K tweeps here’s a (very late, gratuitous) Oct entry to the blog. I (for 1^st time ever na?) stayed home, didn’t go out (what w/demise of Castro Halloween etc..) & instead did buri nizer er.. shap ..er kuch bhi against voh evil donwalas lol In actuality it took me til last nite (writing this mid-Nov, cheating on post date lol- it’s new moon in Scorpio to finish said evil diyan curse on the organized crime elements who r giving ur gori hell.. er, were, past tense, we now hope

But I digress.. also there was a Fri the 13^th (in Nov) a few days back-tho I’d planned on finishing up the shap/sahera/black magick thingy, ended up doing a bewitching pyar spell instead Yet to see the result but hopefully.. Anyhow the drama of evil crorepati bura diwana baap & me being evicted etc.. continues.. of course exacerbated by voh thug ulloos.. who in turn I’m making ek filim about lol

Last nite I finally finished the spell began at Samhain aka Hallowe’en, a fortnight before. With any luck we’ll see bahut mushkilon happening to the criminals & gori finally being free of some old curses etc.. that petty jealous morons graced me with (not ) ages ago.. lekin ur some IT geek reading this who ‘doesn’t believe’ in this stuff na? Just wait n see! U don’t have 2 believe it, I’m believing it for you

Next up (aka proper November blog entry) is a list of character parts for the trailer to my upcoming film, ‘Soufi & Me’.. which if I didn’t already say, is about gori’s such-zindagi (get it? real life experience ka San Francisco thug don maderchodus Metlab: a suspense thriller feature film shot entirely in SF about the Arab mafia who are brazen sex traffickers, & with any luck (plus a little shap/sahera/bruja/hoodoo gonna be nailed by the Fed presently We hope..

At any rate, there’s gonna be tons of Arab (especially Maghreb aka Northern Africa originating, especially Algerian) male parts to cast, tons of goonday (aka gang member) walk on/no dialogue small roles that don’t require any acting experience, and a few small/interesting desi roles, including a Sri Lankan hacker/pimp & a Tamilian ex BF of mine lol.

Speaking of which, I talked briefly with Samrat Chakrabarti on Twitter (he’s promoting his latest film, Bombay Summer, which played at the Third I SF film festival a week or so back) -video reviews to come, still in need of re-homing my 350+ vlog vids after the semi-demise of revver.com.. I’m extremely hopeful he might agree to a small cameo in the film (btw there are two other desi male roles in the same scene, which is a humorous one Just FYI.. he’s the guy in Kissing Cousins (sorry if links don’t work, not under my control but try ‘goriji’ + film title in google), Loins of Punjab Presents and … Karma Calling and and.. I LOVE him.. he’s fabulous ;)

So get ur roles while their hot, n tell a dost na? Meantime u can see everything gori’s a doin at any point in time here –> that’s meri tweets na? Just join twitter & add me! Be sure to check out my lists, got a great desi list going (including ppl like Shahsi ‘sacred cow’ Tharoor, Rajdeep Sardesai (CNN-IBN) who did the SRK interview below, Karan Johar, Abhishek Bachchan, Vivek Oberoi, Preity Zinta, AR Rahman, lotsa fun regular desi ppl, including some pretty active Pakistan tweeps, etc..) plus lists of films, Arab/Maghreb stuff, human rights & of course, my ‘stop sex trafficking’ feed na? Plus tons more! If u join twitter u can subscribe! Whoo! :P

If u wanna be in the film, see the next blog entry (above this one on main page) for specs on the peeps needed for the trailer shoot, and keep checking here or my tweets where I’m gonna be listing parts (many) needed for the film. Many of which don’t require dialog/any acting experience etc.. which means it’s open to anyone meeting the physical descriptions needed & willing to work for free Please pass the word- especially please let any recent male immigrants from Algeria know (or people approximating such who speak French, Arabic & ideally, Darija- a local dialect which is hybrid of other two tongues) in order to try out for the lead parts- casting coming early Spring!

Meantime on the trailer, need to shoot ASAP in downtown SF.. don’t be shy-tweet me up if you wanna be in the film! pyar y’all! See u on twitter Remember: I’m @gorisf

Basically I’m focusing on a few areas: desi cheez (of course, including Bolly & SRK filim stuff), the hypocrisy of fundamentalist Muslim (oops I almost starting putting hashtags lol) attitudes, aur tweets about my vids (revver.com, voh lame site now owned by some goonda who’s letting it fall apart literally+ not paying anyone boo)- they r gonna be re-loaded onto a functional site ASAP (all 350+ of them & counting na?)..

..plus I tweet bout meri *NAYA FILM* whoo Working title ‘Soufi & Me’ hai na? aka ‘Soufi et Moi’ lol ‘सूफी और मैं’ ‘الصوفي & لي’ etc lol! So there *is* a 2-part vid about my casting needs for this no-budget narrative feature film (to get technical on u there for a minute)- aka u could be famous & not have to really have acting skills to do so but… haven’t posted the vid(s) yet as I’m in the middle of finding a new video hosting site for reasons listed above.

Also, didn’t forget about the (hopefully humorous) acchi desi cheez gori clothing & accessories line (srsly! 2 use twit-speak).. it’s just that.. yeppers, I’m about to get evicted from my ghur (cry!), rent hasn’t been paid since the last blog post, u can see that’s quite a long time. Plus I’m being stalked by such SF goonday na? (Real don peeps eek!)- which is what yeh filim is actually about, besides being a love story

So if u pray 2 any goddesses or gods of any sort, say a prayer 4 gori aaj, tik hai? The donate 2 gori’s Mini Cooper fund link in the archive should still (hopefully lol) work, in case anyone wants 2 donate the extreme amounts of $$$ needed for me 2 stave off imminently becoming homeless *sigh* Or of course, you can donate towards the film, which ideally has a ‘low low budget’ of $500K (basically a budget to keep me housed while writing the script, feed the crew while filming & pay 2 rent a camera/print the film, with little left for anything else In any case, I’m doing the dang film, even if I’m living marg mein instead of ghur mein which is exactly what local thuggees would like to see happen

Oh if I didn’t say, it’s about gori kam trafficking bhi na? So if u wanna be a funder (or just lend gori her back rent $$)- catch me on twitter peeps & I’ll be bahut khushi 2 take any donations lol-or just say ‘hi’! Pyar jis & watch yeh space 4 more details on filim production & lol fundraising attempts!

BTW if ur bored (besides talking 2 me ‘live’ on twitter, u know u wanna, especially the more Tamilian-esque masti Sri Lumba Kala Sundars out there na?) u can check out my very own #Hashtag on twitter: #LHTE, which stands for ‘Learn Hindi Through English’ lmao. Because everyone knows that crappy Hindi book, my theory being that ‘Hinglish’ goes both ways: it’s not just some gora being unable to speak Hindi (or other Indian languages) but also desi peeps being unable 2 properly speak Angrezi na? So enjoy! All typos are directly copied from the book itself lmao!

Will bb soon jis, in the meantime, just read the next column & u got more details than I’m sure u ever wanted lol –>

Belated Khushi gay (uh bi!!!) Pride na? Here’s my rant about lack of Bi visibility to start things off…

gori's bi rant- khushi belated Pride 2009 peeps!

Been hacked for about 9 wks, unable 2 get online 95% of the time, turns out this has 2 do with goonday aka thuggees San Francisco mein, which have been harrassing gori ever since the demise of yeh M1M… augmented by garam Arab yaar & posse, got that?

At any rate, u can now see mehri Twitter feed (add me! @gorisf & say ‘hi’ with a DM or something na? Only if ur not spam tik hai?)

Meantime, basically blogging about the entire SF International Film Fest (<–go there to see my reviews! yey!) plus the Frameline 33 Queer (tik hai, LGBT if you must) film fest (both from SF) got obliterated. As u can see from that link, it’s very very slow going trying to upload the 17+ film reviews from that fest, seeing as I’m hardly ever able to keep a connection going for even 24hrs…

But don’t be sad, u can see gori’s twitter feed, so far with daily updates, to the right –> (or just add @gorisf tik hai?)

If u wanna see gori cry, check out this cool movie review from the Frameline Queer film fest:

gori's 'Edie & Thea' film review from Frameline 33 -SF Int'l Queer Film Fest 2009

If u missed the end of the cafe lurks (reason: mafia peeps like usual), check this out (vid to the right, below)

gori cafe lurk 50+ ..SF thug edition muh... circa 4/09

Gotta jet before the thugs get my connection again! Be sure to keep an eye out 4 gori’s naya filim about garam Arab yaar, gori aur the sex trafficking scammers na? BTW status of gori’s naya desi lounge/club is currently unknown, depends largely on my dost’s willingness to take a risk of thugs trashing his nice new lounge/computer space, since both of us refuse to pay kickback $$$ to them (u thought this happened Mumbai mein sirf na?)

Pyar mehri jaans Be sure to watch my twitter feed to the right, I’m frequently in Union Square (theoretical film location) working on the script/watching thugs go by these days & would love some (non criminal sirf, please!) desi yaar company

PS if ur wondering on the SRK in San Francisco cheez, let’s just say nahin, I didn’t meet him, it’s a little too painful to talk about Meantime, here’s a fellow tweep’s blog about being an extra in one of the last shoots in the North Bay before SRK, Kajal & KJo left for Mumbai *sigh*…

Aur here’s a photo of SRK standing in the EXACT SAME SPOT gori can be found standing at every time she is returning to her house via disgusting filthy BART (just stood there today- actually there’s another photo I can’t find right now of him standing approx where the woman ki sari is to the left, that’s what I mean lol, plus he shot across the street from my old house @Mint Karaoke Bar, plus he shot @CCSF, which I can see from my current place arggggggggggg!!!! <–a digression lol)… at least mujhe samjhe abi that it’s possible that my long dreamt of Bolly-style script starring SRK as a bi male (directed by Karan Johar) taking place on Nob Hill IS a possibility… zindagi bahut strange hai na? Let’s see how my first film attempt goes, then maybe I’ll have a shot at the SRK script na? Cross fingers!

Pyar y’all.. watch the twitter column or add @gorisf to get updates on filims, gori’s whereabouts & the (now ever-present) Arab & other mafia peeps na? Laters!

Race riots have yet to start in ‘White Australia Forver’ (oh that’s Canada oops) phir bhi it should be coming any second now… just like ghetto Pakis UK mein na? Jao! Light them on fire n stuff! Just don’t mess with the historic architecture tik hai jis? Seriously, what a bunch of heinous ferengi na? Beat the crap out of them! Isn’t voh Punjabi Kuchbhi Singh yaar who got sliced in the stomach (one of many, poor thing!) bahut garam na? Wanna marry gori & come to US yaar? *sigh*

At least now gori’s rants about UK/Aus/Canada & other non-US gora colonies being hella racist won’t be as likely to meet with disaffected shrugs by gori’s apathetic desi dostana aaj.. small compensation I know…

So why we’re here.. yeppers, gori is being actually chased now by such goonday na? Incredible but true! Watch for a series of vids on voh suherchod, coming soon to mehri vlog!

BTW (ha jis, gori’s cheating on the date here a little) lekin do u notice how Obama’s 6/4 Cairo speech sounds like some boring college professor’s history/economics/kuch bhi lecture? Worse yet, what about the fact that the audience would only applaud when Obama either a) totally brown-nosed Islamic culture or b) quoted the Qu’ran (with poor transliteration lol).. BTW Obama it’s ‘ISlam’, IZlam nahin na? Guess gori’s garam Arab yaar encounter has opened yeh akon hara to the hypocrisy/narcissicism of Muslims (not to mention the US military establishment) in any case .. Gori’s not caring so much right now, since this is undoubtedly the first time since the artificial creation of the ‘state’ (cough cough) of Israel that an Amrikan pres has actually uttered that sacred word: Palestine.. Palestinian nahin na? PalesTINE jis! Sadly, this is a massive start… Still lovin Obama in any case, if for no reason other than the khushi circumstance of looking at a brown yaar pres yey!

Depending on the level/frequency of hacking (& how busy I get at the SF International Filim Fest na?) this could take anywhere from days.. to months lol Anyhow, in the meantime, please check out yeh choti gori poll ..u can fill in other suggestions at the bottom- make sure they are friendly ones, since I’m sure u don’t want to experience gorigiri na? (aka: buri nizer!) lols… BB laters!

