goriji ;)

Mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar kaha hai? lol :P

Archive for garam desi yaar sightings :D

Any desi yaar wanna donate a trailer? Or (gasp) actual cash? :P

Hey ppl here’s a quick update: I haven’t gotten the free food page up yet (having problems making an html table fit in this teeny column, go figure) ;P but I’m working on it. On the far right you can see my countdowns (web access willing) to my current indiegogo projects.

NOTE: not ONE person has given poor little homeless me even $1 yet! WTF don’t u desi yaar coming in from craigslist have your IT jobs still? How about all u supposedly giving, socially conscious ppl from twitter? Cmon people!

Well anyhow if the Great Recession has left u super cash short (like me, like everybody).. then see column 3 (also to the right) for my wishlist! I managed to get a donated phone (whoot!) but have no money to get service (lol- but not really- try getting work, or a free trailer for that matter, from a stranger who can’t even speak to you directly & has no way to find you otherwise, my web access being highly intermittent & my email typically hacked). I know of a pre-pay company that gives unlimited phone, text, web for like $60- or even if someone has old phone cards that aren’t used up that would allow me to call within the US it would help enormously. I’m in downtown SF & can meet you if you have a donation ;)

Also on my wishlist is an (old, dead) trailer. Again I want to reiterate that many people have these, they are lying around rotting in your/your neighbors/relative’s backyard. I REALLY DONT CARE HOW BAD THE CONDITION IS! I’M LIVING WITH MY CATS IN CARDBOARD BOXES IN THE STREET IN GRAVE DANGER! EVEN AN EMPTY SHELL ON WHEELS (or not lol) IS A VAST IMPROVEMENT! Just to clarify lol.

BUT.. I’m also having two other issues, as this tincantourists vintage trailer site post of mine details: I need help towing the damn thing (again, not impossible to find a good Samaritan with a truck to move it for free within the Bay Area, but in a pinch when it has to be done within 24 hours? And with limited communication?) So if you have a vehicle of pick-up truck size or larger (apparently many SUVs can tow the smaller trailers) and are able to commit to picking up a trailer for me in a totally prompt, last-minute type of way.. I would be ETERNALLY grateful.

Second (bigger) trailer problem: I need to line up somewhere to park it BEFORE I actually get the trailer (unless you have a free one that can stay where it is for the time being). This is not so easy, hence this post outlining all the various & sundry ways I’m willing to ‘workcamp’ in relatively outlying areas if needed in order to ‘pay rent’ to leave the darn thing somewhere on private land. Ideally in SF Bay Area somewhere. PLEASE help me out in finding a location for it. The more informal/laid back the person with the land/work, the better since I’m juggling here: I need the land to get the trailer, the trailer to get the job, the job (or barter whatever) to get the land, it’s like rock paper scissors or something.

Easiest way to contact me (til I have a phone) is twitter @SoufiandMe :) If you don’t use twitter, try to find a friend who does since that’s easier than me explaining the sign up process to people who prolly won’t use it. Sorry I don’t really do facebook (I will be trying again soon, promise!) becos it’s been hacked so many times. Facebook FYI is a hotbed of sextrafficking activity, along with craigslist. It’s nearly impossible for me to use either because the criminals I’m dealing with regard it as their (virtual) turf, just like they (totally erroneously, most are suburban losers) try to ‘claim’ SF as their own. So they hack me constantly in order to keep me from using those sites. In the case of (internally corrupt IMHO) craigslist in particular, they have made themselves one of my lawsuit candidates (but we’ll go into that later) ;)

So meantime u will also find on the list some pretty simple electronics stuff you might have lying around: a 12v charger (regular plug in wall variety) that fits an Asus machine (I’m assuming any generic 12v charger will work, feel free to enlighten me if not. Or perchance (ok I admit this is more difficult) a tablet (or small machine like the eeePC I have) in whatever semi-working condition, that’s small & I can carry with me. Also I’ve just added any old iPod plus a microphone. Both of mine died. An old ipod that will take a mic to record audio (the big HD old clunky ‘classic’ kind are great, except its’ expensive (ironically) to get the old mics for them, something recent enough it will take the current gen microphone is much better. Just in case you’ve got a semi-dead one you don’t mind me milking the end of its life from. Lol.

K that’s it just look over yonder –> for these wondrous things. With a little help ppl, I can be on my way to making humanrights film, sleeping, letting my poor poor bedraggled kitties get normal exercise & most of all have some privacy & the ability to distill the vast knowledge I’ve gained about these horrible criminals in such a way I can warn/enlighten the more vulnerable in our society about them. Something they definitely do.not.want & are therefore making it highly difficult for me to make any move. So that’s where you come in.

And just think, once I’ve actually gotten a couple of months rest (as in, sleeping like 12+ hrs every day) & gotten my health back somewhat, I should look quite a bit better (maybe like my old videos, unfortunately with a few added crowsfeet & some pretty serious sun damage, especially to my hands. But anyhow hopefully I’ll look decently sexy again, definitely I’ll be back watching film & doing Indian/South Asian & other international film reviews, and possibly even re-seeking that ideal desi yaar pati ;) In other words, my sexy Indian husband ;) Maybe he’s some 2nd gen divorcee or ??

Gotta say one thing: I LOVE Hinduism (for reasons too long to detail here- Om nama Shivaya) ;) despite all the horrible things written into it by its followers (sati, forced marriage, caste system as nauseum) SO MUCH MORE than damn stupid Islam (after dealing extensively with Algerians practically identical to the Toulouse jihadi- here’s links to my current crowdfunding videos for my French Algerian doc film on basically the same subject and to my ‘Soufi & Me’ feature film about the ALgerians in San Francisco who tried to sextraffick me (heartless monsters). HOWEVER, despite all of this, Islam does have 1 great thing going for it: it allows divorce. Basically this is only for the male’s benefit but still.. you get the picture. Cos I’m getting pretty old waiting around for the Sri Lumba Kala Sundar. And being homeless, you can definitely tell (just click on those last two links & check out the videos!) K so have a heart? I need my wishlist (mosrt especially the trailer home & somewhere to park it). Help me out bhaiyan. Shukriya ;) (translation from Hindi: Help me out bros- thanks ;)

Laters ppl! Find me on twitter @SoufiandMe or read the feed in the 2nd column. Much love & peace :)

a belated Samhain post ;)

K tweeps here’s a (very late, gratuitous) Oct entry to the blog. I (for 1st time ever na?) stayed home, didn’t go out (what w/demise of Castro Halloween etc..) & instead did buri nizer er.. shap ..er kuch bhi against voh evil donwalas lol :P In actuality it took me til last nite (writing this mid-Nov, cheating on post date lol- it’s new moon in Scorpio ;) to finish said evil diyan curse on the organized crime elements who r giving ur gori hell.. er, were, past tense, we now hope ;)

But I digress.. also there was a Fri the 13th (in Nov) a few days back-tho I’d planned on finishing up the shap/sahera/black magick thingy, ended up doing a bewitching pyar spell instead ;) Yet to see the result but hopefully.. Anyhow the drama of evil crorepati bura diwana baap & me being evicted etc.. continues.. of course exacerbated by voh thug ulloos.. who in turn I’m making ek filim about lol :P

Last nite I finally finished the spell began at Samhain aka Hallowe’en, a fortnight before. With any luck we’ll see bahut mushkilon happening to the criminals & gori finally being free of some old curses etc.. that petty jealous morons graced me with (not :P) ages ago.. lekin ur some IT geek reading this who ‘doesn’t believe’ in this stuff na? Just wait n see! ;) U don’t have 2 believe it, I’m believing it for you :D

Next up (aka proper November blog entry) is a list of character parts for the trailer to my upcoming film, ‘Soufi & Me’.. which if I didn’t already say, is about gori’s such-zindagi (get it? real life ;) experience ka San Francisco thug don maderchodus :P Metlab: a suspense thriller feature film shot entirely in SF about the Arab mafia who are brazen sex traffickers, & with any luck (plus a little shap/sahera/bruja/hoodoo ;) gonna be nailed by the Fed presently ;) We hope..

At any rate, there’s gonna be tons of Arab (especially Maghreb aka Northern Africa originating, especially Algerian) male parts to cast, tons of goonday (aka gang member) walk on/no dialogue small roles that don’t require any acting experience, and a few small/interesting desi roles, including a Sri Lankan hacker/pimp & a Tamilian ex BF of mine lol.

