goriji ;)

Mehri Sri Lumba Kala Sundar kaha hai? lol :P

Happy Valentine’s Day.. Er, make that Leap Day ;) (PS this is really late!)

(So as you can tell by the subject matter, I’m posting this a tad bit later than I wrote it.. Hey I’m homeless & hacked like 90% of the small amount of time I can get online so… be forgiving na? Better yet: *donate*! TUSM)

Ok I’m NOT even going to go into the hypocritical sexually repressed nitemare of the Karnataka WOMEN & CHILDREN’S WTF minister w those other idiots watching PORN- BJP ppl watching porn is like Republican born-agains getting multiple abortions.. Er.. then again… the hypocritical ‘Pope’s choir boys sextrafficking den’ style saga is well.. NOT the actual subject of this blog, which doesn’t really actually have a subject. Needless to say conservo Hindus acting like the pathetic fundamentalist Muslims who tried to traffick me is fully sad. Nuf said.

So I was wading through the nitemare of a year’s worth of (scant, but surprisingly, present) stats for this blog while it had lie fallow for like 2 yrs. Sorry but WTF? (or more like: WMR?) Someone was repeatedly searching for ‘funny alpaca’ and better yet, Nehru vs. fast food 1950s hat 😛 in my old WMR surveys.. In other words, What’s More Retarded? 😉 I heart the now-deceased Michael Jackson vs. Sai Baba pair 😛 See, if you- yes YOU desi yaar (translation: Indian/South Asian dudes) who may or may not be part of the apparently very extensive network of pardesi goonday (rough translation: expat/now living in the US-South Asian thugs/criminals) who are a major reason I’m in this fix to begin with- if YOU decide to donate even a few bucks of your IT salary to helping ur gori outta this mess, you can be checking out funny stuff like those WMR surveys here again, instead of me looking like crap, whining about living in the street. (Try sleeping on cement in the cold for even just 1 night in wintery San Francisco in your (very dirty) clothes, *then* we’ll talk! Much less with a chronic illness, 2 cats and goonday chasing you all over!!)

And you know you wanna see me looking all garam/sexy (or at least an approximation of such) in some new videos, na? And all you film buffs wanna see me struggling to keep up with making film reviews for my usually busy schedule of SF film fests throughout the year (with focus as per usual on desi, Arab, queer, cool/progressive/environmental docs, other great international film)! While I’m giving my pitch, you also know you wanna at least think about donating enough cash to purchase a small ‘extra’ role in the Soufi and Me film (or at least tell other, less stingy co-workers about it 😉 (see perks on the right hand side). Of course, if you hang around this blog long enough, you can prolly just get to be an extra (what goonda doesn’t want to play one in a film, then disown it?) in the ‘Soufi & Me’ feature, though this film is never gonna happen without some generous person or people stepping up & helping me out of this bind.

As you may note below, once I mistakenly thought I’d overcome my eviction a couple of years back (we’ll cover this saga in pieces, since it’s more digestible that way- and plus, why give away the entire film plot? 😉 ) I began to announce I was plunging head first into a sort of crowd sourcing version of the film, with no real resources whatsoever. (Estimated budget for the ‘Soufi & Me’ feature is currently minimum $500K and more likely $1M- this is considered a ‘low budget’ feature film in the US- as I note, are SRK films like ‘My Name is Khan‘ when shot in SF at least.) BIG mistake as this set forth the mafia goondas (still hidden from my now wary eyes- yet in full view) in an evil plot that had my ex-landlord’s MS-13 (hint: scary murderous Latino gang) brother & his henchmen make certain I was summarily deposited on the street, despite having just paid over $12K in back rent. My bad, thinking my working class, Muni employee head of household (an UTTERLY corrupt SF city department, and we won’t even get into BART) run Latino immigrant family landlords with small kids who had been great to me would let the drama rest after a mere $12K- or maybe it was more like $14K in cash? Worse yet, former Mayor Gavin Newscum’s personal creepy crooked lawyers got into the mix in a super not-legal manner, along with what end up being some very crooked SF ’county’ sheriff’s deputies (in case you’re wondering on Mirakarimi getting destroyed by same while trying to take office- the mob running that dept apparently thinks he’s a little too legit & therefore are trying to rid themselves of his presence).

Of course you probably DON’T care, assuming you’re some apolitical IT geek desi yaar, but at least Indians can relate to the level of corruption I’m referring to here, something utterly hidden from view to the normal San Franciscan. I was completely clueless about these rakshas thuggees (evil thugs) despite having lived in San Francisco contiguously for over 20 years, and worse yet, despite them silently targeting myself/my multi-millionaire, mentally ill father & rest of immediate family for at least that long. But I digress..

So the point is, I‘m NOT talking about the film or anything else right now, at least not in the amount of detail, in terms of progress, I was earlier. Once I have some cash & am able to do something with it, I will however be giving updates on the indiegogo videos which serve as part of my ‘pitch’ for each round of crowd funding, which in my case only last a few weeks each. Again to be clear, I’ve currently got 3 pitches going simultaneously, none of which will make me any cash unless YOU humble reader get involved & send the links to your entire email list (shukriya bahut! =thanks much!) if you could be so inclined to do so as my online time is extremely limited (being homeless with kitties n all- I need enough cash to stay in cheap housing- like a motel or trailer in order to have access to electricity & wifi) so I am at present unable to let many people know what I’m doing- until you terminally gossipy desi ppl (and others, I’m not ignoring non-South Asians reading this! Feel free to help- lol) go around telling everyone ‘Yaar, look what happened to this poor gori’ etc 😉 And for once, I thank you all for your big mouths 😉

So again, my 3 crowd funding links are here (note that they change every few weeks, and each one has a different updated video of me looking like shit so gossip on!) Here’s links to the first few rounds (now finished) so you can see the video comparisons (in some, not all) of how I look now vs. before this crap happened to me. Sorry they are super-long redundant rants with horrible sound. I’m literally exposed to such constant noise 24/7 that I couldn’t find anywhere to edit them that I could hear, hence the mistakenly loud audio.

From now on newest rounds with newest videos will be over there à at top of the 3rd column, for your perusal. Hackers willing, it should be the latest set of links. Again, if you want to see vid of how horrible I look now by comparison to before, just click over yonder. I’m working on getting my old videos back up, the last site IMHO was bought by another goonda who apparently ripped off his contributors (I remember revver people talking about some type of class action lawsuit at the time) and let the thing go belly up, perhaps deliberately. It looked for awhile like you could still access them intermittently.. If so they would be here: goriji.revver.com

Last time I tried to make a page of my videos else wise, it was hacked for months while I was locked out. As we know, my (also mentally ill) desi ex-fiance Samir has had a huge hand in all of this. Turns out his family is also goonda, big surprise I know. If there ever ends up being a Sri Lumba Kala Sundar (ghetto gori way of saying: Mr Tall Dark Handsome) out there who IS legit and NOT a goonda (cos seriously, I have fed buddies, minute I figure out you’re full of shit I’ll go straight to them, so don’t bother if you’re involved in crime in ANY manner, ANYWHERE)- but anyhow you never know, maybe my dream kala is out there somewhere after all 😉

K that’s where I ended this er, rant, er blog entry, written quickly on BART whilst trying to nap among commuters early one morning. Hope you like it so far! Working on a proper separate page for the ‘How to Eat for Free in San Francisco’ chart (in last blog entry (for now) below). Namaste jis & please add me on twitter (currently used ID): @SoufiandMe. See you there!


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