About dus (aka 1/2) of these are desi (South Asian/Indian, that is) films.. whoo! Should be uber-cools As I said in the intro, looks like (cross fingers) gori’s desi lounge (for lack of a better naam, I swear I found the perfect word on google late one nite, & failed to bookmark it lol- can’t even remember the (Indian, of course) language aaj, much less the name itself lol) is *tentatively* coming in approx June.. will be quite exciting!

Anyhow, I’ve made a page that will sooner or later have all the insightful & bahut exciting gori filim review vids (ulloo WordPress doesn’t allow revver.com widgets, sigh)… meantime, it’s basically a link to the revver list. At the moment, you can save urselves time by just going here to see the video reviews (<– that’s a link na?), & after gori deals with the massive hurdles of the hacker loser ex who is still around after 3+ years (mass ragging na?) aur the inherent issues with revver itself du jour, then eventually the thumbnails will be here:

gori’s video reviews of bahut desi & other film from the 2009 SFIAAFF film festival! whoo!

Tik here’s the intro to yeh filim fest:

gori's 2009 SFIAAFF film festival intro na?

Thrilling I know lol Perhaps u’d rather see a couple of diwani vids about gori catching a djinn na? lols… (hover to watch vid w/out clicking through, or click to revver if you wanna see a bigger goriji )…

gori catches a djinn- no sh*# peeps! (pt ek- djinn ka bhai ka garam Arab yaar, that is)

gori catches a djinn- no sh*# peeps! (pt do- djinn ka bhai ka garam Arab yaar, that is)

So I thought I’d be having some fabu naya flyers for the filim fest, lekin it’s the nite before the madness begins & the printer has died sigh… being too broke to pay to print them lols… we’ll see..

Tik in any case get excited, it only took an entire year (shukriya to having no funding to speak of, cept voh goonday that need to be awoided like the plague they are), phir bhi there’s gonna finally be a rocking yummy spot for desi aur desi-friendly peeps to meet na? Plus make DIY Bolly & other vids, etc.. Since gori is looking quite single again… can’t wait to get down to chillin in person over a drink or two with bahut garam ladkay, especially of the Sri Lankan/Tamilian/Fijian & similar variety ha jis?

So see u peeps at the films! & very soon, at mehri own sexy, yummy desi/gori/kuch bhi lounge! Yey!

Tik I admit after I got over complaining about sub flaws yeh filim mein… I started to cry, watching the chotu bachchiyan on the red carpet, going to Disneyland etc… all the while thinking how they are going home to plastic tarps slum mein, ek bachchi’s baap is dying of TB (Earth to Danny Boy(le)- can u possibly bother to get him some TB meds na?).. meantime, ek other bachchi ended up getting publicly slapped by his baap when he was too tired to give interviews after flying home etc…

Gori’s only regret- wish I would have made a more watchable (instead of gundi, wobbly, very hastily shot between filims at Third I desi film festival) vid na?  Kind of tripping on the Academy Award nominations.. so, here’s ek follow-up to the reviews:

gori's ek more for slumdog-jai ho! (pt ek)

gori's ek more for slumdog-jai ho! (pt do)

Aur, original reviews yaha hai for contrast (ha ji, there’s do parts na?):

gori's 'Slumdog Millionaire' (pt ek) film review from Third I South Asian filim fest 2008

gori's 'Slumdog Millionaire' (pt do) film review from Third I South Asian filim fest 2008

For Valentine’s Day na? Gori hopes u were able to awoid yeh Shri Rama Sena (WTF?) suvar chod yaar na? *sigh* Not sure what’s worse, betiyan NWFP mein with no education, or voh ‘moral police’ (lol) bhains chodu na? They need to get laid! badly!

Anyhow, here’s gori’s Valentine to the perpetrators, aur mehri subsequent food poisoning vid (after inadvertently offending yeh Grand Duke at the SF Chinese New Year parade na?):

gori's Valentine's Day greeting to 'Sri Ram Sena' bakachodus

gori got food poisoning for Valentine's Day lekin fu lions to the rescue!

Abi, since the vids on Obama’s election didn’t exactly go up on time lol..

Tik hai… gori sochta yeh video says it all:

Meantime, like usual I’m fighting the hacker- mehri blog hits have fallen into oblivion for the usual reasons: hacker works between sites, so WordPress says ‘Google mushkil hai’ etc… for example… Glad if someone sees this front page, gori’s putting lots of work into it na? Be sure to check the articulate SRK vids about 26/11 aur the stupidity of psycho-Islam as carefully transcribed by gori below (go to main page of the blog if you’re at the link for this post alone)…

Still working on the line of gori merchandise referenced below, haven’t forgotten about the naya desi lounge/club either (update: lounge tentatively starting in June 2009 whoo!), lekin it’s slow going without start-up funding (hint hint hint!! those of you who chaiye ek garam gori ladki to call ur own- help fund the space to meet her.. uh possibly me(?) mein)… tik hai… can u figure out that sentence lol?

Pyar jis! Oh, also a very belated khushi 2009, now that we watched Obama undo about 50% of the evil of the Bush ‘administration’ (cough cough) in the first 24 hours.. aaj, hum proud hain to be Amrikans na? Time to celebrate the end of ek error, er end of a terror.. metlab end of an era na? Out with the hate, in with the love

Speaking of which, Soufi I’m still waiting for your answer habibi

Tik er… Merry Xmas aur khushi (not really) bday to gori na? I noticed lotsa peeps checking out the moti gori Santa vid from last year na? That is, once I finally got online aaj, after being hacked for 3 days (psst the super-secret pword is the last name of the PM -be sure to capitalize the first letter na?) The link is above (yeh ‘sexy secret gori Santa page’ na?) now that gori changed the blog to yeh cozy winter theme.. bahut bariya choochiyan to be found there tik? Lekin be sure to read below once ur done BTW snowflakes courtesy of WordPress.. they melt after Jan 4th, apparently… so meantime gori’s Xmas = sux hard no pun intended lol.. It’s mehri bday today (Xmas day) na? & well, u know if I have time to blog, that cheez isn’t that great na?

Still, to cheer things a little, here are the SRK interviews I refer to in yeh video (see below for highly pertinent SRK Islam quotes as accurately, painstakingly transcribed by gori)- SRK ended up being the ideal ‘moderate Muslim’ I was lamenting about in mehri Bombay blasts videos & has encapsulated very articulately basically all of the important points I was thinking/feeling about the situation, lekin of course it means much more coming from SRK than gori lol…Some bahut cozy/accha person posted SRK’s interview on YouTube in teen parts, here:

I dedicate these videos to Mohammed Bedda, bhai ka garam Arab yaar Soufiane… ‘Momo’ is ek bara SRK fan bhi (remember? yeh yaar who yelled at gori public mein for like an hour about how Sharia law should be imposed San Francisco mein so gori could be killed for choding gAy- garam Arab yaar, ussa bhai na?) Is that how you use the word ‘ussa’ ‘usne’? kuch bhi.. lol Much of what SRK says applies directly to the hypocritical/lame-gaand situation with bhai ka garam Arab yaar.. since SRK is also important to him, I’ll let Shah Rukh make a very pertinent rebuttal to yeh Mohammed bhai, since his words will get much more respect, being a Muslim male n all.. everything below is both very apt in terms of the Mumbai terrorism blasts of last month, as well as being a direct answer to the utter BS you spout about your own religion, Mohammed, vis a vis earlier arguments we had. I hope you see this & at least give Shah Rukh a little respect for saying everything gori has tried to say to you, while I’m apparently ek rundi/kam-slave sirf.. (check the bottom of this post for more on the sucha kam goonday situation.. sigh)

Some wonderfully specific quotes from gori’s transcript of voh teen Shah Rukh videos (some clarification added in italics for any non-desi peeps who may read this- or clueless 2nd gen’ers lol):

SRK: ‘I like to believe I’m an educated, liberal Muslim, who has a Hindu wife and two kids.. the more I’m seeing these kind of things over the years, the more it makes me realize… the vulnerability of life, of course, which we all understand… I think it unites us, tragedy has a strange sense of uniting people.. I get very scared now.. and it could happen to anyone. You know, the whole reality is… it’s not bound by areas, or castes, or creeds, or colors.. it could happen to anyone.’

‘If you can take away any positive from this tragedy, and have some kind of peace in your heart, to be able to look at that- I think the very thing that the terrorists tried to destroy, which is unity, secularism, the economy, and.. just the dignity of the country, I think for the first time we have all come to realize that very thing is actually got (has been) strengthened. The unity has got (sic) strengthened… and I cannot say I’m glad, but I can 100% say, that if you can take away anything positive, that is the biggest positive. They have now given us the biggest weapon against them, and we need to utilize it in the best way possible.. which is unity, across classes, across religions..’

‘You know- can I clarify- I’ve read the Qu’ran, the Holy Qu’ran, and I’m a believer of Islam, because that’s how I am born.. I’ll give you a few verses of Qu’ran, which you need to understand… there is ‘Sura pulse suray moida’ which is a verse from Qu’ran, which very clearly states that if you heal one man, you heal the whole mankind- this is what God says- and if you hurt one man, you hurt the whole mankind. There is *no where* in Qu’ran- see, we believe, Qu’ran is the word of Allah- so there are believers in that book, in that holy book, and I’m very clear if you’re following Allah’s Qu’ran, if you’re following Allah’s Islam, *no where* does it say that you are going to get jennat (salvation, go to heaven) by jihad (holy war aka ‘terrorism’), *no where* does it say that you can kill women- as a matter of fact it says *in a war*, you cannot kill a woman, you cannot kill a child, you cannot kill an animal, and you cannot destroy crops. Very clear: jihad was supposed to be something that was to be propagated by the Prophet himself.’

‘There is an Islam from Allah which is in our holy book, there is an Islam- and very unfortunate, I’m not being ‘auntie’- but there is an Islam from the mullahs. And I appeal to all of them: *please* give the right reading of the Qu’ran to the young people- I do it to (this for) my children- no where in the Qu’ran, which we consider is the word of Allah- does it say that you are going to be given jennat if you kill harmless, innocent people, *no where*.’

(Rajdeep Sardesai from CNN IBN): ‘So they’re distorting religion..’

SRK: ‘Absolutely, see, this has happened for the last 100 years at most, or 120 years Raj, it’s not something (from) a thousand five-hundred years ago.. See I’ll explain it to you- jihad was actually to be called upon by the Prophet himself. And jihad also has a very simple logic- if you go by what is written- that there is debates.(sic) There has to be understanding- either you convince me of your viewpoint or I convince you of mine. And then also if we don’t understand (agree), we’ll go our separate ways. *No way* does jihad say- very very clearly, let me be very honest about it, I’ve read it now, I’ve read it many times over the last 2-3 years- it doesn’t say that you can go into *anybody else’s* territory, you know jihad says that if somebody comes into *your* territory, then you can protect yourself.’

(Rajdeep): ‘..does it then really trouble you.. “Not every Muslim is a terrorist, but all terrorists are Muslim”- these are the kinds of SMSes that have done the rounds at times in.. upper middle class societies..’

SRK: ‘See, I cannot deny it anymore, you know two years’ back, I used to get very disturbed when the Americans said that all the terrorists are Muslim, I would say ‘no that’s not true’. But now I can’t deny it, because 95, 99% of the people who get caught, or who are shot, are claimed to be Muslims…’

‘I think both hardliners- Hindus & Muslims- I think there should be a law in this country: that *no* political party’s agenda can be communal (based on religious separatism). And be it the biggest party, be it the smallest party- *no* organization which is going to mis-read any of the books, whether it is Qu’ran or (Bhagavad) Gita, should be allowed. There should be a hard-line treatment to the hardliners, one. Secondly, I also like to believe at this point of time, that some of us are born Muslim, so some of these guys who got completely mislead- or women also- they are by birth Muslim, but I don’t think that by teaching (they are), Muslim. They’ve been just born that way. The teachings of Islam are as wonderful, as good, as the teaching of Gita. Or of the Bible- they’re all the same. And I think the youngsters (younger generation) understand this much better today, and that’s why I have huge hope in them.’

