took forever, he was gone later (even walked through the food court looking lol)..
Tum kaun ho bhai saheb? He was wearing sort of dressed-up looking clothes, maybe a suit coat (at least what he was wearing on top was dark-colored), average height (well, gori is 5’6″ so ‘average’ is like taller than gori in low heels lol.. maybe 5’8″ to 5’11” lol…) Help me out on these, please! 😀
f) Today, Monday 10/22, was basically lukewarm desi sightings day na? nahin garam really.. tik first of all the GROSS desi lurker in the food court of Macy’s who tried to deliberately pass gori near the bathroom needs to read gori’s old CL posts: NO BARA UNCLES! ewwwww…
Secondly, wow I haven’t felt this visible to desi bhai since, well, since the last desi BF (I love how I’m only visible socially speaking to other desis when I’m *with* one, which is sort of self-defeating, na? lol.. Ek desi BF does the wonderful double-duty of scaring away yeh disgusting goron, who invariably think mehri desi BFs Latino/Arab hain (Northies) or kala brotha’ hain (Southies) lmao.. yeh goron know any brown or black dude can beat the crap out of them, plus probably has ek bahut bara/yummier lund so.. they run away lmao!) No one seems to stop to even figure out that ek ladki going say, to yeh cool Third I South Asian filim fest, or like 3 other filim fests/year watching basically every independent (aur SRK Bollywood :D) filim ever made, might UH OH MAYBE DUH?!? have something to do with Indian community na yaarjis? 😉 sigh…
But I digress… so it’s pretty funny, the few of you I could swear were about to put ur hands alongside ur faces today like ‘oh shit, oh no, you *don’t* see me strange gori ladki’ lmao 😛 – as if I’m suddenly another desi na? tee hee.. ek yaar who got a massive ‘deer in the headlights’ look who stands out in gori’s mind was bahut lumba but ‘wheatish’ (stupid term na?)- either Northie or Arab descent.. in a suit & hello- balding! So you don’t have to worry about tehra biwi seeing this, ulloo suit yaar who passed gori in front of Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Cafe earlier today lmao… sigh.
There were a bunch of minor yums aaj- yeh yaar who appeared out of nowhere, lumba aur sort of bara, wearing below-knee length jeans with all these fancy patch pockets, aur I think this was the one also with the striped shirt with floral pattern in the stripes (maybe? else it was peela in the stripes na?) who peeled onto Mkt St next to gori, out of nowhere, lekin he was walking so fast gori couldn’t catch him.. WTF up with the desi leaning against the ad kiosk right as you cross the intersection going past Old Navy on the right, before the cafe metioned above (going East on Market)? I swear the dude looked like he was ready to lunge at gori when he saw her.. hopefully I was imagining things na? Speaking of which, be sure to see the addition on the roach coach desi(? or not) lol entry below.. tee hee..
Mehri nominees for garam desi bhai for today (Monday Oct 22nd, Union Square/Powell Station area/Mkt St): yeh *garam* but boring/clean cut desi near intersection with yummy green Art Deco building (Zig Zag Deco if you must know lol) under construction 😦 (in process of becoming the new ‘Skechers’- I do love their shoes but despise the gratuitous building gutting) near the back of Macy’s, approx Powell/O’Farrell, approx 5:30-5:45pm. Gori was too busy noticing total FOB Southie yaar, replete with moustache lol, to see this yaar right behind him coming towards gori on sidewalk, until it was too late.
