Arei jis… mein gori hoon, craigslist se.. or at least that’s how a bunch of you desi yaar.. uh yaaron lol.. know me by now😉 Well I’ve been hack3d so much by *someone* (ek bahut irritating someone) very much known to me we won’t mention, that I’ve decided to start mehri very own blog instead, out of frustration @ not being able to actually use a public forum like CL without being stalked😦 Were I quite a bit more wealthy, I could actually DO something about this, legally speaking.. lekin, gori isn’t na? lol. The hack3r/stalk3r has gone to great lengths to keep it that way, to have continual access to me as an unwilling victim, for long reasons I’ll bore u all with laters.. meantime…
Tik so first of all, if you don’t already know about me, I’m the gori (real gori na= mein goron hoon, nahin Hindustani na? .. Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani, to quote SRK lol😉 ) ..who’s always speaking funny but poor Hinglish (the legacy of various desi ex-sanam who promised to teach me Hindi, which of course to Indian guys = ‘I’ll say anything to get you in bed, then make NO effort whatsoever once I’ve done so’ lol.. u get the idea😉 ) Therefore the most I learned was way way back from mehri dost Manoj (I hope he sees this- r u still in Atlanta, mehri dost? lol) who basically never succeeded on that count, but definitely tried to (literally) chase gori around his apt. alot in the process of teaching me to read/write Devanagari script. If I can figure out how to load whatever widget I need to write in Hindi here, I’ll show u my even funnier Hinglish (or really, Angrindi lol) in Devanagari na? Then again, I’m not sure if Manoj ever divorced?😛 So I should probably shut up lmao.. Lucky for me all desi names are so common, I can name even full names & each of you could rightfully claim that’s ‘someone else’ in the same city even, na?)😉 So u’ve got a pre-made alibi there in case biwi ends up reading this somehow lol..
Tik hai, the most important cheez to know about gori is that I’m on a seemingly endless search for yeh Sri Lumba Kala Sundar. I never stop talking about him lol😛 Being ek diyan, I’ve had ek sapna a few months ago where I actually *saw* yeh ladka, I could see his face exactly, see how very lumba he is, & see even his wavy/wiggly hair (that is found sometimes in a ponytail, in case u happen to be him lol). To gori’s surprise, he was wearing yeh sort of hipster/cheezy designer wire-rimmed (gold-colored) small rectangular glasses, aur was bahut thin.. at least compared to curvyji (shukriya Sumesh for that naam lol) gori na?
This revelation (I rarely dream about real people, even ppl I currently know, when I do, it’s usually somewhat prophetic), only encouraged me to continue to try to find this person, when basically all hope had pretty much run out.. the revelation that he is both tall aur *thin* & having at least reading glasses made me all the more convinced this is a real yaar na? Because if I would have just made him up (ideally speaking) in my head, he would be so kala he would be like the color of Kali Ma na? Matte black skin.. yum.. aur he wouldn’t be so thin, or have this slightly geeky look with the glasses & sort of stooping slightly to look down & talk to the shorter folks (I think he’s like 6’2″ or even taller lol).. He would be more like with wide shoulders.. mmm.. thinking of a photo of yeh desi yaar gori got CL se recently.. sexy Fijian-type shoulders ko (ka, ki? ugg.. I can’t figure out the postpositions, much less the dang verbs!).. of course that person right now I’ve lost touch with also, shuk yeh psycho stalk3r for that as well.. Anyhow, just to say that mehri ideal Sri LKS would have been bahut bahut kala aur a bit more stocky, no glasses but a sort of very debonair Bollywood air to him lol! plus would *stand up completely straight* (now u know I’m really Angrezi, hai na?).. tik.. anyhow, I’m convinced he’s yeh real person, yeh crorepati pardesi who lives in London (or Switzerland for all I care lol) & comes to San Francisco (where gori is) on business quite often. Aur possibly 34 aur divorced hai lmao.. or kuch bhi😀 Mehri psychic dost😛 even went as far as to say that he is staying at this specific very yuppie hotel in downtown, near Union Square.. I begged to differ, I thought he stayed in the pretty, Victorian-era old-school famous hotel, she thinks the bahut ulloo, ugly, PoMo, ultra expensive ‘residence suites’ a short distance away…
Either way, I hope it’s written somewhere in the Akashic record😉 that we’ll meet in the lobby of the old hotel (gori is a historical architecture preservationist buff na? Gori hella despises yuppies, & the termites called ‘developers’ that have actively destroyed the majority of what was once a gorgeous, creative & much more diverse city in the all too long 20 yrs she’s had to observe it… no I’m not saying I’m 20yo sillies.. I’ve lived in SF 20 yrs na?).. anyhow, once in recent weeks gori even thought she saw a fleeting glimpse of him in yeh hotel, ducking out a side door she never realized existed til that day..
Which leads me to one of my side pages I’m about to create: yeh garam desi sitings🙂 Sort of like CL ‘Missed Connections’ except now u’ll know who wrote it na?😉 I saw do different garam ladkay when I was near Powell Muni & Union Square yesterday.. so I’ll start with them & the others I can remember na? Plus all the kala Mercedes SLK sitings lmao.. because gori is convinced that’s the latest gadi (gardi kuch bhi) he drives.. of course since he’s yeh crorepati, he could have ek gaadi (?- I usually write gari.. actually) like that na? lols..
Which leads gori to the last cheez for aaj… wait is aaj today or is it that weird word metlab ‘yesterday’ aur ‘tomorrow’ at the same time na? I forget lol😛 Anyhow, obviously as this blog (hopefully) gets going, if anything weird happens (from it going down/getting defaced to being spoofed/rude commentary etc.. well I’ll stop there.. we don’t want to give yeh ulloo too many ideas).. the presumption is I’ve been hack3d, & will be back eventually.. sigh😦 Here or elsewhere.. just to tell everyone that possibility surely exists, up front..
Tik, I wish so bad I was in Mumbai.. or anywhere India mein really.. to see all the Ganeshas🙂 lekin I’m stuck here… I’m also bummed that my real name, ‘gori’ was stolen by someone blogging in Spanish lol.. oh well.. tik mehri sexy sanam🙂 I’ll be back, with any luck!😛