Speaking of which, I talked briefly with Samrat Chakrabarti on Twitter (he’s promoting his latest film, Bombay Summer, which played at the Third I SF film festival a week or so back) -video reviews to come, still in need of re-homing my 350+ vlog vids after the semi-demise of revver.com.. I’m extremely hopeful he might agree to a small cameo in the film (btw there are two other desi male roles in the same scene, which is a humorous one ;) Just FYI.. he’s the guy in Kissing Cousins (sorry if links don’t work, not under my control but try ‘goriji’ + film title in google), Loins of Punjab Presents and … Karma Calling and and.. I LOVE him.. he’s fabulous ;)

So get ur roles while their hot, n tell a dost na? Meantime u can see everything gori’s a doin at any point in time here –> that’s meri tweets na? Just join twitter & add me! Be sure to check out my lists, got a great desi list going (including ppl like Shahsi ‘sacred cow’ Tharoor, Rajdeep Sardesai (CNN-IBN) who did the SRK interview below, Karan Johar, Abhishek Bachchan, Vivek Oberoi, Preity Zinta, AR Rahman, lotsa fun regular desi ppl, including some pretty active Pakistan tweeps, etc..) plus lists of films, Arab/Maghreb stuff, human rights & of course, my ‘stop sex trafficking’ feed na? ;) Plus tons more! If u join twitter u can subscribe! Whoo! :P

If u wanna be in the film, see the next blog entry (above this one on main page) for specs on the peeps needed for the trailer shoot, and keep checking here or my tweets where I’m gonna be listing parts (many) needed for the film. Many of which don’t require dialog/any acting experience etc.. which means it’s open to anyone meeting the physical descriptions needed & willing to work for free ;) Please pass the word- especially please let any recent male immigrants from Algeria know (or people approximating such who speak French, Arabic & ideally, Darija- a local dialect which is hybrid of other two tongues) in order to try out for the lead parts- casting coming early Spring!

Meantime on the trailer, need to shoot ASAP in downtown SF.. don’t be shy-tweet me up if you wanna be in the film! ;) pyar y’all! See u on twitter :D Remember: I’m @gorisf ;)

tweeps! :) sup?

K in case u haven’t noticed the column to the right lol –> I’m going crazy on twitter my peeps :) In the time I’ve neglected yeh blog (since early July 2009), ur gori’s tweeted about 1700 or more tweets & counting na? ;) lol if u wanna add me on Twitter, I’m @gorisf na? ;)

Basically I’m focusing on a few areas: desi cheez (of course, including Bolly & SRK filim stuff), the hypocrisy of fundamentalist Muslim (oops I almost starting putting hashtags lol) attitudes, aur tweets about my vids (revver.com, voh lame site now owned by some goonda who’s letting it fall apart literally+ not paying anyone boo)- they r gonna be re-loaded onto a functional site ASAP (all 350+ of them & counting na?)..

..plus I tweet bout meri *NAYA FILM* whoo ;) Working title ‘Soufi & Me’ hai na? ;) aka ‘Soufi et Moi’ lol ‘सूफी और मैं’ ‘الصوفي & لي’ etc lol! :) So there *is* a 2-part vid about my casting needs ;) for this no-budget narrative feature film (to get technical on u there for a minute)- aka u could be famous & not have to really have acting skills to do so but… haven’t posted the vid(s) yet as I’m in the middle of finding a new video hosting site for reasons listed above.

Also, didn’t forget about the (hopefully humorous) acchi desi cheez gori clothing & accessories line (srsly! 2 use twit-speak).. it’s just that.. yeppers, I’m about to get evicted from my ghur (cry!), rent hasn’t been paid since the last blog post, u can see that’s quite a long time. Plus I’m being stalked by such SF goonday na? (Real don peeps eek!)- which is what yeh filim is actually about, besides being a love story ;)

So if u pray 2 any goddesses or gods of any sort, say a prayer 4 gori aaj, tik hai? The donate 2 gori’s Mini Cooper fund link in the archive should still (hopefully lol) work, in case anyone wants 2 donate the extreme amounts of $$$ needed for me 2 stave off imminently becoming homeless :( *sigh* Or of course, you can donate towards the film, which ideally has a ‘low low budget’ of $500K (basically a budget to keep me housed while writing the script, feed the crew while filming & pay 2 rent a camera/print the film, with little left for anything else ;) In any case, I’m doing the dang film, even if I’m living marg mein instead of ghur mein :( which is exactly what local thuggees would like to see happen :(

Oh if I didn’t say, it’s about gori kam trafficking bhi na? So if u wanna be a funder (or just lend gori her back rent $$)- catch me on twitter peeps & I’ll be bahut khushi 2 take any donations lol-or just say ‘hi’! :) Pyar jis & watch yeh space 4 more details on filim production & lol fundraising attempts!

BTW if ur bored (besides talking 2 me ‘live’ on twitter, u know u wanna, especially the more Tamilian-esque masti Sri Lumba Kala Sundars out there na?) u can check out my very own #Hashtag on twitter: #LHTE, which stands for ‘Learn Hindi Through English’ lmao. Because everyone knows that crappy Hindi book, my theory being that ‘Hinglish’ goes both ways: it’s not just some gora being unable to speak Hindi (or other Indian languages) but also desi peeps being unable 2 properly speak Angrezi na? So enjoy! All typos are directly copied from the book itself lmao!

Will bb soon jis, in the meantime, just read the next column & u got more details than I’m sure u ever wanted lol –> ;)

catchin up n’stuffs…

K gori’s cheating here since this is actually being written in July (mostly) about cheez June se na? ;)

Belated Khushi gay (uh bi!!!) Pride na? Here’s my rant about lack of Bi visibility to start things off…

gori's bi rant- khushi belated Pride 2009 peeps! :)

Been hacked for about 9 wks, unable 2 get online 95% of the time, turns out this has 2 do with goonday aka thuggees :P San Francisco mein, which have been harrassing gori ever since the demise of yeh M1M… augmented by garam Arab yaar & posse, got that?

:P At any rate, u can now see mehri Twitter feed (add me! @gorisf & say ‘hi’ with a DM or something na? Only if ur not spam tik hai?)

Meantime, basically blogging about the entire SF International Film Fest (<–go there to see my reviews! yey!) plus the Frameline 33 Queer (tik hai, LGBT if you must) film fest (both from SF) got obliterated. As u can see from that link, it’s very very slow going trying to upload the 17+ film reviews from that fest, seeing as I’m hardly ever able to keep a connection going for even 24hrs…

But don’t be sad, u can see gori’s twitter feed, so far with daily updates, to the right –> (or just add @gorisf tik hai?) ;)

If u wanna see gori cry, check out this cool movie review from the Frameline Queer film fest:

gori's 'Edie & Thea' film review from Frameline 33 -SF Int'l Queer Film Fest 2009 ;)

If u missed the end of the cafe lurks (reason: mafia peeps like usual), check this out (vid to the right, below)

gori cafe lurk 50+ ..SF thug edition :( muh... circa 4/09

Gotta jet before the thugs get my connection again! Be sure to keep an eye out 4 gori’s naya filim about garam Arab yaar, gori aur the sex trafficking scammers na? BTW status of gori’s naya desi lounge/club is currently unknown, depends largely on my dost’s willingness to take a risk of thugs trashing his nice new lounge/computer space, since both of us refuse to pay kickback $$$ to them (u thought this happened Mumbai mein sirf na?) :(

Pyar mehri jaans :) Be sure to watch my twitter feed to the right, I’m frequently in Union Square (theoretical film location) working on the script/watching thugs go by these days & would love some (non criminal sirf, please!) desi yaar company :)

PS if ur wondering on the SRK in San Francisco cheez, let’s just say nahin, I didn’t meet him, it’s a little too painful to talk about :( Meantime, here’s a fellow tweep’s blog about being an extra in one of the last shoots in the North Bay before SRK, Kajal & KJo left for Mumbai *sigh*…

Aur here’s a photo of SRK standing in the EXACT SAME SPOT gori can be found standing at every time she is returning to her house via disgusting filthy BART (just stood there today- actually there’s another photo I can’t find right now of him standing approx where the woman ki sari is to the left, that’s what I mean lol, plus he shot across the street from my old house @Mint Karaoke Bar, plus he shot @CCSF, which I can see from my current place arggggggggggg!!!! <–a digression lol)… at least mujhe samjhe abi that it’s possible that my long dreamt of Bolly-style script starring SRK as a bi male (directed by Karan Johar) taking place on Nob Hill IS a possibility… zindagi bahut strange hai na? Let’s see how my first film attempt goes, then maybe I’ll have a shot at the SRK script na? Cross fingers!

Pyar y’all.. watch the twitter column or add @gorisf to get updates on filims, gori’s whereabouts & the (now ever-present) Arab & other mafia peeps na? Laters! ;)

whoa… time flies na? :P

Tik jis it’s already the end of May (actually I’m cheating it’s early June lekin gori post-dated yeh post so I will have a May post na?)