(on initial emotional reactions of the people of India saying ‘bomb Pakistan’)

SRK: ‘..but I have a huge amount of faith in the goodness of Indians…I think they will understand.. see what I’m sensing- I’m not saying dishonesty- but what I’m sensing is that everybody’s trying to protect (themselves)… ‘Ok let’s not say it happened in Pakistan’ (that the terrorists originated there).. and you can’t completely deny it.. they’re living in denial, and of course, some of us also reacting and saying ‘let’s just bomb Pakistan’- no. I think like I said, the first tenet of jihad, if I was to tell you just as a Muslim, is debate. Let’s sit down, and *accept* the truth. See accepting the truth actually makes the problem vanish. Let’s accept the truth: uh-oh, these guys are being trained there- we’re not claiming the government is doing it, but we’re saying they’re being trained- can the government (of Pakistan) *do* something about it? Yes we can-let’s take outside help, let’s come, and try and finish them off in the best way possible.’

(Rajdeep): ‘Shah Rukh, would you be willing to debate with a fanatic?…be it a Muslim or Hindu fanatic? Are you willing to have that debate?’

SRK: ‘Can I just tell you one thing? I think fanatics have no ground to stand on. It’s very easy to debate with a fanatic. Because I think they’re misinformed.. Any normal, educated, well brought-up Indian or Pakistani can debate with a fanatic from either side, and win the debate very clearly… because I’m again & again saying, if you’re following Allah’s word, if you’re following even Gita’s word, if you’re following the Biblical word, there is *no* tenet anywhere which states this.’

‘See, you & I don’t know what Heaven is going to be like. You & I genuinely don’t know what God is going to be like. But I can assure you of one thing that you & I both know very clearly: that by hurting someone who is innocent, there is *no* way, *no* God in this world is going to be good to you and take you to Heaven.’

‘I see an amazing amount of hope, and I attach it again and again to the youth… here are people who *can* do it, and *will* do it… we have to see it within ourselves, we do respect Gandhiji’s tenets… that yes, do not offer the other cheek. If a guy slaps you, and he says very clearly ‘I’m sorry’, it’s ok, accept it… I’m not saying ‘bomb XYZ’, but you need to take a little hard stance, because they have come to our house. You know, you can’t allow people to come to our houses, and destroy our families, you just cannot, you cannot allow that… There is zero tolerance for terror, and a lack of security, and I think we need to put up organizations in place, and say ‘listen, we will not tolerate this’. And right now I can sense that in the country.’

‘I can’t say we are fortunate, but I think we’re in the middle of an amazing historical event which is only going to make our country very very strong.. I can’t say I’m happy, but I’m at peace, that I’m part of this movement…’

Now that u’ve waded thru all that, be sure to check the latest bahut dhukh series on gAy aur bhai ka gAy aur their scary evil team of naisay gunday na? In case u were wondering how mehri Xmas was ruined (poor gori!) aur how cheez got to this sorry state of affairs

(BTW jis.. as u can probably tell, gori’s having some choti formatting issues abi lol ..phir bhi u can still hover over the vids to watch thumbnails, or click to see the real cheez revver.com site mein na??) accha!

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt ek)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt do)

gori's truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt teen)

gori’s truly evil goonday ka garam Arab yaar (pt char)

BTW WTF on Prop 8 peeps? That does suck… ironic what the stupidity of Christianity among peoples who were conquered & suppressed in its name (uh hello African Amrikan aur Latino Catholic peeps!), can do.. while simultaneously voting in yeh yaar.. JFK pt do na?

our naya global President na?

As garam Arab yaar (aka gAy) told gori this morning, just post the universal election euphoria of last nite:

“..his father was Muslim..” he was smiling..

I added: “Barack (like Mubarak) means ‘blessed’ doesn’t it?”

gAy: “..and Bush killed Hussein.. didn’t he? Saddam Hussein..” with a rare ironic smile..

gori: “Stupid people say ‘Obama’ sounds like ‘Osama’..” (laughing)

A man who basically reps sub major ethnicities (cept Latinos, if u count desis as Asians that is, lol)… suddenly rising to the top with ek fully Muslim naam, kala skin…

gori wonders: was it the earnest prayers of the mass numbers of ‘moderate’ Muslims against the evil tyranny of GW Bush that caused this astoundingly beautiful irony.. uh ‘coincedence’ (not!) to happen? Being ek diyan (that’s saher.. uh.. rawhani… kuch bhi to Arabic speaking peeps)… as a queer-identified staunch feminist.. I’ve nonetheless adopted a position of deep respect for garam Arab yaar’s religious conviction, albeit causing direct conflict between us, as it bears an uncanny resemblance to my own sense of spiritual devotion, just with the beliefs inside out

ek cheez I’ve learned being a bona-fide native of the fine city developers have gutted into the post-dot.com post-mortem San Fran-shit-co…

Diversity aur tolerance na? Goes a long way.

Congrats to the world

Tagged: 2008, acceptance speech, arab, Arabic, barack, barack hussein obama, barack obama, bisexual, blog, boys kissing obama ;), candidate, candidates, Castro, democrat, desi, desi yaar, diyan, feminist, gay, gori, goriji, halloween, Hindi, Hindu, Hindustani, Hinglish, India, Indian, Iraq, islam, mc cain, mc palin, mcpalin, moderate islam, moderate muslim, muslim, news, no on 8, Obama, pagan, palin, prayer, president, presidential, Presidential candidates, Presidential election, proposition 8, queer, rawhani, religion, religious, republican, revver, revver.com, Saddam Hussein, saher, San Francisco, sand sculpture, sf, South Asian, Southie, Sri LKS, Sri Lumba Kala Sundar ;), Tamil, Telugu, US president, video, videos, vlog, vote, wicca, wiccan, witch ]]> http://goriji.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/whoo-obama-ha-jis-we-can-d/feed/ 0 goriji Indians with cells photoing Obama on the beach Hindustani mein obamaindianboyskiss http://goriji.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/election-day-madness-aur-more-gori-vids-yey/ http://goriji.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/election-day-madness-aur-more-gori-vids-yey/#comments Sat, 01 Nov 2008 00:37:33 +0000 goriji http://goriji.wordpress.com/?p=138 ]]> tik hai peeps…

Well, as u can see the updates haven’t exactly occurred, mostly because I was hacked for 3+ weeks from using Revver, yeh video hosting site ki gori

First let me plug myself lol…

A sample of some of the latest gori vids:

gori’s Folsom St Faire review (pt do)

..aur some of the typical cafe lurks lol (u know, Nike slave labor women’s shopping marathon, DAPs (desi Amrikan princesses- is the kam accha with them? seriously? gori thinks not) aur biwi/gf swapping at mehri naya desi club etc..:

gori's cafe lurk 30 (pt ek)

Now that that’s over with lol (can u tell I have about 10 mins to compose this post na?) unless u are a brain-dead moron (like gori’s baap aur ma na?) aur IF u can actually WOTE (what up on the taxation *without* representation H-1 visa cheez na?) ..despite this monopoly on voting by evil insecure bakarchod goras Amrika mein, those of us who can vote have the ability to *wote* for Barack Obama aaj tik? So do it!

Or face the consequences (u can hover to watch a mini version of these pertinent vids (not by gori) lekin showing the consequences of the presidential election by the brilliant reTODDed movies:

Gori’s particularly fond of Palin’s ‘I’m scared of witches!’ figures, na?

Check it out while ur waiting for the election results! Aur waiting aur waiting for gori to fix her blog..

Mc Palin is president! run!

PC Palin v Mac Obama

Meantime go here to see sub gori vids (hint, if you click the ‘date’ tab, u can see the most recent, instead of most popular, albeit in somewhat random order)…

Although I could wax here about our utter lack of a true multi-party democratic system, this limitation being furthered by the retarded, paid-off & pathetic infotainment-oriented Amrikan media machine, instead I’ll give u a simple sound bite since gori’s jaldi karo right now: VOTE for the only candidate lol. Nuf said

Be sure to check out mehri naya vids with gori as Krishna at Samhain aka Hallowe’en, aur as Krishna doing an intro for the upcoming Third I South Asian filim fest whoo! See u there jis!

Gori will be cafe mein, San Francisco downtown mein, yeh Friday aur each Friday as per usual. Feel free to walk by & get lurked…

A small but not entirely gratutious election-related note… SF Gate (the SF Chronimer/Examicle.. oh I forgot, it split na?) is a raging piece of sh** in terms of actual reporting, lekin Mark Mofo is one of gori’s fave columnists.. like gori on steroids na? U might have to get voh ABCD yaar to translate, FOB yaar.. definitely worth bothering with, trust gori Note how bhagvan is female (as per gori’s pagan beliefs) yeh article mein.. Now those of u who can, get ur weird black felt-tip pens ready to fill in those arrows… uh, metlab, WOTE for (gag, yes I’m saying it) Obama! whoo! (gag).. kuch bhi

Choti, nahin bara, addendum: gori was raised by these GOP monsters.. Bobby (metlab: ‘baby’ na? nice naam ulloo!) Jindal mehri gaand… GOP pyar *GORA Chr1st1ans* sirf na? Nahin converted Southie Catholics, nahin coconut yuppie FOBs zooming around in newly acquired Mercs, nahin yeh Sri Kuch Bhi who shaadis gori beti na? Read gori’s lips: sub Repub peeps bahut racist hai na? trust gori: BAHUT Please don’t be so FOB as to be fooled… they are hypocritical racist morons, no matter what they may say, jootwala-style to win ur vote aur use u as a token to convert more non-goras to self-oppression na? (like Catholicism, aur Islam, aur.. I digress) ..about as likely to be genuinely ‘down’ with mehri desi peeps as gori is to be in tight with ur local Imam or voh Shiv Sen goonday na? Just IMHO… so WOTE early aur often! (just reminding ur ABCD dost who translated the article above so gori doesn’t have to remember in Nov) pyar jis!

How diwani can cheez be around gori lately na? It’s been since Gay Pride that I’ve not posted.. uh, wait a sec.. I’m talking like garam arab yaar suddenly lmao.. who is yeh ‘Garam Arab Yaar’, u ask? Notice the acronym: ‘GAY’, which Sri Metrosexual insists he is decidely (supposedly, somewhat homophobically) NOT… despite being in love with his mataji, who apparently bears some superficial resemblance to gori (hello, Freud/Oedipus complex = ‘GAY’, na? (j/k Soufi)

I digress… Besides quite possibly being the source- at least a close 3rd guess after the Olympics aur US Presidential candidate nomination(s)- of gori’s suddenly dropped vlog ratings.. notwithstanding near constant hacking by yeh M1M, the usual suspect.. garam Arab/Algerian yaar has been taking up bahut bandwidth, lekin ‘putting out’ for gori nahin.. so we’re gonna leave that situation for a bit (especially during Ramadan, the period in which gori is apparently prohibited from doing anything meaningful/naughty with Moslem peeps of that ilk anyway, being an infidel n all (psst: <– yeh link is actually for Independence Day na?) aur continue onto more desi-like subject…

So, once again, a total re-vamp of yeh oft-neglected (typically in favor of mehri Revver.com vids) blog here on WordPress is in order. I’ve given up on waiting for yeh M1M to quit hacking me (<–BTW all those links (well, most) are to revver vids, in case ur wondering na? Check out how cool- u can now watch mehri vids voh ‘snap’ preview windows mein by hovering sirf, no need to click over to the revver site -unless of course u wanna see gori choochiyan full size tik hai?- WOW na yaar?) .. aur am just gonna forge ahead with a total update/redo, including a full organization with commentary of the entire (to date) 220+ gori revver vids (goal: 600 vids total by years’ end! whoo!!) We’re gonna see a resurrection of voh ‘What’s More Retarded?’ polls aur possibly even some gori merchandising, in order to help raise paisay for gori’s naya desi club na? I’ve noticed bahut peeps visiting yeh Mini Cooper page, yet not donating na? Don’t worry, the M1M is unlikely to mess with u via PayPal, gori was able in the past to keep her eBay business going & receive payments that way despite yeh ulloo so… feel free to follow mehri suggestion aur donate (sirf, lol) ek dollar for every time u hath ka juggernaut lmao to voh gori vids or slideshows tee hee….