Garam yaar (short hair, sexy & nice in-shape body, probably not really tall enough/dark enough to be Sri LKS, sort of generic desi looking (oxymoron in Bay Area lately na?) ..but gori’s getting pretty darn bored here & thinking about some major desi ladkay time pass pretty soon if Sri LKS doesn’t show up na? lol…) Anyhow, yeh yaar was suddenly right in front of gori (behind mustache dude, who was not unlike SRK in Paheli, except geekier/bahut kala/without turban lol)… & there was no time to react. PLUS yaar was with some moti gori.. of course yeh gori ‘curvyji’ hai na? Nahin moti hoon lmao.. *other* goris moti hai sirf lols 😛 (kidding).. lekin he was with some fat gori kutti aur some other guy (desi? kala? Asian dude?) gori didn’t even have time to see, but the funny thing was this desi reacted like ‘whoa!’- like he was scared or something when he saw gori 😛 Maybe cause gori has bal bahut diwani aur it’s close to Halloween & he was surprised? Or maybe he reads CL lol 😛 That would at least be ek accha time-pass yaar, if you ask gori 😉 Hopefully yeh other gori was just some co-worker na? 😉
g) Second accha desi sighting today was sort of funny- yeh yaar who seriously looked like the same guy as the desi with the funny pants on Market earlier, was coming past gori going the other direction, now in business clothes lol 😛 (Gori was sitting at cafe mentioned above by now).. He was eyeing gori, gori started eyeing guy in front of him instead, bahut masti kala skinny guy with backpack with lal/red trim… who wasn’t as lumba as Sri LKS either, but something about this yaar was YUM. He was wearing a light-colored shirt (I think grey), black pants & brown shoes (sirf desis, hai na? *Black* shoes with black pants na? lols).. He had a big backpack that had lal somewhere on the trim on the back. Pointy sort of features, yummily kala.. 😀 I bet this one is really hot in bed. I just sense it, being yeh psychic diyan gori n all 😉
This was around 6pm, he was passing by the Coffee Bean Cafe on Mkt going west, this would have been right before the guy playing bagpipes 🙂 (I think he had started playing by then) on ur left near one of the Muni underground entrances, yeh sexy yaar, if you see this lol… The rest of you were ok, some were even yummy, but those were the 2 gori really wanted to grab & steal 😀 today.. oops also there was ek desi (looked more like Nepali or ??) who looked SO much like gori’s Sri LKS except he was too small, hair in ponytail was straight, not wiggly.
Oh plus yeh Tamil FOB yaar wearing boring kala ‘slacks’ lmao plus lovely, perfectly-pressed bright indigo dress shirt… gori wants to re-dress you, like ek Bratz doll or something lol. Ur another example of someone who would look lovely in different clothes, but most of all, with HAIR GEL lmao 😛 Nahin Chennai hai na ji? Whatup with the freestyle curls.. that & ur bubble butt in the silly pants, u look like mehri Tamil ex-sanam, who shall ever after be known as ‘Agasthi the Mini Cooper deposit thief’. U ladkay r bahut accha bed mein though… mmmm… gori could use a little hot chocolate right now lmao… I digress. tee hee 😛 Tik I’m le tired… so more on yeh desi yaar sightings later. There are at least a few per trip downtown & elsewhere usually, those are some of the more significant ones that stick in gori’s mind right now.
Also want to give props to the yaar running the roach coach at Balboa Park BART who is like an Abishek Bachchan wanna-be from before he learned to use hair gel lmao who is perpetually eyeing gori like he’s one of those CL gori post trolls… lols! I always wanted to tell him that’s what he looks like.. might just be ek Arab yaar who likes gori’s absaz 😉 instead tho…
UPDATE 10/22: tik yeh yaar is totally weird. Gori comes up to BART station side entrance (from BEHIND yeh yaar’s roach coach na?).. How TF does this desi or kuch bhi know that gori is approaching? She cannot figure this out lekin, dude comes out of the coach cheez, all smiling & looking at gori like he’s expecting some type of prize today lmao 😛 BOTH of ladka’s dostan are saying ‘hi’ to gori, gori is thinking- I insulted yeh yaar, uh desi, uh Palestinian, Paki- kuch bhi.. why TF is he all proud n stuff? Do words ji: H A I R G E L.. or pomade or something! Yaar! Kya hua? Too much humidity? Study *recent*, I repeat *recent* Abhi Bolly filim na? Abhishek looks garam abi, despite being married to the failed debutante/model/’actress’ (cough- even by Bollywood standards) gold digger mal na? He DOES look garam.
Yeh roach yaar, do u just come out of the silver coach every 2 mins, smiling? Do you peek out of the seemingly closed window opening on the back of the coach, waiting for gori to appear? Do your kala brotha Muni driver dostan come running up to tell you gori is coming? WTF? roflmao. roflmao about this ’cause gori cannot figure this out. at all. The end 😀
BTW if you haven’t figured it out yet, gori is around Powell/Union Square dtown SF alot these days.. probably sirf area of town known to most desi geeks sitting in cubes at some industrial park suburbs mein reading this abi. So look for gori there na? Lekin say ‘hi’ tik? Writing all this crap out is alot of work.. would rather be doing naughty masti cheez (cheezay? um.. lol!) right now with one or more of you jis 😉 instead of watching the hits on this blog get to 1110 (wow! shukriya!) so far this week, but where are the comments? Ahem!! More to come…
PLEASE USE THE COMMENTS SECTION 🙂 Don’t be shy now 😉 U sure as heck aren’t shy in private (example: CL email responses).. so get to typing! Gori isn’t blogging to hear her own voice.. uh, something like that! This is an INTERACTIVE exercise na? 😀 At least I hope so!