Race riots have yet to start in ‘White Australia Forver’ (oh that’s Canada oops) :( phir bhi it should be coming any second now… just like ghetto Pakis UK mein na? Jao! Light them on fire n stuff! Just don’t mess with the historic architecture tik hai jis? ;) Seriously, what a bunch of heinous ferengi na? Beat the crap out of them! Isn’t voh Punjabi Kuchbhi Singh yaar who got sliced in the stomach (one of many, poor thing!) :( bahut garam na? Wanna marry gori & come to US yaar? *sigh*

At least now gori’s rants about UK/Aus/Canada & other non-US gora colonies being hella racist won’t be as likely to meet with disaffected shrugs by gori’s apathetic desi dostana aaj.. small compensation I know…

So why we’re here.. yeppers, gori is being actually chased now by such goonday na? Incredible but true! Watch for a series of vids on voh suherchod, coming soon to mehri vlog! ;)

BTW (ha jis, gori’s cheating on the date here a little) lekin do u notice how Obama’s 6/4 Cairo speech sounds like some boring college professor’s history/economics/kuch bhi lecture? :P Worse yet, what about the fact that the audience would only applaud when Obama either a) totally brown-nosed Islamic culture or b) quoted the Qu’ran (with poor transliteration lol).. BTW Obama it’s ‘ISlam’, IZlam nahin na? Guess gori’s garam Arab yaar encounter has opened yeh akon hara to the hypocrisy/narcissicism of Muslims (not to mention the US military establishment) in any case .. Gori’s not caring so much right now, since this is undoubtedly the first time since the artificial creation of the ‘state’ (cough cough) of Israel that an Amrikan pres has actually uttered that sacred word: Palestine.. Palestinian nahin na? PalesTINE jis! Sadly, this is a massive start… Still lovin Obama in any case, if for no reason other than the khushi circumstance of looking at a brown yaar pres :D yey!

aur abi, thodi poll gori se na? ;)

Peeps… Well gori’s actually really truly updating/re-doing cheez here this time…

Depending on the level/frequency of hacking (& how busy I get at the SF International Filim Fest na?) this could take anywhere from days.. to months lol :P Anyhow, in the meantime, please check out yeh choti gori poll ..u can fill in other suggestions at the bottom- make sure they are friendly ones, since I’m sure u don’t want to experience gorigiri na? (aka: buri nizer!) :P lols… BB laters! :D

Holi Hai! :) Khushiyan Asian Film Fest bhi :P

Khushi Holi peeps! :) Time for the SFAAIFF (San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival)… gori’s going to attempt to see 20 filims in just ek week na? lols…

About dus (aka 1/2) of these are desi (South Asian/Indian, that is) films.. whoo! Should be uber-cools :) As I said in the intro, looks like (cross fingers) gori’s desi lounge (for lack of a better naam, I swear I found the perfect word on google late one nite, & failed to bookmark it lol- can’t even remember the (Indian, of course) language aaj, much less the name itself lol) is *tentatively* coming in approx June.. will be quite exciting! :D

Anyhow, I’ve made a page that will sooner or later have all the insightful & bahut exciting gori filim review vids (ulloo WordPress doesn’t allow revver.com widgets, sigh)… meantime, it’s basically a link to the revver list. At the moment, you can save urselves time by just going here to see the video reviews (<– that’s a link na?), & after gori deals with the massive hurdles of the hacker loser ex who is still around after 3+ years (mass ragging na?) aur the inherent issues with revver itself du jour, then eventually the thumbnails will be here:

gori’s video reviews of bahut desi & other film from the 2009 SFIAAFF film festival! whoo! :)

Tik here’s the intro to yeh filim fest:

gori's 2009 SFIAAFF film festival intro na? ;)

Thrilling I know lol ;) Perhaps u’d rather see a couple of diwani vids about gori catching a djinn na? ;) lols… (hover to watch vid w/out clicking through, or click to revver if you wanna see a bigger goriji ;))…

gori catches a djinn- no sh*# peeps! (pt ek- djinn ka bhai ka garam Arab yaar, that is) :P

gori catches a djinn- no sh*# peeps! (pt do- djinn ka bhai ka garam Arab yaar, that is) :P

So I thought I’d be having some fabu naya flyers for the filim fest, lekin it’s the nite before the madness begins & the printer has died :( sigh… being too broke to pay to print them lols… we’ll see..

Tik in any case get excited, it only took an entire year (shukriya to having no funding to speak of, cept voh goonday that need to be awoided like the plague they are), phir bhi there’s gonna finally be a rocking yummy spot for desi aur desi-friendly peeps to meet na? Plus make DIY Bolly & other vids, etc.. :D Since gori is looking quite single again… can’t wait to get down to chillin in person over a drink or two with bahut garam ladkay, especially of the Sri Lankan/Tamilian/Fijian :P & similar variety ;) ha jis? ;)

So see u peeps at the films! :) & very soon, at mehri own sexy, yummy desi/gori/kuch bhi lounge! Yey! :)

Happy Vday aur.. At last! Jai ho! Obama ;)

Peeps- things have been bahut busy/pagal for ur gori na? Well.. here’s mehri combined posts of the Oscars with (Jai Ho!) Slumdog Crorepati wins.. plus earlier Vday greetings… followed by an even earlier, previously unpublished bit about Obama’s election na? ;)

Tik I admit after I got over complaining about sub flaws yeh filim mein… I started to cry, watching the chotu bachchiyan on the red carpet, going to Disneyland etc… all the while thinking how they are going home to plastic tarps slum mein, ek bachchi’s baap is dying of TB (Earth to Danny Boy(le)- can u possibly bother to get him some TB meds na?).. meantime, ek other bachchi ended up getting publicly slapped by his baap when he was too tired to give interviews after flying home etc…

Gori’s only regret- wish I would have made a more watchable (instead of gundi, wobbly, very hastily shot between filims at Third I desi film festival) vid na?  Kind of tripping on the Academy Award nominations.. so, here’s ek follow-up to the reviews:

gori's ek more for slumdog-jai ho! (pt ek)

gori's ek more for slumdog-jai ho! (pt do)

Aur, original reviews yaha hai for contrast (ha ji, there’s do parts na?):

gori's 'Slumdog Millionaire' (pt ek) film review from Third I South Asian filim fest 2008 :)

gori's 'Slumdog Millionaire' (pt do) film review from Third I South Asian filim fest 2008 :)

For Valentine’s Day na? Gori hopes u were able to awoid ;) yeh Shri Rama Sena (WTF?) suvar chod yaar na? :( *sigh* Not sure what’s worse, betiyan NWFP mein with no education, or voh ‘moral police’ (lol) bhains chodu na? They need to get laid! badly! ;)

Anyhow, here’s gori’s Valentine to the perpetrators, aur mehri subsequent food poisoning vid (after inadvertently offending yeh Grand Duke at the SF Chinese New Year parade na?):

gori's Valentine's Day greeting to 'Sri Ram Sena' bakachodus :P

gori got food poisoning for Valentine's Day :( lekin fu lions to the rescue! :D

Abi, since the vids on Obama’s election didn’t exactly go up on time lol..

Tik hai… gori sochta yeh video says it all:

Meantime, like usual I’m fighting the hacker- mehri blog hits have fallen into oblivion for the usual reasons: hacker works between sites, so WordPress says ‘Google mushkil hai’ etc… for example… Glad if someone sees this front page, gori’s putting lots of work into it na? Be sure to check the articulate SRK vids about 26/11 aur the stupidity of psycho-Islam as carefully transcribed by gori below ;) (go to main page of the blog if you’re at the link for this post alone)…

Still working on the line of gori merchandise referenced below, haven’t forgotten about the naya desi lounge/club either (update: lounge tentatively starting in June 2009 :D whoo!), lekin it’s slow going without start-up funding (hint hint hint!! those of you who chaiye ek garam gori ladki to call ur own- help fund the space to meet her.. uh possibly me(?) mein)… tik hai… can u figure out that sentence lol? :P

Pyar jis! Oh, also a very belated khushi 2009, now that we watched Obama undo about 50% of the evil of the Bush ‘administration’ (cough cough) in the first 24 hours.. aaj, hum proud hain to be Amrikans na? :D Time to celebrate the end of ek error, er end of a terror.. metlab end of an era na? ;) Out with the hate, in with the love ;)

Speaking of which, Soufi I’m still waiting for your answer habibi ;)

Merry Xmas jis! Happy SRK na? :)

Tik er… Merry Xmas aur khushi (not really) bday to gori na? I noticed lotsa peeps checking out the moti gori Santa vid from last year na? That is, once I finally got online aaj, after being hacked for 3 days :( (psst the super-secret pword is the last name of the PM ;) -be sure to capitalize the first letter na?) The link is above (yeh ‘sexy secret gori Santa page’ na?) now that gori changed the blog to yeh cozy winter theme.. bahut bariya choochiyan to be found there tik? Lekin be sure to read below once ur done ;) BTW snowflakes courtesy of WordPress.. they melt after Jan 4th, apparently… so meantime gori’s Xmas = sux hard :( no pun intended lol.. It’s mehri bday today (Xmas day) na? & well, u know if I have time to blog, that cheez isn’t that great na? :(

Still, to cheer things a little, here are the SRK interviews I refer to in yeh video (see below for highly pertinent SRK Islam quotes as accurately, painstakingly transcribed by gori)- SRK ended up being the ideal ‘moderate Muslim’ I was lamenting about in mehri Bombay blasts videos & has encapsulated very articulately basically all of the important points I was thinking/feeling about the situation, lekin of course it means much more coming from SRK than gori lol…Some bahut cozy/accha person posted SRK’s interview on YouTube in teen parts, here:

I dedicate these videos to Mohammed Bedda, bhai ka garam Arab yaar Soufiane… ‘Momo’ is ek bara SRK fan bhi (remember? yeh yaar who yelled at gori public mein for like an hour about how Sharia law should be imposed San Francisco mein so gori could be killed for choding gAy- garam Arab yaar, ussa bhai na?) Is that how you use the word ‘ussa’ ‘usne’? kuch bhi.. lol :P Much of what SRK says applies directly to the hypocritical/lame-gaand situation with bhai ka garam Arab yaar.. since SRK is also important to him, I’ll let Shah Rukh make a very pertinent rebuttal to yeh Mohammed bhai, since his words will get much more respect, being a Muslim male n all.. everything below is both very apt in terms of the Mumbai terrorism blasts of last month, as well as being a direct answer to the utter BS you spout about your own religion, Mohammed, vis a vis earlier arguments we had. I hope you see this & at least give Shah Rukh a little respect for saying everything gori has tried to say to you, while I’m apparently ek rundi/kam-slave sirf.. (check the bottom of this post for more on the sucha kam goonday situation.. sigh)

Some wonderfully specific quotes from gori’s transcript of voh teen Shah Rukh videos (some clarification added in italics for any non-desi peeps who may read this- or clueless 2nd gen’ers lol):

SRK: ‘I like to believe I’m an educated, liberal Muslim, who has a Hindu wife and two kids.. the more I’m seeing these kind of things over the years, the more it makes me realize… the vulnerability of life, of course, which we all understand… I think it unites us, tragedy has a strange sense of uniting people.. I get very scared now.. and it could happen to anyone. You know, the whole reality is… it’s not bound by areas, or castes, or creeds, or colors.. it could happen to anyone.’
‘If you can take away any positive from this tragedy, and have some kind of peace in your heart, to be able to look at that- I think the very thing that the terrorists tried to destroy, which is unity, secularism, the economy, and.. just the dignity of the country, I think for the first time we have all come to realize that very thing is actually got (has been) strengthened. The unity has got (sic) strengthened… and I cannot say I’m glad, but I can 100% say, that if you can take away anything positive, that is the biggest positive. They have now given us the biggest weapon against them, and we need to utilize it in the best way possible.. which is unity, across classes, across religions..’
‘You know- can I clarify- I’ve read the Qu’ran, the Holy Qu’ran, and I’m a believer of Islam, because that’s how I am born.. I’ll give you a few verses of Qu’ran, which you need to understand… there is ‘Sura pulse suray moida’ which is a verse from Qu’ran, which very clearly states that if you heal one man, you heal the whole mankind- this is what God says- and if you hurt one man, you hurt the whole mankind. There is *no where* in Qu’ran- see, we believe, Qu’ran is the word of Allah- so there are believers in that book, in that holy book, and I’m very clear if you’re following Allah’s Qu’ran, if you’re following Allah’s Islam, *no where* does it say that you are going to get jennat (salvation, go to heaven) by jihad (holy war aka ‘terrorism’), *no where* does it say that you can kill women- as a matter of fact it says *in a war*, you cannot kill a woman, you cannot kill a child, you cannot kill an animal, and you cannot destroy crops. Very clear: jihad was supposed to be something that was to be propagated by the Prophet himself.’
‘There is an Islam from Allah which is in our holy book, there is an Islam- and very unfortunate, I’m not being ‘auntie’- but there is an Islam from the mullahs. And I appeal to all of them: *please* give the right reading of the Qu’ran to the young people- I do it to (this for) my children- no where in the Qu’ran, which we consider is the word of Allah- does it say that you are going to be given jennat if you kill harmless, innocent people, *no where*.’
(Rajdeep Sardesai from CNN IBN): ‘So they’re distorting religion..’
SRK: ‘Absolutely, see, this has happened for the last 100 years at most, or 120 years Raj, it’s not something (from) a thousand five-hundred years ago.. See I’ll explain it to you- jihad was actually to be called upon by the Prophet himself. And jihad also has a very simple logic- if you go by what is written- that there is debates.(sic) There has to be understanding- either you convince me of your viewpoint or I convince you of mine. And then also if we don’t understand (agree), we’ll go our separate ways. *No way* does jihad say- very very clearly, let me be very honest about it, I’ve read it now, I’ve read it many times over the last 2-3 years- it doesn’t say that you can go into *anybody else’s* territory, you know jihad says that if somebody comes into *your* territory, then you can protect yourself.’
(Rajdeep): ‘..does it then really trouble you.. “Not every Muslim is a terrorist, but all terrorists are Muslim”- these are the kinds of SMSes that have done the rounds at times in.. upper middle class societies..’
SRK: ‘See, I cannot deny it anymore, you know two years’ back, I used to get very disturbed when the Americans said that all the terrorists are Muslim, I would say ‘no that’s not true’. But now I can’t deny it, because 95, 99% of the people who get caught, or who are shot, are claimed to be Muslims…’
‘I think both hardliners- Hindus & Muslims- I think there should be a law in this country: that *no* political party’s agenda can be communal (based on religious separatism). And be it the biggest party, be it the smallest party- *no* organization which is going to mis-read any of the books, whether it is Qu’ran or (Bhagavad) Gita, should be allowed. There should be a hard-line treatment to the hardliners, one. Secondly, I also like to believe at this point of time, that some of us are born Muslim, so some of these guys who got completely mislead- or women also- they are by birth Muslim, but I don’t think that by teaching (they are), Muslim. They’ve been just born that way. The teachings of Islam are as wonderful, as good, as the teaching of Gita. Or of the Bible- they’re all the same. And I think the youngsters (younger generation) understand this much better today, and that’s why I have huge hope in them.’
(on initial emotional reactions of the people of India saying ‘bomb Pakistan’)
SRK: ‘..but I have a huge amount of faith in the goodness of Indians…I think they will understand.. see what I’m sensing- I’m not saying dishonesty- but what I’m sensing is that everybody’s trying to protect (themselves)… ‘Ok let’s not say it happened in Pakistan’ (that the terrorists originated there).. and you can’t completely deny it.. they’re living in denial, and of course, some of us also reacting and saying ‘let’s just bomb Pakistan’- no. I think like I said, the first tenet of jihad, if I was to tell you just as a Muslim, is debate. Let’s sit down, and *accept* the truth. See accepting the truth actually makes the problem vanish. Let’s accept the truth: uh-oh, these guys are being trained there- we’re not claiming the government is doing it, but we’re saying they’re being trained- can the government (of Pakistan) *do* something about it? Yes we can-let’s take outside help, let’s come, and try and finish them off in the best way possible.’
(Rajdeep): ‘Shah Rukh, would you be willing to debate with a fanatic?…be it a Muslim or Hindu fanatic? Are you willing to have that debate?’
SRK: ‘Can I just tell you one thing? I think fanatics have no ground to stand on. It’s very easy to debate with a fanatic. Because I think they’re misinformed.. Any normal, educated, well brought-up Indian or Pakistani can debate with a fanatic from either side, and win the debate very clearly… because I’m again & again saying, if you’re following Allah’s word, if you’re following even Gita’s word, if you’re following the Biblical word, there is *no* tenet anywhere which states this.’
‘See, you & I don’t know what Heaven is going to be like. You & I genuinely don’t know what God is going to be like. But I can assure you of one thing that you & I both know very clearly: that by hurting someone who is innocent, there is *no* way, *no* God in this world is going to be good to you and take you to Heaven.’
‘I see an amazing amount of hope, and I attach it again and again to the youth… here are people who *can* do it, and *will* do it… we have to see it within ourselves, we do respect Gandhiji’s tenets… that yes, do not offer the other cheek. If a guy slaps you, and he says very clearly ‘I’m sorry’, it’s ok, accept it… I’m not saying ‘bomb XYZ’, but you need to take a little hard stance, because they have come to our house. You know, you can’t allow people to come to our houses, and destroy our families, you just cannot, you cannot allow that… There is zero tolerance for terror, and a lack of security, and I think we need to put up organizations in place, and say ‘listen, we will not tolerate this’. And right now I can sense that in the country.’
‘I can’t say we are fortunate, but I think we’re in the middle of an amazing historical event which is only going to make our country very very strong.. I can’t say I’m happy, but I’m at peace, that I’m part of this movement…’

Now that u’ve waded thru all that, be sure to check the latest bahut dhukh series on gAy aur bhai ka gAy aur their scary evil team of naisay gunday na? In case u were wondering how mehri Xmas was ruined (poor gori!) aur how cheez got to this sorry state of affairs :(

(BTW jis.. as u can probably tell, gori’s having some choti formatting issues abi lol :P ..phir bhi u can still hover over the vids to watch thumbnails, or click to see the real cheez revver.com site mein na??) accha! :)

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt ek)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt do)

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt teen)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt char)

Mehri Chinese astrology isn’t looking good for 2009- gori is ek Ram (aka Sheep) with Pig/Boar influence in Bazi. Which essentially means this year may suck hard :( Oh noes!