Gori’s Mini is about $40K sticker price (haven’t looked at prices on 2009 models yet.. can’t believe how much $$ has been wasted on rentals when I could just have a proper tricked-out custom gori gaadi na?) poor gori! aur re: yeh naya desi club, j’ai besoin de (metlab: muhje chaiye lol) $120K start-up funding (or $70K on a shoestring budget! that’s US dollars na yaar?)- certainly someone wants to help gori escape yeh M1M hacker by giving her a viable off-line way to make ek living, while creating an uber cool sub desi weekly lounge/cross-cultural (read: goris + desis, aur sub cool peeps) dating venue aur nite club spot na? Even got an incredibly fine SF location already nailed down (shukriya mehri dost Andy, of the up & coming, soon-to-be Rancho Parnassus na?)… just waiting on u peeps to cough some $$ up.. er, feel civically minded & want to be gori’s angel investor, or something like that

So is that enough Hinglish to keep u all khushi for a little bit? Most recently, my vid uploading has gotten quite behind as yeh M1M hacker bakarchod is messing with my audio drivers- I did have audio yeh laptop mein for a couple of days, now the driver itself has apparently been removed (samjhe: WTF? look here if you care about this type of BS lol).. aur I’m sure that in a few days it will magickally ‘re-appear’, just like most of the other hacks yeh sala harasses gori with continually. Interesting aur such kahani: met with yeh retired Fed agent the other day (please, don’t ask lmao).. yeh yaar first person hai to not be surprised or even the least bit incredulous when gori made her best attempt at describing what yeh M1M stalker has been doing (mind you, this includes spying on gori via seemingly turned-off cell phones aur all other manner of truly bizarre cheez). In fact, yeh yaar (without batting an eyelash) simply said, ‘Nothing you’ve said so far surprises me.. it’s just typical surveillance techniques.’ *sigh* Now if a KGB operative (or goonda of any ilk, kuch bhi) would just drop the polonium in bakarchod’s teapot or something… (gori suddenly snaps out of fantasy mode lol)…

So finally, do stay tuned. Hacks or no, we’re gonna revamp yeh blog & get on with the garam masti na? Aur don’t forget, whether gori posts in craigslist rants & rants or nahin, I’m still cafe mein sub Fridays downtown San Francisco mein, from 4:30-6pm, until further notice, lurkin’ u yaars (sub long-lost via the hacker dostay such as Daison bhai, D shaadied yaar aur guruji (ahem) also feel free to materialize there) Pyar jis!

Like usual, gori got hecka busy, distracted, aur of course, hacked by yey M1M (boo!) during Pride, so we’re in the process of putting up a whole bunch of naya goriji Frameline 32 queer filim fest vids, some vids about SF Pride (aur the real deal, Pink Saturday na?).. the latter of which gori spent getting felt up by a bunch of garam kalay desi fags while dancing to Bollywood remixes (yey!) How I manage to constantly be surrounded by gorgeous ladkay is beyond me.. not complaining na? So hope u all had ek rockin Gay (well Queer, really) Pride 2008 na? Haven’t read the news yet, but bahut pyar to voh desis holding the first ever Pride marches in teen cities Hindustan mein: Kolkatta, Bangalore aur New Delhi Hope u are all well, khushi & hung over bhi! Yey for getting drunk in honor of well, a riot that happened at a bar in the first place na? (acchi justification, tee hee..) BTW here is the Trikone Pride party flyer I mention in the Pink Sat video (below) with the garam kala Sri LKS-like yaar (I can do without the muscles lol) aur some way-too-bleached for gori, well, gori na? Guess they were trying to show contrast or something lol!

Anyhow, as usual yeh blog needs mass updating. Most important cheez to say here is ur gori’s had ek bara realization na? That I need to re-work queer desi cheez into mehri vids aur blog/Revver vlog aur zindagi na? Is Sri Lumba Kala Sundar ek queer-identified bi yaar? (like gori na? except well I guess gori’s ek suheli or yaari or kuch bhi…) FYI for mehri more straight-ish readers/watchers, there’s hecka queer desis out there. Those are the peeps gori first knew, in terms of being introduced to desi community in general na? Hard to believe some folks are still in denial about that…

Anyhow, for the moment, here’s a link to gori’s queer filim festival vids (click the text na?) aur here is ek link to the revver playlist with some accha Pink Sat aur Pride vlogs, aur finally, here’s ek link to mehri 160+ vids in general- wow! Goal is to get 600+ vids total up & running. I do deeply appreciate if you can watch gori vids directly on revver.com (if you don’t have the link at any point in time lol, go to revver.com, put ‘goriji’ in the search, & you’ll see a disorganized list of sub vids that way na?) Soonish there will be individual links on yeh blog to everything (u can see a few of the older ones on the vids pages right now at bottom of the pages list <– to ur left on this page…) Please do go to the vids directly via this blog or revver sirf, because if you go via google, u’ll find that many affiliate vids (not hosted directly on revver) are hacked (yep, psycho M1M again) so they don’t fully load, in some cases have been replaced by other vids, say they’ve been removed for ek ‘violation’ (although revver confirmed it’s a hack) or worst of all for gori, may not be reporting back your clicks properly (which means I don’t get paid, not that gori’s made any $$ to speak of yet lol.. but still hopeful)!

So there’s the dirt. For the ambitious, u can click on yeh ‘desi’ gur dil icon link on any revver page of gori’s vids, then access various organized playlists from the bar at the left of that page na? Shukriya everyone for watching mehri vids!

BTW (since we don’t want the gori-lurking yaaron to feel left out)- did u know that gori is having yeh kam contest? Deko gori’s week 13 cafe lurks (hint hint: parts char AUR *panch* na? Panch has the naughty bits!) If u can out-foil (lol) yeh M!M ulloo hacker, u can get some fun kam prizes from gori na? I’m serious… phir bhi, no one has succeeded at this challenge yet! hmm… grand prize is lund ka chus (I’m sooo serious na?) So check it out!

OMFG I can’t get this out of my head:

“Deko, deko

hai shaam buri diwani

Dheeray, dheeray

ban jaye na koi kahani…

dilbar hai dilkash hai

dildar nazaray hain

aaj zameen par utnay kitne sitare hai

atlo hosh na mi damaan

hum hai dil hai aur janam

bas diwaniki diwaniki diwaniki hai

na kohi rahe sam rahe par

yeh ilzaam lagay kispar

bas diwaniki diwaniki diwaniki hai”

(..uh ok maybe it’s really ‘deewaangi’ phir bhi.. kuch bhi.. also isn’t janam = sanam? kya? ..confused gori.. not to mention the Urdu or whatever that is lol)

(use total fake overly-nasal wishing u were Amrikan accent here:)

“All hot girls put your hands up & say:

‘Om Shanti Om’

All cool boys go on make some noise & say:

‘Om Shanti Om’

Om Shanti Om

Om Shanti…”

(repeat loop in gori’s delirious head unendingly lols…)

Stay tuned because gori has had a serious revelation about starting some sort of interactive desi club for queer aur straight desis together.. hmm… maybe with Indian restaurant food rating contests, aur ‘which Bolly filim scene IYHO is the worst in terms of overall execution’ competitions, (for prizes of course!) ..hmm… some variation of the interesting-sounding shaadi.com ‘lock & key’ parties (lekin how to make something that can insert both genders uh… I might be getting myself in deep (no pun intended) here).. well anyhow, let’s just say I’m inspired! Gotta make some community in person & get around the psycho ex somehow na? Well see if this goes anywhere or if in a couple of days gori is saying ‘what was I thinking?’ tee hees…

K now drink some water (bahut pani) aur get to sleep early.. unless ur in India/South Asia elsewhere, in which case may this find u safe & well, u’ve then had another nite’s sleep than all of us SF mein, so u might be actually sober by now.. lols!

Happy belated Pride jis!

Well, the blog has been slightly neglected of late, due to some earlier M1M hacking issues, my own financial dilemnas, aur of course, the fact that most of mehri energy is going into revver vids these days

So now we have something sort of exciting, to break the monotony… yeh naya ‘Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar?’ questionnaire! yey

There’s sirf (approx) dus questions this time.. be sure to take the *naya* (new) version, but ONLY if u are willing to give gori a phone number aur ek link to an online pic of urself (from Facebook or wherever) If u just want to amuse urself & are not serious about dating ur sexy garam gori then u can take the super-long old version of the questionnaire, further down on the same page na?

Oh yeah, don’t forget to check out the naya 4-part video, that’s all about the kub/kya/kyon/kaisay/kuch bhi of dating gori na? In case u were wondering…

Of course, if u don’t wanna give gori ur phone (though it’s via a secure server, so that should help with yeh M1M na?) u can make me hecka khushi by come to mehri cafe lurks.. metlab, meets, & say ‘hi’ tik hai? yey…

If u got here from my Craigslist post (the W4M one, I mean.. the hacker has messed with gori so that I can post the same post multiple times, yet it doesn’t appear in the Craigslist search, despite being ‘live’ with a URL.. he then ‘flags’ my posts that no one can actually see, repeatedly.. <– even this post about how you can see my posts doesn’t show in the search! (Click the links in those lines to see various ‘flagged’ & hopefully a couple of live posts, lol) Go to SF craigslist personals & search for ‘gori’- u’ll just see my ex pretending to be various RnR hecklers & some other random cheez.. none of these posts are there na?

Can’t wait til he’s in jail, but I digress…. u might want to mosey on over to my account at revver.com, where I’m also goriji na? That way u can see/hear gori’s diwaniness virtually, via mehri vids especially directed at this dating gori cheez, before deciding to aao to the cafe & bring me my fave phool(on? iyan? ay? kuch bhi): tulips (especially white or lavendar ones), daffodils, larkspur/delphinium, aur sunflowers na? yey… well u never know na? Sri LKS (aur possibly Crorepati) might just show up with some

K peeps, as soon as gori can say ‘financial problems = over’ we’ll be seeing some proper updating of sub blog pages.. til then, keep an eye on Revver, where I’m at approx 140 vids & counting! yey!

Pyar jis! Aur jaldi karo na? I need to be getting to that garam kam cheez aaj Sitting around here typing is boring

Note to everyone: soon we’ll have proper links to all of the nearly 100 goriji Revver videos here na? For now u can content urselves with the pages at the left, near the bottom of the pages list, or go here to see all the gori Revver videos to date (use the playlists on the left to see them in a more organized fashion tik hai?) Lekin no time for that now… because gori’s busy attempting to eradicate yeh M1M from her life, under some not-so-khushi circumstances na? this leaves us with..

Note to Daison: these are videos to you, mehri jaan, (at begining of playlist- or scroll to bottom of this post) in case u didn’t see them before the links on the FP were erased by you-know-who. I just dreamt about you again last nite, I’m hoping like heck ur either back in the SF area or about to be, gori needs ek kamra-dost (ek ghur-dost ? lol uh..) badly, plus I need to know on the lengha/sari cheez aaj, or sooner lol… it’s at a point of total crisis for me… PLEASE come find me at the cafe (or send someone) any Fri between 4:30-6pm.. please…

This is the latest vid Daison (click here)- watch this first Sorry to have to communicate this way, lekin I have no choice at this point. Please try to leave msgs on my phone Daison, but of course don’t assume anything got through unless you speak to me directly. My phone is off almost all the time now because of the idiot hacker moron. I need your help! It’s really really really really urgent! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

Here’s the links to the vids I made for you so far, most recent/important at the top… pyar mehri jaan.. I pray you’ll be back here soon.. I need your help desperately! ugg

gori video for Daison teen…

gori video for Daison do

gori vid for Daison ek

HELP JI!!!!!!!!!! Jaldi karo- mehri mushkilon sunarawala dost jaldi karo please!!! eeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Phir bhi.. we’re gonna all cheer ourselves up now by watching gori’s final, perfect (well, nothing’s perfect lekin).. try at explaining the impossible: this Sri Lumba Kala Sundar yaar (= dude) I’m seeking, seeminingly endlessly.

Are you a Southie or other non Hinglish-deciphering type? Well check it na? I mean, check this out! I finally managed to speak in English enough peeps can figure out WTF I’m saying… so if ur garam (= hot), bahut kala (=very very dark = yum!) and optionally, quite lumba (= tall) with possibly wiggly hair (= see gori video for explanation lol) or if you know someone like this (check at bottom of acchi comments page for nice bahenji sending the profile of ek dost (a friend) who might be a potential Sri LKS- gori welcomes this type of thing but u might have to do it in person, thanks to the stalker/hacker ex messing w/my comments lol I digress…) anyhow.. I welcome third party recommendations na? (= ok? lol)

So here u go, the new Southie-friendly version of

Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar (=Mr Tall-Dark-Handsome)?:

gori’s sexy very dark Southie BF (in English! pt 1

gori’s sexy very dark Southie BF (in English! pt 2

gori’s sexy very dark Southie BF (in English! pt 3

Or if you wanna see the entire Sri LKS & related funny cheez gori videos playlist, click here

If ur not into all this gori dating stuff, & just want a good laugh, then watch this instead lmao…

gori sings Ghajini ‘Rangola’, yeh Surya Tollywood filim song na?

or this lmao:
gori sings SRK Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, yeh purani Bollywood filim song na?

see what ur missing? Go to gori’s naya videos page to see more.. lotsss… more!