Oh course u, the dedicated desi yaar hath ka.. er, reader aur goriji video viewer, will want to *give back* a tiny portion of that IT salary na? ;) This time it’s not for a Mini Cooper lekin good old fashioned Amrikan merchandise, which can be had (coming soon!) goriji’s cafepress store mein ;) <– link will be here as soon as it’s up & running! :)

So u can now have every sexy diwani kuch bhi cheez available, with ek gori logo na? Dog t-shirt? No problem.. baby t-shirt? got it.. maternity T-shirt.. even those.. how about gori bumperstickers, pins aur mugs? lol :P U know biwi’s not gonna be suspecting what ur doing on revver ka gori vids during lunch na? ;) Who cares? U can always keep the thong.. er boxer shorts.. er metlab coffee mug at the office right? :D

Meantime, did ya know that gori’s posted 300 vids & counting in 10+ madham sirf na? In case u were wondering why the blog’s sorta fallen behind lols… here’s the link to sub gori vids, with most recent showing first *or* u can click this link to scroll through the bar on the left to see them organized by playlist subject, so now u know!)

Tik back to mehri regularly scheduled moping, at least until New Yaar’s ;) Mehri gori diyan cards say there’s some naya pyar cheez 4 gori ASAP.. let’s hope it’s mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar crorepati, I sure need it, considering gori’s economic situation! :(

whoo Obama! :) ha jis, we can! :D

K nuf said. Congrats Amrika! :) :) :) There’s still hope na? :D Shukriya BAHUT sub deities of every religion GW the terrorist is on his way out!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!! I admit it, I cried, especially when our naya President, Barack Hussein Obama :D talked about their new puppy lmao :P

BTW WTF on Prop 8 peeps? That does suck… ironic what the stupidity of Christianity among peoples who were conquered & suppressed in its name (uh hello African Amrikan aur Latino Catholic peeps!), can do.. while simultaneously voting in yeh yaar.. JFK pt do na? ;)

Indians with cells photoing Obama on the beach Hindustani mein

our naya global President na? :D

As garam Arab yaar (aka gAy) told gori this morning, just post the universal election euphoria of last nite:

“..his father was Muslim..” he was smiling..

I added: “Barack (like Mubarak) means ‘blessed’ doesn’t it?”

gAy: “..and Bush killed Hussein.. didn’t he? Saddam Hussein..” with a rare ironic smile..

gori: “Stupid people say ‘Obama’ sounds like ‘Osama’..” (laughing)

A man who basically reps sub major ethnicities (cept Latinos, if u count desis as Asians that is, lol)… suddenly rising to the top with ek fully Muslim naam, kala skin…

gori wonders: was it the earnest prayers of the mass numbers of ‘moderate’ Muslims against the evil tyranny of GW Bush that caused this astoundingly beautiful irony.. uh ‘coincedence’ (not!) to happen? :D Being ek diyan (that’s saher.. uh.. rawhani… kuch bhi to Arabic speaking peeps)… as a queer-identified staunch feminist.. I’ve nonetheless adopted a position of deep respect for garam Arab yaar’s religious conviction, albeit causing direct conflict between us, as it bears an uncanny resemblance to my own sense of spiritual devotion, just with the beliefs inside out ;)

ek cheez I’ve learned being a bona-fide native of the fine city developers have gutted into the post-dot.com post-mortem San Fran-shit-co…

Diversity aur tolerance na? Goes a long way.

Congrats to the world :)


Election Day madness aur.. more gori vids! :) yey

tik hai peeps…

Well, as u can see the updates haven’t exactly occurred, mostly because I was hacked for 3+ weeks from using Revver, yeh video hosting site ki gori ;)

First let me plug myself lol…

A sample of some of the latest gori vids:

gori’s Folsom St Faire review (pt do)

gori's djinn ka garam Arab yaar (pt ek)

..aur some of the typical cafe lurks lol (u know, Nike slave labor women’s shopping marathon, DAPs (desi Amrikan princesses- is the kam accha with them? seriously? gori thinks not) aur biwi/gf swapping at mehri naya desi club etc..:

gori's cafe lurk 30 (pt ek)

Now that that’s over with lol (can u tell I have about 10 mins to compose this post na?) unless u are a brain-dead moron (like gori’s baap aur ma na?) aur IF u can actually WOTE (what up on the taxation *without* representation H-1 visa cheez na?) :( ..despite this monopoly on voting by evil insecure bakarchod goras Amrika mein, those of us who can vote have the ability to *wote* for Barack Obama aaj tik? So do it!

Or face the consequences (u can hover to watch a mini version of these pertinent vids (not by gori) lekin showing the consequences of the presidential election by the brilliant reTODDed movies:

Gori’s particularly fond of Palin’s ‘I’m scared of witches!’ :P figures, na?

Check it out while ur waiting for the election results! Aur waiting aur waiting for gori to fix her blog..

Mc Palin is president! run! :(

PC Palin v Mac Obama ;)

Meantime go here to see sub gori vids (hint, if you click the ‘date’ tab, u can see the most recent, instead of most popular, albeit in somewhat random order)…

Although I could wax here about our utter lack of a true multi-party democratic system, this limitation being furthered by the retarded, paid-off & pathetic infotainment-oriented Amrikan media machine, instead I’ll give u a simple sound bite since gori’s jaldi karo right now: VOTE for the only candidate lol. Nuf said ;)

Be sure to check out mehri naya vids with gori as Krishna at Samhain aka Hallowe’en, aur as Krishna doing an intro for the upcoming Third I South Asian filim fest whoo! :) See u there jis! :D

updates have begun! :) whoo! chak de.. gori! :P

Tik peeps… first update is to the silly search terms page.. because well, it gets hecka hits na? (see how this is a self-feeding sort of cheez? I put lotsa links to mehri revver vids yaha hai… uh.. kuch bhi) :P Nevermind… in any case, although the naya links to the 220+ revver vids gori has made so far are not yet on their respective pages blog mein, some are available on yeh page tik? :) Did u follow that?

Gori will be cafe mein, San Francisco downtown mein, yeh Friday aur each Friday as per usual. Feel free to walk by & get lurked… :D

A small but not entirely gratutious election-related note… SF Gate (the SF Chronimer/Examicle.. oh I forgot, it split na?) is a raging piece of sh** in terms of actual reporting, lekin Mark Mofo is one of gori’s fave columnists.. like gori on steroids na? U might have to get voh ABCD yaar to translate, FOB yaar.. definitely worth bothering with, trust gori :) Note how bhagvan is female (as per gori’s pagan beliefs) yeh article mein.. Now those of u who can, get ur weird black felt-tip pens ready to fill in those arrows… uh, metlab, WOTE for (gag, yes I’m saying it) Obama! whoo! (gag).. kuch bhi :P

Choti, nahin bara, addendum: gori was raised by these GOP monsters.. Bobby (metlab: ‘baby’ na? nice naam ulloo!) Jindal mehri gaand… GOP pyar *GORA Chr1st1ans* sirf na? Nahin converted Southie Catholics, nahin coconut yuppie FOBs zooming around in newly acquired Mercs, nahin yeh Sri Kuch Bhi who shaadis gori beti na? Read gori’s lips: sub Repub peeps bahut racist hai na? trust gori: BAHUT :P Please don’t be so FOB as to be fooled… they are hypocritical racist morons, no matter what they may say, jootwala-style to win ur vote aur use u as a token to convert more non-goras to self-oppression na? (like Catholicism, aur Islam, aur.. I digress) ..about as likely to be genuinely ‘down’ with mehri desi peeps as gori is to be in tight with ur local Imam or voh Shiv Sen goonday na? Just IMHO… so WOTE early aur often! (just reminding ur ABCD dost who translated the article above so gori doesn’t have to remember in Nov) :) pyar jis! :)

peeps! remember tumhara goriji? :P


How diwani can cheez be around gori lately na? :P It’s been since Gay Pride that I’ve not posted.. uh, wait a sec.. I’m talking like garam arab yaar suddenly lmao.. who is yeh ‘Garam Arab Yaar’, u ask? Notice the acronym: ‘GAY’, which Sri Metrosexual insists he is decidely (supposedly, somewhat homophobically) NOT… despite being in love with his mataji, who apparently bears some superficial resemblance to gori (hello, Freud/Oedipus complex = GAY’, na? ;) (j/k Soufi) ;)

I digress… Besides quite possibly being the source- at least a close 3rd guess after the Olympics aur US Presidential candidate nomination(s)- of gori’s suddenly dropped vlog ratings.. notwithstanding near constant hacking by yeh M1M, the usual suspect.. garam Arab/Algerian yaar has been taking up bahut bandwidth, lekin ‘putting out’ :P for gori nahin.. so we’re gonna leave that situation for a bit (especially during Ramadan, the period in which gori is apparently prohibited from doing anything meaningful/naughty with Moslem peeps of that ilk anyway, being an infidel n all (psst: <– yeh link is actually for Independence Day na?) :P aur continue onto more desi-like subject…