Meantime, be sure to come see gori at the cafe meets every Friday! whoo! Laters… off to learn the rest of Rangola (I’m sure you can’t wait, na? roflmao) pyar jis!

]]> http://goriji.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/goris-piece-de-resistance-sri-lks-video-na-thats-frenchhindi-but-its-in-english-for-southies-lol/feed/ 0 goriji http://goriji.wordpress.com/2008/04/19/daison-still-trying-to-find-you-mehri-dost-please-read/ http://goriji.wordpress.com/2008/04/19/daison-still-trying-to-find-you-mehri-dost-please-read/#comments Sat, 19 Apr 2008 22:59:48 +0000 goriji http://goriji.wordpress.com/?p=90 ]]> Tik hai.. this is a note to mehri Dost, Daison, again Everybody else can proceed to the next post lol Unless ur really bored.. or happen to know him…

Daison, I think u might have gotten my last email attempts? I’m getting hits on my blog stats that look like you(?) ? Obviously yeh M1M (u know who, the crazy ex loser) is going nuts again so if you’re writing/calling etc.. I haven’t received anything from you (still)..

I’m trying frantically to find out when/if ur coming back, also I’ve been trying to ask u about mehri kamra-dost (sorry I don’t know how to say that properly) situation, plus obviously yeh rupiya situation is bahut bura still…

Suniye.. if u see this.. u can use the way we originally met (u can find links elsewhere here if needed).. anything u write I will be able to see, so write me a letter that way please…  u don’t have to go very far… just write in the 1st place u find then stop.. do u follow that?  Then hit my blog a whole bunch again the same way (again, assuming that’s u na?) so I know to look for it.. hopefully u can figure that out BTW mehri phone is off now, like 90% of the time, shukriya yeh bura diwana ex-sanam again..

I dreamt about you the last few nites.. I had a very cool sapna that u came to my cafe meet & helped me with a bunch of important cheez… I hope that’s right cause I need ur help as u know. I really hope what I’m seeing on the blog is u & not the M1M fooling around. Pyar… I’m thinking of you… please try to get someone to come to the cafe & give me ur info on when u’ll be back, what phone to reach you at, etc… Also u can try leaving msgs on my phone but remember that the ulloo will intercept them so.. I would leave wk # sirf if so.. I miss u! Bring bahut gunday Hyderabad se to nuke yeh M1M in ur suitcase with u on the way back tik? lol Pyar mehri jaan

tik hai.. end of personal note to yet another dost lost to the stalker/hacker.. resume normal blogging abi tee hee *sigh*

gori’s cafe lurks.. uh ‘meets’? There’s one every Friday na? Link at the top of this page has a map, for the clueless lol

So… for the truly adventurous.. (ahem).. u can even sign up to be a willing victim in ‘the bet’ (ha, gori is doing something bahut bahut masti nashai na?).. check out the video here:

Be sure to spread the word! Jaldi karo.. ek madham (lol) sirf… u know u annoying voyeurs who lurk wanna see mehri Sardarji dost khushi.. uh, metlab, humiliated! Sure, that’s it! So anyways, be sure to check mehri naya (Southie translation: my new) video pages.. the main page is here. They’re still under construction, so be patient! Much more vid is also being uploaded, check the Sri LKS ki sapna (Southie translation: Mr Tall-Dark-Handsome of (gori’s) dreams) playlist for some bahut bahut bahut funny stuff I’m uploading as we speak.. which will include gori trying to sing Tamil (ha, in ek week’s time I’m now a big fan of Surya, sorry I said he has ‘man-titties’ earlier roflmao..) he’s bahut garam na? (Southie translation: very hot, isn’t he?) Ha I’m really (phonetically, poorly) singing Ghajini ‘Rangola’ here roflmao! Also here is gori singing ‘Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani’ (froflmao) with some more ‘Rangola’ thrown in.. can’t stop laughing ..  at least I actually know the words (mostly) to that.. aur talking about crying while listening to Jana Mana kuch bhi aur Jaya Hind! (Southie translation: India Naadu & Tamil Thai Vazhthu) (no joke.. sniff..) lols

See how nice gori is? I’m translating carefully for those dusky garam Tamil Telugu Mallu Kannada etc… etc.. Southie individuals who don’t/won’t speak Hindi na? In a redoubled effort to meet mehri Sri LKS pati/BF/gur baap kuch bhi! (um: not sure I want to translate that fully lol… my new BF or eventually husband, um.. etc..) who is of course, bahut kala (very dark!) cause gori is an adamant Brahmin supremacist/skin-bleach/left-over British racism resistor.. besides, I think dark, dark, did I say VERY DARK (yum! swoon!), especially tall, especially very tall lol.. desi guys are f’ing hot! yey there, I said it Angrezi mein, tik hai? (in English, ok?) Now come & check out gori! Jaldi karo! (Hurry up) before one of the other 1/2 billion+ of you snatches me up Pyar jis! (gori slang for: love, everyone!, well kind of..)

First cheez first tik? Gori wants to thank all her loyal aur garam desi yaaron readers- I made mehri goal of over 10,000 blog hits in the first 6 months! Pyar jis! Shukriya bahut na? Abi, yeh hits are now getting divided up between here aur Revver.com, where gori has a burgeoning vlog going (over 3000 hits in 2 months from 30 vids..), on subjects like filim reviews (including ek massive plot spoiler series for naya Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay filim releasing later this month na?), making of garam slideshows, mehri bura diwana ex-sanam, aur upcoming vids comparing various Mini Cooper features (once gori figures how to get around Revver’s incredibly laughable need to flag mehri Mini Cooper vid for ‘copyright infringement’ (ROFLMAO) for having ‘Uyirin Uyire’, yeh Tollywood filim song, playing on the stereo in the BG lmao..) may have to move those to You Tube, where you can see the whole Tamil Nad filim vid as per below.. gori “reviews” it in voh paragraphs below bhi na?) lol… plus coming soon: free psychic readings! (with video answers na? Angrezi mein tik? lol.. told u gori is ek diyan tee hee) ..

Meantime, gori has been offline at least 80% of the last 4 weeks na? Despite furious effort to the contrary… ugg… yeh M1M is now the subject of ek video series by gori on Revver na? lol (In case u didn’t figure it out yet, if u hover over the links u can usually see yeh page it will take u 2.. if u click.. it will take u there na?)

…aur you thought Bollywood is dumb na? Gori pyar bahut yeh song ‘Uyirin Uyire’ phir… tik hai? Check yeh vid for urselves na: Kaakha Kaakha ‘Uyirin Uyire’ BTW they forgot in the You Tube comments to mention that ‘Kakka’ (besides being maternal uncle Hindi mein, is unfortunately also ‘sh1t’ in Spanish bhi na.. spelled ‘caca’.. tee hee… kuch bhi…) WTF with the metal-face back-up dancer yaaron (doing disco hyper-fast in plastic shirts) turning into Tamil Nad national flag colors pirates with weird mouth gags & female-style bandeau tops.. turning into bloody graveyard zombies in jeans, na? Is the female lead allowed to ‘kiss’ the chubby dude who changes his hair cut more than his outfits in this vid because they are really married in real life na? Whatup with the crazy hand/arm moves on yeh yaar on the tree branch (right after the metal-face zombie dancers), or the bandage/fashion accessory on his hand towards the middle na? Dang! Wait- better yet- the bowl cut with bangs (fringe to u peeps) to go with the weird hand bandage thing na? Aur u thought SRK is cheesy na? lmao.. If gori chased someone for that long (or got chased, hint hint) she might want more than kunjum kunjum kiss na? tee hee.. BTW do all Tamil yaar wrinkle their eyebrows like that? Or only this yaar + gori’s ex? Please enlighten tik? At least this guy is kala enough for gori unlike yucky goray Bolly heros mmm… except maybe Ajay Devgan lol.. The chick is hot in purple at the end na? Except where did her tennis shoes needed to run through all that slate(?) or kuch bhi go? Like when she sort of subjugates her pati with her leg? She’s barefoot then.. notice? roflmao…

Just an observation.. meantime, here is gori’s open video letter to Tamil villager yaar ex BF (Agasthi! hello! did u actually steal gori’s Mini Cooper deposit or was it yeh M1M? Inquiring minds want to know!).. this is part of a series of vids on how gori is trying to flee yeh M1M hacker/stalker, who has been on ek ENORMOUS rampage lately… poor gori na? Click here to see the playlist of the whole series of vids lol… & click here to see the playlist on mehri weekly cafe meets in downtown SF na? Not off to a great start lekin I’ll be there next week, & all weeks thereafter.. see u there!

An aspiration of gori’s is to start ek page (if the eye strain ever stops enough to update what’s here lol).. with other peeps with websites using their own unintentional hybrid languages etc.. lol… Plus other funny cheezay.. cheezon.. uh.. kuch bhi.. anyhow..

So here’s the website du jour.. just to show u yaar how gori is BAHUT unlike yeh other goron na? For example: I have never stepped foot in a Target (though gori has a ‘white trach’ lmao dost who pyar Tar-zhay bahut.. always wondered why) aur gori hasn’t seen ‘Sicko’ (because it was sold out at the filim festival where it played na? .. sirf reason..) phir bhi I know sub stats on socialized health care from being ek self-employed person badly in need of it, yet lacking it tik? Will admit that yeh yuppie baap aur ma did let us drink wine occassionally as bachchiyan na? roflmao.. tik hai tik hai.. gori San Francisco se na? Lekin for 20 years tik? gori nahin pasand voh yuppian hai na? However, I do hang out in the Castro (for majority of those years na? aur have tons of gay dostay.. being bi myself tik?) hmm.. aur gori doesn’t own ek TV either na? (Wow, are there other peeps like that? Sub yaaron make me feel like a freak for not having one… lol).. wait a sec here.. what’s this about filim fests (aur liking weird/obscure other cultures filims lmao? aur sushi na?).. tik phir I hate dogs, don’t know who TF Michel Gondry is, hate sports, am OVER brown ladkay fetishising voh Asian ladkiyan (more than gori na? hmmpph! tee hee…) & actually realize how racist Japanese ppl (from/in Japan, nahin ABCJs na?) are.. plus gori hates other goron entirely na? Especially the ones who they talk about here Nothing like u ABCD coconuts! lol…tee hee.. What is gori talking about this time? Check it out: Stuff White People Like lmao… nahin, gori doesn’t resemble this at ALL tik? lols…

Be sure to aao to the cafe meets tik? No lurking na? U know u want some garam gori nasha hai na? It all starts with ek conversation.. aur don’t forget: sub dostay aur ppl with resources (comp geeks/IT ppl, legal help, extra cell phone (minus SIM na? sirf cell phone plastic lol) donators) or anyone else desi-minded invited hai na? pyar!

Even if this blog or the videos are ha3ked by the loser stalker ex, still assume gori will be there na? Every Fri starting 4:30pm. In the naya 3 part video I talk about mehri sapna Sri LKS, & also how I really need some help desi yaaron se na? In fact, if anyone has a cell phone (*no* SIM or connection needed, just the physical phone) that is unlocked, or a spare laptop or other device that is unimportant to u that gori can use online for the time being, I am accepting donations/loaned items at this point na? Further, if ur ek lawyer willing to do pro bono work, or ek IT guy (tik 99% of you na?) ur needed.. or better yet, ek bona fide desi ha3ker please do come say hi Gunday optional In short, I’m hoping to meet lotsa yaars in person (watch yeh vids for more details)- both friendly aur potential Sri LKS friendly na? I will be at the cafe above every Fri from at least 4:30-6pm until further notice, irregardless of the level of hacking/destruction that may or may not occur to this blog &/or gori’s other online cheez tik? I’m over this, at the very least gori needs ek gur baap (lol) na? So jaldi karo mehri bhai sahebs Pyar & see u there!