So, once again, a total re-vamp of yeh oft-neglected (typically in favor of mehri Revver.com vids) blog here on WordPress is in order. I’ve given up on waiting for yeh M1M to quit hacking me (<–BTW all those links (well, most) are to revver vids, in case ur wondering na? Check out how cool- u can now watch mehri vids voh ‘snap’ preview windows mein by hovering sirf, no need to click over to the revver site -unless of course u wanna see gori choochiyan full size tik hai?- WOW na yaar?) ;) .. aur am just gonna forge ahead with a total update/redo, including a full organization with commentary of the entire (to date) 220+ gori revver vids (goal: 600 vids total by years’ end! whoo!!) :) We’re gonna see a resurrection of voh ‘What’s More Retarded?’ polls aur possibly even some gori merchandising, in order to help raise paisay for gori’s naya desi club na? ;) I’ve noticed bahut peeps visiting yeh Mini Cooper page, yet not donating na? :( Don’t worry, the M1M is unlikely to mess with u via PayPal, gori was able in the past to keep her eBay business going & receive payments that way despite yeh ulloo so… feel free to follow mehri suggestion aur donate (sirf, lol) ek dollar :P for every time u hath ka juggernaut :P lmao to voh gori vids or slideshows :) tee hee….

Gori’s Mini is about $40K sticker price (haven’t looked at prices on 2009 models yet.. can’t believe how much $$ has been wasted on rentals when I could just have a proper tricked-out custom gori gaadi na?) :( poor gori! aur re: yeh naya desi club, j’ai besoin de (metlab: muhje chaiye lol) $120K start-up funding (or $70K on a shoestring budget! that’s US dollars na yaar?)- certainly someone wants to help gori escape yeh M1M hacker by giving her a viable off-line way to make ek living, while creating an uber cool sub desi weekly lounge/cross-cultural (read: goris + desis, aur sub cool peeps) dating venue aur nite club spot na? ;) Even got an incredibly fine SF location already nailed down (shukriya mehri dost Andy, of the up & coming, soon-to-be Rancho Parnassus na?)… just waiting on u peeps to cough some $$ up.. er, feel civically minded & want to be gori’s angel investor, or something like that :)

So is that enough Hinglish to keep u all khushi for a little bit? :P Most recently, my vid uploading has gotten quite behind as yeh M1M hacker bakarchod is messing with my audio drivers- I did have audio yeh laptop mein for a couple of days, now the driver itself has apparently been removed (samjhe: WTF? look here if you care about this type of BS lol).. aur I’m sure that in a few days it will magickally ‘re-appear’, just like most of the other hacks yeh sala harasses gori with continually. Interesting aur such kahani: met with yeh retired Fed agent the other day (please, don’t ask lmao).. yeh yaar first person hai to not be surprised or even the least bit incredulous when gori made her best attempt at describing what yeh M1M stalker has been doing (mind you, this includes spying on gori via seemingly turned-off cell phones aur all other manner of truly bizarre cheez). In fact, yeh yaar (without batting an eyelash) simply said, ‘Nothing you’ve said so far surprises me.. it’s just typical surveillance techniques.’ *sigh* Now if a KGB operative (or goonda of any ilk, kuch bhi) would just drop the polonium in bakarchod’s teapot or something… (gori suddenly snaps out of fantasy mode lol)…

So finally, do stay tuned. Hacks or no, we’re gonna revamp yeh blog & get on with the garam masti na? :) Aur don’t forget, whether gori posts in craigslist rants & rants or nahin, I’m still cafe mein sub Fridays downtown San Francisco mein, from 4:30-6pm, until further notice, lurkin’ u yaars (sub long-lost via the hacker dostay such as Daison bhai, D shaadied yaar :P aur guruji (ahem) also feel free to materialize there) ;) Pyar jis! :D

Happy Pride hangover! :) yey :P

Tik jis..

Like usual, gori got hecka busy, distracted, aur of course, hacked by yey M1M (boo!) during Pride, so we’re in the process of putting up a whole bunch of naya goriji Frameline 32 queer filim fest vids, some vids about SF Pride (aur the real deal, Pink Saturday na?).. the latter of which gori spent getting felt up by a bunch of garam kalay desi fags while dancing to Bollywood remixes (yey!) :) How I manage to constantly be surrounded by gorgeous ladkay is beyond me.. not complaining na? ;) So hope u all had ek rockin Gay (well Queer, really) Pride 2008 na? :D Haven’t read the news yet, but bahut pyar to voh desis holding the first ever Pride marches in teen cities Hindustan mein: Kolkatta, Bangalore aur New Delhi :) Hope u are all well, khushi & hung over bhi! :) Yey for getting drunk in honor of well, a riot that happened at a bar in the first place na? (acchi justification, tee hee..) BTW here is the Trikone Pride party flyer I mention in the Pink Sat video (below) with the garam kala Sri LKS-like yaar (I can do without the muscles lol) aur some way-too-bleached for gori, well, gori na? Guess they were trying to show contrast or something lol!

Anyhow, as usual yeh blog needs mass updating. Most important cheez to say here is ur gori’s had ek bara realization na? That I need to re-work queer desi cheez into mehri vids aur blog/Revver vlog aur zindagi na? Is Sri Lumba Kala Sundar ek queer-identified bi yaar? (like gori na? except well I guess gori’s ek suheli or yaari or kuch bhi…) FYI for mehri more straight-ish readers/watchers, there’s hecka queer desis out there. Those are the peeps gori first knew, in terms of being introduced to desi community in general na? Hard to believe some folks are still in denial about that…

Anyhow, for the moment, here’s a link to gori’s queer filim festival vids (click the text na?) aur here is ek link to the revver playlist with some accha Pink Sat aur Pride vlogs, aur finally, here’s ek link to mehri 160+ vids in general- wow! Goal is to get 600+ vids total up & running. I do deeply appreciate if you can watch gori vids directly on revver.com (if you don’t have the link at any point in time lol, go to revver.com, put ‘goriji’ in the search, & you’ll see a disorganized list of sub vids that way na?) Soonish there will be individual links on yeh blog to everything (u can see a few of the older ones on the vids pages right now at bottom of the pages list <– to ur left on this page…) Please do go to the vids directly via this blog or revver sirf, because if you go via google, u’ll find that many affiliate vids (not hosted directly on revver) are hacked (yep, psycho M1M again) so they don’t fully load, in some cases have been replaced by other vids, say they’ve been removed for ek ‘violation’ (although revver confirmed it’s a hack) or worst of all for gori, may not be reporting back your clicks properly (which means I don’t get paid, not that gori’s made any $$ to speak of yet lol.. but still hopeful)!

So there’s the dirt. For the ambitious, u can click on yeh ‘desi’ gur dil icon link on any revver page of gori’s vids, then access various organized playlists from the bar at the left of that page na? :) Shukriya everyone for watching mehri vids! :D

BTW (since we don’t want the gori-lurking yaaron to feel left out)- did u know that gori is having yeh kam contest? Deko gori’s week 13 cafe lurks (hint hint: parts char AUR *panch* na? Panch has the naughty bits!) If u can out-foil (lol) yeh M!M ulloo hacker, u can get some fun kam prizes from gori na? I’m serious… phir bhi, no one has succeeded at this challenge yet! hmm… grand prize is lund ka chus (I’m sooo serious na?) So check it out!

OMFG I can’t get this out of my head:

“Deko, deko

hai shaam buri diwani

Dheeray, dheeray

ban jaye na koi kahani…

dilbar hai dilkash hai

dildar nazaray hain

aaj zameen par utnay kitne sitare hai

atlo hosh na mi damaan

hum hai dil hai aur janam

bas diwaniki diwaniki diwaniki hai

na kohi rahe sam rahe par

yeh ilzaam lagay kispar

bas diwaniki diwaniki diwaniki hai”

(..uh ok maybe it’s really ‘deewaangi’ phir bhi.. kuch bhi.. also isn’t janam = sanam? kya? ..confused gori.. not to mention the Urdu or whatever that is lol)

(use total fake overly-nasal wishing u were Amrikan accent here:)

“All hot girls put your hands up & say:

‘Om Shanti Om’

All cool boys go on make some noise & say:

‘Om Shanti Om’

Om Shanti Om

Om Shanti…”

(repeat loop in gori’s delirious head unendingly lols…)

Stay tuned because gori has had a serious revelation about starting some sort of interactive desi club for queer aur straight desis together.. hmm… maybe with Indian restaurant food rating contests, aur ‘which Bolly filim scene IYHO is the worst in terms of overall execution’ competitions, (for prizes of course!) ..hmm… some variation of the interesting-sounding shaadi.com ‘lock & key’ parties (lekin how to make something that can insert :P both genders uh… I might be getting myself in deep (no pun intended) here).. well anyhow, let’s just say I’m inspired! Gotta make some community in person & get around the psycho ex somehow na? Well see if this goes anywhere or if in a couple of days gori is saying ‘what was I thinking?’ ;) tee hees…

K now drink some water (bahut pani) aur get to sleep early.. unless ur in India/South Asia elsewhere, in which case may this find u safe & well, u’ve then had another nite’s sleep than all of us SF mein, so u might be actually sober by now.. lols! :)

Happy belated Pride jis! :)

naya Sri LKS questionnaire na? :)

Good afternoon peeps..

Well, the blog has been slightly neglected of late, due to some earlier M1M hacking issues, my own financial dilemnas, aur of course, the fact that most of mehri energy is going into revver vids these days ;)

So now we have something sort of exciting, to break the monotony… yeh naya ‘Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar?’ questionnaire! yey :)

There’s sirf (approx) dus questions this time.. be sure to take the *naya* (new) version, but ONLY if u are willing to give gori a phone number aur ek link to an online pic of urself (from Facebook or wherever) ;) If u just want to amuse urself & are not serious about dating ur sexy garam gori ;) then u can take the super-long old version of the questionnaire, further down on the same page na? ;)

Oh yeah, don’t forget to check out the naya 4-part video, that’s all about the kub/kya/kyon/kaisay/kuch bhi of dating gori na? :D In case u were wondering…

Of course, if u don’t wanna give gori ur phone (though it’s via a secure server, so that should help with yeh M1M na?) u can make me hecka khushi by come to mehri cafe lurks.. metlab, meets, & say ‘hi’ tik hai? :D yey…

If u got here from my Craigslist post (the W4M one, I mean.. the hacker has messed with gori so that I can post the same post multiple times, yet it doesn’t appear in the Craigslist search, despite being ‘live’ with a URL.. he then ‘flags’ my posts that no one can actually see, repeatedly.. <– even this post about how you can see my posts doesn’t show in the search! (Click the links in those lines to see various ‘flagged’ & hopefully a couple of live posts, lol) Go to SF craigslist personals & search for ‘gori’- u’ll just see my ex pretending to be various RnR hecklers & some other random cheez.. none of these posts are there na?

Can’t wait til he’s in jail, but I digress…. u might want to mosey on over to my account at revver.com, where I’m also goriji na? ;) That way u can see/hear gori’s diwaniness virtually, via mehri vids especially directed at this dating gori cheez, before deciding to aao to the cafe & bring me my fave phool(on? iyan? ay? kuch bhi): tulips (especially white or lavendar ones), daffodils, larkspur/delphinium, aur sunflowers na? :D yey… well u never know na? Sri LKS (aur possibly Crorepati) might just show up with some ;)

K peeps, as soon as gori can say ‘financial problems = over’ :D we’ll be seeing some proper updating of sub blog pages.. til then, keep an eye on Revver, where I’m at approx 140 vids & counting! yey! :)

Pyar jis! Aur jaldi karo na? I need to be getting to that garam kam cheez aaj ;) Sitting around here typing is boring :P ;) :D

..another post by gori for Daison! urgent! :(

Well, it looks like some of my attempts to contact Daison via this blog have been messed with :( As in, some of my front page posts have been altered, shukriya yeh M1M again :(

Note to everyone: soon we’ll have proper links to all of the nearly 100 goriji Revver videos here na? For now u can content urselves with the pages at the left, near the bottom of the pages list, or go here to see all the gori Revver videos to date (use the playlists on the left to see them in a more organized fashion tik hai?) :) Lekin no time for that now… because gori’s busy attempting to eradicate yeh M1M from her life, under some not-so-khushi circumstances na? this leaves us with..

Note to Daison: these are videos to you, mehri jaan, (at begining of playlist- or scroll to bottom of this post) in case u didn’t see them before the links on the FP were erased by you-know-who. I just dreamt about you again last nite, I’m hoping like heck ur either back in the SF area or about to be, gori needs ek kamra-dost (ek ghur-dost ? lol uh..) badly, plus I need to know on the lengha/sari cheez aaj, or sooner lol… it’s at a point of total crisis for me… PLEASE come find me at the cafe (or send someone) any Fri between 4:30-6pm.. please…

This is the latest vid Daison (click here)- watch this first :) Sorry to have to communicate this way, lekin I have no choice at this point. Please try to leave msgs on my phone Daison, but of course don’t assume anything got through unless you speak to me directly. My phone is off almost all the time now because of the idiot :( hacker moron. I need your help! It’s really really really really urgent! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here’s the links to the vids I made for you so far, most recent/important at the top… pyar mehri jaan.. I pray you’ll be back here soon.. I need your help desperately! ugg :(

gori video for Daison teen…

gori video for Daison do :P

gori vid for Daison ek

HELP JI!!!!!!!!!! Jaldi karo- mehri mushkilon sunarawala dost :P jaldi karo please!!! eeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkk :(

gori’s piece de resistance: Sri LKS video na? :) (that’s French/Hindi, but it’s in English for Southies! lol)

Tik hai jis…. gori appears to be semi-under siege by hackerwala again here.. lessee here- mehri baap’s bank account, mehri Mini rental account (argg… can’t get groceries lol), hmm.. mehri pizza order :( sigh… not to mention my last try at posting in CL personals lol.. aur lots of other bahut strange cheez is happening aaj… sigh again…

Phir bhi.. we’re gonna all cheer ourselves up now by watching gori’s final, perfect (well, nothing’s perfect lekin).. try at explaining the impossible: this Sri Lumba Kala Sundar yaar (= dude) I’m seeking, seeminingly endlessly.

Are you a Southie or other non Hinglish-deciphering type? Well check it na? I mean, check this out! I finally managed to speak in English enough peeps can figure out WTF I’m saying… so if ur garam (= hot), bahut kala (=very very dark = yum!) :D and optionally, quite lumba (= tall) with possibly wiggly hair (= see gori video for explanation lol) or if you know someone like this (check at bottom of acchi comments page for nice bahenji sending the profile of ek dost (a friend) who might be a potential Sri LKS- gori welcomes this type of thing but u might have to do it in person, thanks to the stalker/hacker ex messing w/my comments lol I digress…) anyhow.. I welcome third party recommendations na? (= ok? lol)

So here u go, the new Southie-friendly version of

Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar (=Mr Tall-Dark-Handsome)?:

gori’s sexy very dark Southie BF (in English! ;) pt 1

gori’s sexy very dark Southie BF (in English! ;) pt 2

gori’s sexy very dark Southie BF (in English! ;) pt 3

Or if you wanna see the entire Sri LKS & related funny cheez gori videos playlist, click here :)

If ur not into all this gori dating stuff, & just want a good laugh, then watch this instead lmao…

gori sings Ghajini ‘Rangola’, yeh Surya Tollywood filim song na? :P

or this lmao:
gori sings SRK Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, yeh purani Bollywood filim song na? :P

see what ur missing? Go to gori’s naya videos page to see more.. lotsss… more!

Meantime, be sure to come see gori at the cafe meets every Friday! whoo! :) Laters… off to learn the rest of Rangola (I’m sure you can’t wait, na? roflmao) :D pyar jis!

Daison, still trying to find you mehri dost.. please read! :(

Tik hai.. this is a note to mehri Dost, Daison, again :P Everybody else can proceed to the next post lol :P Unless ur really bored.. or happen to know him…

Daison, I think u might have gotten my last email attempts? :D I’m getting hits on my blog stats that look like you(?) :) ? Obviously yeh M1M (u know who, the crazy ex loser) is going nuts again so if you’re writing/calling etc.. I haven’t received anything from you (still)..

I’m trying frantically to find out when/if ur coming back, also I’ve been trying to ask u about mehri kamra-dost ;) (sorry I don’t know how to say that properly) situation, plus obviously yeh rupiya situation is bahut bura still…

Suniye.. if u see this.. u can use the way we originally met ;) (u can find links elsewhere here if needed).. anything u write I will be able to see, so write me a letter that way please…  u don’t have to go very far… just write in the 1st place u find then stop.. do u follow that?  ;) Then hit my blog a whole bunch again the same way (again, assuming that’s u na?) so I know to look for it.. hopefully u can figure that out :) BTW mehri phone is off now, like 90% of the time, shukriya yeh bura diwana ex-sanam again..