PS sorry mehri slideshows on photos page are gone Psycho stalker deleted them Will fix them as soon as I can get online long enough to do so (sigh).. PS as I say in the vid, anyone who can get a message through to someone in Hyderabad in the next week or two (OR who doesn’t mind gori using their phone to call over there) please step forward. It’s urgent! shukriya M1M So come hang out for whatever reason & chat with gori over chai lol.. See you there mehri jaan(s)!

Guess what? Already time for desi filims Gori was at bahut desi filim this week with the SFIAAFF (that’s San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival lol!)… k this was written before I went, lekin of course yeh psycho M1M ha3ked gori once again, so I’m posting this after the fact:

Be sure to check gori’s Revver videos (both on yeh photos page aur the Revver playlist) to see what gori hopes will be some insightful video critique of yeh filims, with written reviews to follow (after filims are done, too diwana to try to write them all out while seeing somewhere around 15 filims in 6 days na? 10 of which are with 48 hours lol!) Including of course SRK in Om Shanti Om, which gori has of course already seen at Naz 8 in Fremont ages ago lol, phir it’s worth the $10 to witness the reaction of the Castro Theatre eclectic crowd (SIRF way to see Bolly, in gori’s opinion lol)

So if you’re in Japantown & spy gori with her hara/neela baal rang lol.. say hi! I’m usually found sitting near the front of the theatre audience, I usually come in at the last minute though lol Don’t be shy! BTW props to the (no less than 7!) garam FOB Southie (Mallu? Teluguji?) yaars traveling together whom gori was accompanied by on BART lmao aaj.. not surprising yeh train was headed to Fremont Amazingly all but one were kalajis which of course had gori weak in the knees afterwards tee hee hee Hope the photo you yaaron took of gori doesn’t look too incredibly stupid lol! Ek sanam for each day of the week na? tee hee…

So go here for video reviews of the South Asian filims in yeh Asian filim fest na? Assuming mehri connection continues to work lol

Speaking of which, sorry to have to post this here lekin Daison! ji! I hope u see this yaar. Got ek email (no other contact got through so far), tried sending mehri response at least 1 dozen times over a few days Tehra dost’s phone nahin suchna na? lol.. Can’t find ur naya wk # ..US secretary is no help, old wk # doesn’t ring anyone).. hack3r M1M is massively on the loose yaar! It’s urgent! If you see this, try my cell repeatedly until u reach gori tik? Well, after yeh filims end lol.. otherwise phone will be off during ur day hours (while gori watches bahut desi filim at nite here lol!) At least try leaving msgs Amrikan phone se na? Please! it’s URGENT!

Yeppers, it took 8 days this time to get back online after the latest M1M attack. Seems at least 2 dost went missing in the whole mess, which included ha3ks of gori’s phone Gori is doing some serious buri nizer on the perpetrator, mind you Meantime, since gori’s gora dost with the yummy computer arts/lounge space that was supposed to open in Oct, then Jan, is still not ready.. gori is seriously contemplating just hanging at a location where yaar can meet her weekly in person in downtown SF, since I’m in need of not only dosts lekin also naya sanam na? Hopefully Sri LKS (aur C(rorepati)) sanam.. more on that after films tik? Sorry to have to explain about yeh ulloo again. Hopefully the buri nizer will actually get rid of him permanently this time. Sigh…

Tik- see u at yeh filims! Or if not, pretend u were there by watching yeh gori desi filim reviews pyar jis!

Gori has decided she is going to shaadi some yummy desi ladka abi As in , aaj lol Next cheez is to re-write mehri Sri LKS questionnaire <– (link is purani version na?) in order to do this. Economic circumstances notwithstanding, there are more than a few reasons why I’ve decided to put myself on the auction block (lol, hopefully not literally) so to speak. Maybe I’ll even make a separate questionnaire for those dhukh, bara uncle crorepatis (usually goray/married desis, statistically speaking) who want to pay gori’s $4-5K/mo (ha, that’s while living as ek *renter* na? sigh) expenses San Francisco mein tik? lmao.. doubt if any of those bara uncles are that rich/generous lol! Phir seriously, I have decided since being abandoned by another desi would-be BF around Vday that I want to marry ASAP. Finding ek desi (well, pardesi na? we’re not talking Kumar-esque ACBDs here lol) who is able to withstand family to do so is, not surprisingly, seemingly impossible. Lekin LTR with voh desi yaar doesn’t seem to materialize, given the issues of utter lack of backbone/truth-telling among ur culture, unowatimsayin’? Sometimes yes, sometimes nahin. Gori is tired of this cycle Poor gori na?

So.. in short: sub yummy Sri Lumba Kala Sundars (aur possibly Crorepatis)- ‘Will you marry me?’

Be sure to check the photos page (aur of course, read at least a little of the (at present, somewhat out dated) blog so u know what ur getting into exactly lmao) before attempting to reply lol. Best way to do so is to weather the uber-lengthy (but humorous! promise!) Are u Sri LKS? quiz. Pyar mehray jaan Mehndi lagakay reckhna… dholi sujakay rekhna… leynay tuhje o gori… ayengay tehre sujhna tee hee.. we’ll see! Happy Leap Day, so mote it be <– ek diyan expression na? Notice how those char cheez rhyme ha ji? See I told u u’d better read the disclaimer (aka the blog itself) first tik?

Prospective Sri LKS quiz!

If u don’t give contact info at the end, then there’s no point in taking it to begin with tik? Also, not worth trying if ur bara uncle, married or gora (though gori’s thinking seriously about making another crorepati/sugar daddy quiz if she doesn’t get her Mini Cooper soon na?) lol phir.. sigh… gori is sick of having her heart broken so… hoping to find someone real, cool & lasting na? I realize I may be asking too much, phir gori deserves best sirf, accha? Off to cry in mehri chai a little longer.. then we’ll be back with more revver vids plus ‘making of gori’s Vday photos’ na? sigh.. why is life so disappointing hai na? *sigh* Seems to me that good peeps always finish last u know? Anyhow.. check out mehri pics & you’ll feel better at least na?

new gori Revver.com videos!

So even though the weather’s hecka nasty out (even here in SF) I hope my vids will keep ya warm inside u know what I mean? tee hee… Here’s some required watching (tell ek dost na?) on how we can end climate change aaj, or hopefully before we all drown/freeze to death at least, by finding a way around the gov’t/’Big Oil’ in order to manufacture full-size sedans (& yep, even evil SUVs) as cars that run on electricity, immediately. Electric auto-rickshaws, anybody? Be sure to watch: Who Killed the Electric Car? as soon as ur done with gori’s vids.. which of course, are much shorter than yeh gaadi filim lol

Also check out voh diwana weekly What’s More Retarded? polls! Be sure to wote na? This week’s theme: Things that don’t culturally translate na? Pyar jis!

gori’s piece de resistance!

<–click on yeh ulloo to vote!

lol… it’s hecka funny cheez, if you ask gori na?

check out yeh results AFTER u vote na? there’s going to be more each week, with semi-finals, commemorative t-shirts, stuff like that

this should serve to distract u yaar til I get back here to clean up the rest of yeh blog na?

Enjoy! Vote early aur often!

PS here’s a better explanation (but don’t peek at the results til after you VOTE tik?)

So be sure (if u think u might be Sri LKS ki gori na?) to take yeh quiz (a direct link!) before Jan 31st.. since gori is having a difficult time keeping her posts on Craigslist (shukriya MIM, once again, sigh) aur well.. gori is bahut impatient na? (this is gori’s usual personality- when she wants something, she gets it, nahin ‘wait wait wait’.. phir like ill-fated Nike logo: ‘just do it’ na?) So unless lots of u use yeh quiz, gori will quit paying for yeh service providing nice SECURE server for quiz <– (smiling at difficulty MIM has (so far) pwning it) end of month mein na? tik

Anyhow, so please check out yeh gori dating Sri LKS quiz/questionnaire abi na? Good for ek laugh (at urself/other desis na? lol, if nothing else

Meantime, gori’s seen a bunch of you (stats se) hunting around, still looking for those elusive (aur bahut sexy na?) gori secret Santa photos.. well, they aren’t so secret now, they’re on yeh gori photos page.. except (sorry) they are now PG-13 rated The trade-off for having no password required lol Plus, gori doesn’t want Sri LKS to think she’s ek p0rn star or something na? So you’ll have to content urselves with that..

There’s lots of reorganizing/improvements to existing pages (ha, samjhe Sri LKS sightings page hasn’t been updated since before Diwali na? sorry lol.. too many yummy desis, too little time lols..) but it’s gonna have to wait a little longer as gori is recovering from ek massive case of eye strain after evil, oft-referred to (aur nahin nearly so profitable as hoped) 2007 Xmas online retail nitemare na? sigh… Meantime, here is ek gori story tik?

I wasn’t gonna say this, much less blog front page mein because well, it’s sort of long (going to truncate) plus it really goes on the Sri LKS questionnaire page, lekin yeh page bahut long bhi hai lol :p so… to put it as briefly as possible- gori psychic hai na? (really! diyan hoon bhi, but that’s beside the point) ..well, gori unfortunately attracts many unwanted gora admirers when posting on CL, especially when she posts photo(s), which is necessary, else desis constantly assume gori desi ladki hai, aur don’t believe gori Amrikan goron hai na? So.. sort of caught with a problem there…

Anyhow, in short, yeh nice gora was talking to gori as result of yeh CL (craigslist tik?) post.. gori is suddenly getting bahut bahut ‘psychic impressions’ tik? So she tells yeh gora yaar what she is seeing (about his love life… pyar zindagi? lmao.. is there a way to say that? stupid question na, since desis aren’t traditionally allowed to have one so probably no equivalent expression lmao… j/k! um well maybe not lol..) Story (gori tries desperately to stay on subject = very difficult thing for gori to do na?)… story: gori’s vision for yeh yaar, gori suddenly understood, was also showing gori aspects of her own Sri LKS search she didn’t see before. Abi, after undoubtedly scaring off ‘yeh peacock’ (gori’s new naam for (gay?) Southie yaar gori chased up Market St then loudly explained in detail about encounter on Sri LKS sightings page), gori wants to keep her 2 subsequent, nearly equally meaningful recent ‘potentially really Sri LKS’ sightings to herself, or at least I’m gonna slip them into the new version of yeh Sri LKS sightings page in a way that is more subtle, hai na? Anyhow, I told u this story would get long tik..

Without further ado… gori understood from yeh vision for yeh gora (who confirmed he knows who yeh blondie ladki gori’s vision mein hai, plus he is eager to get involved with her etc.. so vision is apparently correct na? not that I’m gonna tell u what his vision was actually about na? client confidentiality n all that phir just to say: chup ke doubters, tik? ) Anyhow.. if gori applies same idea yeh gora’s vision se to herself, basically it means the following:

Sri LKS must already know about gori (blog se or CL se or ??). Sri LKS is (metaphorically na? don’t be desi & take yeh cheez bahut literally na? symbolism hai!) standing ‘right behind’ gori, about to tap her shoulder mein na? (SYMBOLICALLY sirf na? Cause if gori really knew him (or he was really right behind gori), she’d turn around aur kiss him abi na? doi!) LEKIN.. something is holding him back na? Well, if gori’s vision for yeh gora yaar is any indicator (remember: gori worked for yrs as *professional* psychic hai na? in case u think I’m making this up lol).. anyhow, using yeh vision ka gora (um.. kuch bhi).. as an indicator, this would mean that suchna Sri LKS is possibly already involved (yeh gori vision for gora yaar se, gora would-be gori GF has ek ulloo ex-sanam hanging around, for example) anyhow, suchna Sri LKS might be currently involved with someone he is wanting to get rid of (or has recently gotten rid of- divorce kutti desi princess se or yucky ulloo other gori sanam break-up or ??).. anyhow, & this is supposedly part of what is slowing Sri LKS down/holding him back. Well this is nice revelation for gori, aur if yeh actual Sri LKS ever reads gori’s blog, she hopes that he will read yeh questionnaire page, especially the section where gori is talking about being bored, looking for stability aur gori ‘player’ hai nahin (gori player for keeps sirf na? lol)… cause that was all stuff he needed to know, vision se, bhi

Aaj, here is some more stuff.. Abi DON’T TAKE THIS TOO LITERALLY! If u don’t drive ek kala Mercedes Kompressor, it doesn’t mean ur not Sri LKS tik? lol.. gori gets ‘impressions’ of stuff ALL the time.. much is symbolic, or sometimes downright incorrect. I may have said some/all of this elsewhere here (with eye strain lingering sort of hard to go back through yeh entire blog maghur).. here are some notes to potentially help (if this sounds like u, u’d better check out yeh questionnaire na? BTW be *sure* to fill out the whole cheez tik? Ha, it’s really long (on purpose).. plus, if u don’t give gori contact info there, u ain’t gonna be able to contact her otherwise, shukriya again M1M hack3r ulloo ugg.. (in case yeh sexy-sounding Fiji desi ‘Avulsion’ sees this, ur a great example of wasting both of our time- yeh hottie filled out whole questionnaire *except* put fake contact info.. this is useless na? U could have had ek garam GF by now ulloo! gori would still like to talk to u btw ‘avulsion’ ugg.. sigh).. back to subject:

do NOT take literally, these are just gori psychic impressions of cheez that MIGHT be descriptive of LKS na?

ek) Mercedes .. gori is really really sick of being followed around by these things.. metlab, every yuppie San Francisco mein has one (hell, gori’s parents drove them when she was in high school.. gori would make fun of gaadi ka baap 190e with automatic transmission.. gori is definitely stick shift sort of ladki..tee hee hee.. ha I DO mean it like that lols) anyhow, gori can’t stop to explain yeh ongoing symbolism of all of this here (waay too long) but judging by appearance, let’s say if LKS drove yeh Merc, it would be yeh Kompressor that he must trade in every few yrs (u desis probably pyar leasing cars na? just like baap ka gori), cause gori thinks (judging by the insane number of yeh gari/gaadi/kuch bhi) following her around, that he would have had yeh lal (red), yeh chandra (silver) aur abi, yeh kala (black) Merc convertible or ‘Kompressor’-style model (each color in turn) over the last several years.