I dreamt about you the last few nites.. I had a very cool sapna that u came to my cafe meet & helped me with a bunch of important cheez… I hope that’s right cause I need ur help as u know. I really hope what I’m seeing on the blog is u & not the M1M fooling around. Pyar… I’m thinking of you… please try to get someone to come to the cafe & give me ur info on when u’ll be back, what phone to reach you at, etc… Also u can try leaving msgs on my phone but remember that the ulloo will intercept them so.. I would leave wk # sirf if so.. I miss u! Bring bahut gunday Hyderabad se to nuke yeh M1M in ur suitcase with u on the way back tik? lol :P Pyar mehri jaan :)

tik hai.. end of personal note to yet another dost lost to the stalker/hacker.. resume normal blogging abi :D tee hee :P *sigh*

gori’s khushi masti videos + naya Sri LKS search ;)

Arei! Are you coming to gori’s cafe lurks.. uh ‘meets’? There’s one every Friday na? Link at the top of this page has a map, for the clueless lol :)

So… for the truly adventurous.. (ahem).. u can even sign up to be a willing victim in ‘the bet’ (ha, gori is doing something bahut bahut masti nashai na?).. check out the video here:

Be sure to spread the word! Jaldi karo.. ek madham (lol) sirf… u know u annoying voyeurs who lurk wanna see mehri Sardarji dost khushi.. uh, metlab, humiliated! Sure, that’s it! ;) So anyways, be sure to check mehri naya (Southie translation: my new) video pages.. the main page is here. They’re still under construction, so be patient! Much more vid is also being uploaded, check the Sri LKS ki sapna (Southie translation: Mr Tall-Dark-Handsome of (gori’s) dreams) playlist for some bahut bahut bahut funny stuff I’m uploading as we speak.. which will include gori trying to sing Tamil (ha, in ek week’s time I’m now a big fan of Surya, sorry I said he has ‘man-titties’ earlier roflmao..) he’s bahut garam na? (Southie translation: very hot, isn’t he?) Ha I’m really (phonetically, poorly) singing Ghajini ‘Rangola’ here :D roflmao! Also here is gori singing ‘Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani’ (froflmao) with some more ‘Rangola’ thrown in.. :D can’t stop laughing :P..  at least I actually know the words (mostly) to that.. aur talking about crying while listening to Jana Mana kuch bhi aur Jaya Hind! (Southie translation: India Naadu & Tamil Thai Vazhthu) ;) (no joke.. sniff..) lols :P

See how nice gori is? I’m translating carefully for those dusky ;) garam Tamil Telugu Mallu Kannada etc… etc.. Southie individuals who don’t/won’t speak Hindi na? :D In a redoubled effort to meet mehri Sri LKS pati/BF/gur baap kuch bhi! :) (um: not sure I want to translate that fully lol… my new BF or eventually husband, um.. etc..) who is of course, bahut kala (very dark!) cause gori is an adamant Brahmin supremacist/skin-bleach/left-over British racism resistor.. besides, I think dark, dark, did I say VERY DARK :D (yum! swoon!), especially tall, especially very tall lol.. desi guys are f’ing hot! :D yey :) there, I said it Angrezi mein, tik hai? (in English, ok?) Now come & check out gori! Jaldi karo! (Hurry up) before one of the other 1/2 billion+ of you snatches me up :D Pyar jis! (gori slang for: love, everyone!, well kind of..) :D ;) :P

gori made 10K hits in 6 mos! Aaj, let’s eradicate yeh M1M! :(

UPDATE: this video is for Daison! Still trying to reach u yaar! *sigh* :| Mehri M1M goonday kaha hai na? lol…

First cheez first tik? Gori wants to thank all her loyal aur garam desi yaaron readers- I made mehri goal of over 10,000 blog hits in the first 6 months! :) Pyar jis! :D Shukriya bahut na? :D Abi, yeh hits are now getting divided up between here aur Revver.com, where gori has a burgeoning vlog going (over 3000 hits in 2 months from 30 vids..), on subjects like filim reviews (including ek massive plot spoiler series for naya Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay filim releasing later this month na?), making of garam slideshows, mehri bura diwana ex-sanam, aur upcoming vids comparing various Mini Cooper features (once gori figures how to get around Revver’s incredibly laughable need to flag mehri Mini Cooper vid for ‘copyright infringement’ (ROFLMAO) :P for having ‘Uyirin Uyire’, yeh Tollywood filim song, playing on the stereo in the BG lmao..) may have to move those to You Tube, where you can see the whole Tamil Nad filim vid as per below.. gori “reviews” it :P in voh paragraphs below bhi na?) lol… plus coming soon: free psychic readings! (with video answers na? Angrezi mein tik? lol.. told u gori is ek diyan tee hee) ..

Meantime, gori has been offline at least 80% of the last 4 weeks na? Despite furious effort to the contrary… ugg… yeh M1M is now the subject of ek video series by gori on Revver na? lol :P (In case u didn’t figure it out yet, if u hover over the links u can usually see yeh page it will take u 2.. if u click.. it will take u there na?) :)

…aur you thought Bollywood is dumb na? Gori pyar bahut yeh song ‘Uyirin Uyire’ phir… tik hai? Check yeh vid for urselves na: Kaakha Kaakha ‘Uyirin Uyire’ BTW they forgot in the You Tube comments to mention that ‘Kakka’ (besides being maternal uncle Hindi mein, is unfortunately also ‘sh1t’ in Spanish bhi na.. spelled ‘caca’.. tee hee… kuch bhi…) WTF with the metal-face back-up dancer yaaron :P (doing disco hyper-fast in plastic shirts) turning into Tamil Nad national flag colors pirates with weird mouth gags & female-style bandeau tops.. :P turning into bloody graveyard zombies in jeans, na? :D Is the female lead allowed to ‘kiss’ the chubby dude who changes his hair cut more than his outfits in this vid because they are really married in real life na? :P Whatup with the crazy hand/arm moves on yeh yaar on the tree branch (right after the metal-face zombie dancers), or the bandage/fashion accessory on his hand towards the middle na? Dang! :D Wait- better yet- the bowl cut with bangs (fringe to u peeps) :P to go with the weird hand bandage thing na? Aur u thought SRK is cheesy na? lmao.. If gori chased someone for that long (or got chased, hint hint) :P she might want more than kunjum kunjum kiss na? :P tee hee.. BTW do all Tamil yaar wrinkle their eyebrows like that? Or only this yaar + gori’s ex? Please enlighten tik? At least this guy is kala enough for gori :D unlike yucky goray Bolly heros :D mmm… except maybe Ajay Devgan lol.. The chick is hot in purple at the end na? ;) Except where did her tennis shoes :P needed to run through all that slate(?) or kuch bhi go? Like when she sort of subjugates her pati with her leg? She’s barefoot then.. notice? roflmao… :P

Just an observation.. meantime, here is gori’s open video letter to Tamil villager yaar ex BF (Agasthi! hello! did u actually steal gori’s Mini Cooper deposit or was it yeh M1M? Inquiring minds want to know!).. :P this is part of a series of vids on how gori is trying to flee yeh M1M hacker/stalker, who has been on ek ENORMOUS rampage lately… poor gori na? Click here to see the playlist of the whole series of vids lol… & click here to see the playlist on mehri weekly cafe meets in downtown SF na? :) Not off to a great start lekin I’ll be there next week, & all weeks thereafter.. see u there! :)

An aspiration of gori’s is to start ek page (if the eye strain ever stops enough to update what’s here lol).. with other peeps with websites using their own unintentional hybrid languages etc.. lol… Plus other funny cheezay.. cheezon.. uh.. kuch bhi.. anyhow..

So here’s the website du jour.. just to show u yaar how gori is BAHUT unlike yeh other goron na? :P For example: I have never stepped foot in a Target (though gori has a ‘white trach’ lmao dost who pyar Tar-zhay bahut.. always wondered why) aur gori hasn’t seen ‘Sicko’ (because it was sold out at the filim festival where it played na? .. sirf reason..) phir bhi I know sub stats on socialized health care from being ek self-employed person badly in need of it, yet lacking it tik? Will admit that yeh yuppie baap aur ma did let us drink wine occassionally as bachchiyan na? :P roflmao.. tik hai tik hai.. gori San Francisco se na? Lekin for 20 years tik? gori nahin pasand voh yuppian hai na? :( However, I do hang out in the Castro (for majority of those years na? aur have tons of gay dostay.. being bi myself tik?) hmm.. aur gori doesn’t own ek TV either na? (Wow, are there other peeps like that? Sub yaaron make me feel like a freak for not having one… lol).. wait a sec here.. what’s this about filim fests (aur liking weird/obscure other cultures filims lmao? aur sushi na?).. :| tik phir I hate dogs, don’t know who TF Michel Gondry is, hate sports, am OVER brown ladkay fetishising voh Asian ladkiyan (more than gori na? hmmpph! tee hee…) & actually realize how racist Japanese ppl (from/in Japan, nahin ABCJs na?) are.. plus gori hates other goron entirely na? Especially the ones who they talk about here :P Nothing like u ABCD coconuts! :P lol…tee hee.. What is gori talking about this time? Check it out: Stuff White People Like lmao… nahin, gori doesn’t resemble this at ALL tik? lols…

Be sure to aao to the cafe meets tik? No lurking na? :) U know u want some garam gori nasha hai na? It all starts with ek conversation.. aur don’t forget: sub dostay aur ppl with resources (comp geeks/IT ppl, legal help, extra cell phone (minus SIM na? sirf cell phone plastic lol) donators) or anyone else desi-minded invited hai na? pyar! :D


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