Other symbols:

d0)as I said, he may be divorced..

teen) he may have yeh beti (daughter, I’m subtitling some stuff English mein since he’s probably Southie & maybe therefore really can’t follow mehri Hindi na?) or else some other (tall for her age, thin) young girl (niece, much younger bahinji (sister), etc..) who’s important to him/he is close to, like family relation na?

char) plus of course he is Sri Lumba/Kala/Sundar (Mr Tall Dark Handsome na? lol) with long hair (or else it would look this way if he grew it out) that has waves/wigglyness (like flat back & forth curls), that he wears in ek ponytail…

che) btw gori had 2 sapnay about Sri LKS in recent months where he was wearing wire-rimmed gold glasses (like the smallish rectangular trendy ones)- never seen that detail otherwise. Interesting do dreams mein, sapna ek: Sri LKS was bahut tall aur bahut thin, like gori imagines, sapna do: Sri LKS was mota (stocky/chunky build) aur probably tall too, but riding a bike (??) Maybe these details ring a bell with someone? Maybe it means the person was heavier at one point & lost weight (by bicycling? -gori likes yeh mota ladkay BTW, since gori curvyji hai herself- especially if u can cook accha Hindustani khanna.. oops wrong word.. paan? kuch bhi: ‘food’) phir in gori’s visions, he is always bahut bahut tall, aur bahut thin (though this isn’t really gori’s personal preference, u will probably get teased by gori for being too thin- like mataji se na? until u eat more.. off subject again lol)…

panch) anyhow, more significantly, gori thinks yeh yaar is possibly from yeh bahut rich family, dad crorepati hai (some type of big business yaar) aur Sri LKS is in charge of family business- at least some part of it. He now travels bahut for business, gori is sure of that (or he has in recent years).. despite the fact that this just sounds like some Bolly SRK filim character, gori has been told this by at least 3 other psychics.. weird na? ‘Crorepati’ to gori is IT ‘professional’ lol, she is not that picky

sat) he may have grown up out of India (like Europe? ACBD nahin, definitely pardesi or multi-national person or something to this effect).. aur gori thinks he travels to SF sirf, doesn’t live here full-time (yet- just wait til he meets gori lol) Maybe he even stays at yeh nasty Four Seasons ‘residences’ Market St mein (next to oft-mentioned gori desi-watching cafe) bad feng shui ko/ka/ki (when will someone teach gori postpositions properly?) like gori’s psychic dost says.. who knows?

at) sometimes gori is sure he has silver streaks baal mein (in his hair) on the sides na? Don’t forget he’s bahut kala mmm… hella dark aur yummy

Well, whoever u are, u’d better step forward. After gori got yeh diwani impressions for yeh CL gora she had talked to by email one day sirf, aur it seemed fairly accurate, then.. well, it just started bugging gori to think how long this is taking, lekin yeh ulloo is right here apparently na? Gori even thought one day (before vision for gora na?) that she saw him over her left shoulder, lekin when she turned, it was some totally different person passing by)- like ek ghost na?

Like gori’s gay dostay say: ‘Come out, come out, wherever u are na?’ Tik I added the ‘na’ lmao

no) almost forgot.. if tarot cards ka gori r any indication, probably yeh Sri LKS is having a bunch of ‘issues’ life mein abi (‘in his life right now’.. k Tamil/Teluguji yaar?) that r slowing him down phir bhi.. gori is B-O-R-E-D.. aur needs someone to keep her bed warm tik? Abi! Nahin Spring hai- aaj! lol

so das) take yeh questionnaire, even if ur not him, u’ll help gori deal with yeh boring, tedious wait.. which is what this January seems to be about so far. I have faith in mehri tarot cards na? Something accha had better be on the way for gori.. seems like it at least.. also yeh Chinese year (rat na? yucky phir..) starting ek month mein is bahut bahut lucky romance year for gori tik?

Supposedly if ur day star (nahin year, that’s the one most ppl know at least) is wood element Chinese astrology mein, u will also (for males) have ek great romance yr na? Gori is pig (bahut accha Chinese astrology mein) day star with water element Also gori 9 fire hai, so I always thought ek 4 wood would be good for me.. since I also have water.. ladka’s wood nurtures gori’s fire (hopefully via unlimited Visa card na? tee hee j/k- fire = gori’s $$ star, just a little jokey joke na?) phir also gori’s water nutures ladka’s wood (lmao.. that part sounds pretty funny if u really think about it, but since this is a ‘family’ (at least English mein lmao) blog, we’ll leave it at that!

Tik hai.. gori’s still bored… bhi phir waiting! Jaldi karo Sri LKS! Chel chel chel chel chel chel chel chel!!! Chalo! sigh…

So without further ado..

please be sure to donate at least ek dollar to gori’s Mini Cooper 2008S fund.. & watch yeh Mini photo get colored in! Cool na?

(click on yeh Mini to go to page.. gori’s Mini nahin lal however.. how boring na? yawn… gori’s is hella tricked out cozy Mini..)

Lekin hurry! Sirf 38000 desis needed to donate yeh dollar each to pay for entire Mini na? lmao

On a more Xmasy theme, please to take gori questionnaire/dating gori quiz here:

yeh most important funny questionnaire ever made for Sri LKSes (or something like that na?- direct link)

gori paid good $$ for this na? besides, at the end u’ll get the code to get into this page:

Sexy gori Santa photos! yey

U know u wanna see na? Sirf 2 days til Xmas! Jaldi karo! Chel chel chel chel!

Meantime, although it’s been said.. bahut times, bahut ways… Merry Xmas! aur Happy New Yaar (for gori we hope! so take yeh quiz quick!)

Off to Ikea! Be sure to wish gori ek Happy Bday on mehri acchi comments page!

Pyar mehri yaar!

Did u garam mastis miss ur gori over the last week of no hits aur (correspondingly) nahin Craigslist posts? Gori notices she was hit by some stupid ‘Auto Turk’ or kuch bhi un-PC dorky-goron who just don’t get it-named cheez.. metlab some desi must have been doing data entry for them & thought of gori (shuk ji!) More on that later lekin..

Yeh ‘piece de resistance’ abi na?! Gori’s new ‘Are you Sri Lumba Kala Sundar?’ questionnaire! WOW! Despite working herself to death ATM gori somehow found time to do this.. fill it out quick, before yeh stalker ulloo ha3ks it na? Go here to check it out:

Aap Sri LKS hai? take the quiz…

Yeh billiyan photos are pretty darn funny, if gori does say so herself na? Anyhow, next up gori’s gotta catch up on everything else that’s gotten behind na? Lekin the Mini Cooper donate page is probably next because after all, it’s gori’s bday (on XMAS DAY na?) & you know u wanna give til it hurts (at least ek dollar na?- PayPal donate jis!) to gori’s custom Mini Cooper attempt #4 fund.. more on that laters! Pyar.. tell ek dost about the questionnaire.. for a limited time sirf!

PS OMG lmao.. WTF? 2 seconds after gori posts this (well, within an hour, in context where no one should have seen it yet) I get this in mehri stats na?

This post in Hinch/Frendi

OMG ROFLMAO Guess I shouldn’t use froofy French chef phrases like ‘piece de resistance’ na? tee hee.. weird how it actually translates yeh English (plus I’m sure some stuff transliterated into what looks like Angrezi) then leaves yey Hindi na? lols.. well nice try. When they actually get yeh Hindi transliterated (or Devanagari, whichever) translator, just lemme know, it will save gori much work & be a better goron-be-gone cover na? nitey nite bachchi

Tik oops.. gori is sniffling & tired & working.. this is obviously not the spot the button goes in Tried to put it here but instead got a big mess of html.. Here is a direct link until I get it pasted:

gori’s Technorati page hai na?

U’ll have to fave me from elsewhere til I figure it out pyar yaarjis

K pyar yaars.. will be back in between online Christmas auctions & composing spam.. er.. ‘marketing’ emails furiously n’ stuff like that.. BTW shuk as the hits are now at 4250+ in sirf 6 wks na? Gori is pleased.. humorously, over 1000 of these are to photos page na? lmao.. will work on giving u all something worth looking at ASAP.. metlab, hopefully before Xmas lol.. tee hee.. sleep well mehri sexies

Maybe this is because of filim fest reviews na? Gori is bahut clueless on how all this blog stuff works. Anyhow. I finished (more or less) the Third I filim reviews na? It has mass typos but still, have a look..

Further, gori has tons of garam desi yaar sightings notes.. no time yet to upload.

Also, stay tuned cause I’m gonna figure out yeh various ways to subscribe to me so I can eventually get away from the stalker ex on CL.. who not only impersonates various ppl (while gori’s CL posts are hacked, not actually flagged out of existence in a very mentally ill hacker-like pattern too long to explain this late at nite.. ) phir yeh psycho ex does indeed seem to have gotten gori’s comments bhi. I can see the ‘spam’ comment tally going up (lessee here, Mark @ WordPress CS tells gori there is nothing wrong, even though she has been able to see exactly 5 out of 30+ comments marked as ‘spam’ so far- nevermind she should have been able to see all of them).. going up by rate of a few per day abi na? etc.. this type of BS cheez has been going on for 2+ yrs na?

So sorry to everyone who is probably trying to communicate at this point & getting sent to spam, about the lack of ability to post comments. Of course feel free to try to post comments of whatever sort, the more I can’t see (but show up in the spam tally, presumably) the more gori can hopefully eventually convince WP ulloos to get up off lazy butts & try to investigate problem na? lol

Because of this issue, gori is going to try to get do new things going that may facilitate 2-way convos with yeh sexy desi ladkay na? (gori started yeh stupid blog to get away from ulloo hacker stealing all her email CL se to begin with na? stupid me to think this would work ugg..) Lekin these do cheezay lmao are top secret for now.. stay tuned…

PS if you didn’t see my new pics, be sure to check pic page. Pyars.. enjoy ur Thanksgiving weekend. Gori is giving thanks for the day when she will sail off into sunset with Srk LKS, to a land with sirf dead hacker ulloos.. aur bahut paisay, bahut khushiya (happiness? is there a word in Hindi lol?) aur bahut masti nishah (sp?) hai etc.. preferably in the form of ek gori + like che garam kala desis… u can visualize na?

It’s late.. gori’s off to sleep, perchance Sri Lumba Kala Sundar sapna karna ko/ka/ki/kuch bhi lol

gori’s Third I filim fest reviews

Here is sched for filim fest itself: Third I fest this weekend

All is explained (in a confused way na?) there.. will post some new photos in the morning cause I’m too tired right now.. gori’s beginning to feel like yeh pin-up na? lmao Sri LKS sightings will have to wait.. filim is more important lol Check for my new sexy photo(s) with sunglasses after 2pm Sat… or later if I wake up late & have to rush to filims tomorrow.. come by & say ‘hi’ if ur at the festival… gori’s the gori with diwani bal rang & HUGE bags under her eyes with bad eye strain lmao.. who is staring at another type of screen lol on her break from staring at the computer.. sigh

PS OMGdess lol.. gori’s new fave diwana search term just came in: ‘Do goris marry desi guys’ aww… of course we do na? I think the question should really be posed the other way around

Shubh Diwali!

gori’s funny Hallowe’en/Diwali Lakshmi vid lol

Haven’t been able to get the directly upload to the blog to work yet lol..

Beyond this, I’ve fallen behind on the garam desi sightings page (lots of notes, little time na?) but will be catching up very soon, hopefully by the weekend. Going to work on the sapna ki gori Mini Cooper PayPal donate page next na? Lol..

Just wanted to say gori is still baffled/amazed by the weird KW ppl are using to get here.. would love some enlightenment on this (again, comments to THIS page deliberately don’t work, use the acchi/buri pages in the sidebar to the left, please… shukriya) Phir check it na? KWs from yesterday alone include:

a) ‘shubh depawali photo’ (lol)

b) ‘goriji’ (aww.. yey, I feel loved)

c) ‘desi b.f.’ aur ‘free desi bf’ (free na? I thought they were for sale at the bazaar or something?)

d) ‘garam ladki photo’ (gori likes to think this was for her lol!)

e) lekin.. uh.. this one is scary (not making this stuff up na?!).. bahut scary: ‘telugu heroin bfs in tolly wood only’… uh tik.. first thought: there is some Tollywood gossip about some chicks boyfriend who is taking heroin? huh? Then, upon re-reading, methinks maybe it’s meant to be, English mein: Telugu heroin*E* BFs in Tollywood (not sure on the ‘only’ lmao).. at any rate- how does someone looking for that find gori na? Is it because I mention Tollywood & they are searching for ANY word, not all? Seems pretty weird, definitely gori herion addiction mentioning nahin lol til now..

Shubh Diwali! Khushi Diwali! uh… u get the idea

Gori’s been busy working since Hallowe’en.. but has amassed a bunch of new Sri LKS-seeking notes, which should be posted soon. Hope to redesign the page so it’s easier to use. Be sure to keep an eye out for the gori Mini Cooper donation graphic, which (without help/input from my IT geek audience, na? seems the acchi comments are still not coming through?) is gonna be a thing & a half if gori gets it ‘up’ properly:P

Oh ek more thing yaaron.. bahut silly na? Gori is new to this blogging cheez, yet on the stats page it shows ‘search terms’ along with referrers, without explaining if yeh ‘search terms’ are Google se (gori is in there btw) , WordPress search se? Kuch nahin lekin… they are getting more & more humorous! Here are the ones I see from the last week, just wanted to share.. metlab, how are ppl even finding me this way? ‘long garam sala’? On the same day I’m hit by some nasty p0rn0 desi site that gori thinks was trying to steal her content? WTF? lolz!

Mehri ‘search terms’ na? a) ‘long garam sala’? WTF? can someone please explain- is this some lund slang or ?? b) garam ladki, ladkiya- fine, I talked about that below, so someone clicked it lekin… c) ‘gori mehri’ (um, u wish na? lol!) d) ek personal fave ‘desis on craiglsit’ (note spelling- again, how does this lead to gori’s blog? with misspelling na?) e)’english filim’ (lol, must’ve been an accident to find gori this way… lmao @ ‘filim’ probably meant seriously)… f) nomination for best one this week: ‘DESI SEXIES’. OMFGdess lol that is someone who actually remembered gori’s slang na? Yey mehri sexies how cute lekin jis… then it degenerates into stuff like g) ‘desi bf’, h) ‘desi and gori’ and then i) ‘desi + sexy+ hits’?? again WTF?? Methinks yeh nasty ulloo buri comments page se was trying to find gori & others to spam or something Anyhow, I think it might just be easier to bookmark gori lmao aur… isn’t there ek way to subscribe na? Just checking! bb with more garam desis sightings etc.. laters!

Well, gori went out on Fri & had a very fruitless search for the Sri LKS sighted two days before, but will resume her search oh, probably tomorrow (Mon Oct 29th, in case he happens to be reading this lmao).. lots of details about these adventures coming up, lekin gori tends to work on weekends & slack during the week opposite of u peeps na? So I’ll be back with more then (Mon & onwards)! Or after Samhain/Hallowe’en, depending on how busy gori gets trying to reconfigure her Lakshmi costume to fit in a Mini Cooper ‘No Castro Halloween’? Mehri ch*nni! Peh Meantime, enjoy the CL hecklers in RnR & kuch bhi other stuff ur day brings

FINDING SRI LKS whoo!

Here’s the deal.. OMFGdess I think I saw/met Sri LKS for REAL yesterday Wed 10/24 on Market St! PLEASE PLEASE read the super-long post & comment with any advice on how to proceed, assuming gori can whip up enough diyan (magickal I mean) energy to run into the dude again very soon. Help! Please check it out NOW! Before I faint & don’t wake up again lol & whatever you do- DO NOT TELL HIM if you know him ok? Just comment to me (privately, if you’re shy) as to his identity It tells you how near the end of the long post on the garam desi sightings page

Meantime, gori’s still working on the premise page, the elaborate ‘are you Sri LKS’ questionaire- I even found a site to make questionaire forms lol! ..also the (I know ur lovin it, but gori needs hits lol) upcoming ‘all SRK filims ever made as reviewed by gori’ page (roflmao! especially since gori saw the majority of yeh filim puraniya completely stoned with the MIM translating REALLY slowly & poorly via his own broken Hindru, or Urndi or kuch bhi lol…) Anyhow, I can’t get the stupid lyrics out of my head now ‘All hot girls put your hands in the air & sing, Om Shanti OM… All cool boyz c’mon make some noise & sing.. Om Shanti Om..’ (cringe).. still, u know gori is renting a Mini Cooper & driving to the Naz 8 to see that sh** as soon as it opens If SRK’s gonna bother to make himself look *that* garam aur beefcake @ age 42, gori is *there* na? Unless of course Sri LKS wants to pull up in his new black Merc & take gori to Fremont himself

BTW it’s come to my attention: no one is actually reading this page lol! Lekin yeh side pages are getting tons of hits! Lmao.. well don’t forget to check back here sometimes too

Meantime, next up is going to be a page on my previous CL posts (especially the poem! wasn’t that one cool? ‘Mehri naam gori hai/but why isn’t it hoon?/I’m so delectable/u could eat me with a spoon.. etc..’ lmao.. since I realized there’s sort of no premise here (like the poorly written, run-on sentence, 1st to 3rd person shifting, passive verb tense Hinglish nitemare that this blog is).. in other words, SOMEDAY (probably this will be at least a millenia from now, the day after I FINALLY START GETTING DECENT COMMENTS NA?- to the left are the *comments* pages links bhaiya! This isn’t intended to be a one-way convo na? lols) ..I digress… SOMEDAY I will maybe actually get hits from outside Craigslist & ppl won’t have ek clue why TF gori is talking all this sh** unless they have context, so.. anyhow.

So keep an eye out cause next up are gonna be ‘funny personals from the past by gori’ pages (& eventually, ‘gori bitching out the ulloo who responded stupidly’ page lmao) plus (once I figure out how to get a form u can submit- feel free to clue me in *by using the accha comments page to the left*, since u all geek boyz n’stuff na? nowhatimsayin’?)… once I figure that out, we’re gonna have the blog version of the ‘gori questionaire’ (now you’ll have to answer all the questions! yay! or it will make that annoying red words ‘you didn’t fill in this field’ thing, ideally, uh, once I figure how to make a form like this in the first place lol..) So it will be a questionaire of course to find out if *you* mehra bhai, are Sri LKS(&C)- Sri Lumba Kala Sundar (aur Crorepati lmao) himself Meantime, I hope some of you actually start reading this FP, I figure if I don’t put any new photos for awhile some of you will eventually get bored & drift over here.. meantime, enjoy ur weekend mehri sexy sanams! (um what is the plural of sanam? lol!)

PS BTW kids.. the link directly below this saying ‘Comments’ shouldn’t be there Ugg.. please ignore it (it doesn’t work anyhow).. & use the acchi/buri comment pages on the upper left (under Pages heading) as I said.. also you can post on the ‘questions for gori’ or ‘garam desi yaar sightings’ pages.. shukriya! Would love to hear ur thoughts!

Here’s my new page, my own little version of Craiglist Missed Connections, since gori sees hella sexy masti desi bhai all the time in SF, & wants to know tum kaun ho na? So check it out- comment with your conjecture on that page of who these yaaron are na? The only things you can’t say in the comments are kutti, chut or f**k, the 1st two for obvious reasons This is a family blog lmao laters! aur shukriya for the page hits jis

So, gori’s super-busy lekin I’m having a once in 20 yrs transit (scary thought na?)- South Node conjunct Jupiter.. I forget if it’s Rahu or Ketu in Vedic.. the nice one that looks like a curvy ‘U’, nahin ‘n’ na? Gori is Western astrologer hai na? Nahin Jyotish lol 7th house mein.. metlab positive/easy ‘karmic’ (in Western bastardized terminology sense lol) relationship connection supposedly happening.. which of course to gori = Sri LKS! Anyhow, I ventured out today hoping to cash in big-time on my treasured transit, but found only more near-miss Sri LKS sightings so.. figured it’s at least ‘good karma’ as yeh goron hippies say, to try to get this blog moving on this auspicious day

Be forgiving that there’s very little content here right now, however you (yeh desi yaaron) are strongly encouraged to participate The best thing about this is that gori will no longer have to answer the same boring questions repeatedly in her quest for Sri Lumba Kala Sundar because I’m making a FAQ page Yey…

Tik, first- you can comment freely (for the moment lol, may be revoked at any time if it gets out of control like mehri Craigslist email does lmao) on the accha aur bura (good & bad- translation for those garam Tamilians reading this who hate Hindi so much lols) comments pages (see below or links at left). Also for now I’m making a page to ask all ur questions to gori, cause that’s turning into a FAQ later on. I have very little of the email that’s been sent by yeh garam desis at this point, but I’ll spam the few lucky ladkay lmao whose recent email CL se mehri freebie email accounts mein hai still lol… & see if we can generate any traffic here Bonus points if you understood that sentence! tee hee

I tried to set it so the comments AREN’T moderated.. U’ve gotta put name/email to comment, at least hopefully if I got the settings right lol. Lekin if it gets really bura diwana I’ll have to change it.. because mehri psycho hack3r (there’s a reason I spell it like that, so it isn’t ek KW!) ex sanam pretends to be like 1000 different desi guys & harasses me, plus gori is f’ing sick & tired of being dissed by yeh salay so.. expect what you would think you would get from ek bahut angry diyan if you are disrespectful na?

If ur post doesn’t appear, or disappears without me commenting directly on it’s disappearance lol.. assume it got hijacked (aka erased by hack3r weirdo breaking into back end of gori’s blog like usual sigh). Ditto if you come back here & can’t find the blog, or if I seem to stop posting for awhile or the posts get weird/bizarre (more than usual lmao).. yeh hack3r LOVES to break in & lock gori out of everything so it won’t be any surprise if this occurs a few times.

Enough boring stuff.. check these out:

Accha comments page is here

Bura comments page is here (mein diyan hoon, if u’ve seen gori’s posts on CL u know the usual buri nizer disclaimer so insult at ur own risk!)

Yeh recent photos of gori- for the doubters who keep saying I am a hoax etc.. hey not all goron are nasty, ignorant couch potatoes with yeh 95 IQ sitting around watching TV lols… as I like to say- ur speaking English (possibly poorly) na? So why can’t gori do the same with Hindi? lolz

Questions for gori page.. I’ve heard it all.. 1000 times each.. so let er rip.. I’ll assemble a FAQ page from this (‘why do you like Indian guys SOOOO much?’ ‘How did you get interested in Hindu theology (sic, lol) anyhows?’ ‘How big r ur baray choochay, ji?’ (38DD sigh, lol).. kuch bhi.. let er rip!

Next links in the queue are: garam desi sightings (a very important thing akin to Craigslist ‘missed connections’, but just for me, lol), mehri ‘donate’ page for mehri dream Mini Cooper gari/gaadi (aur the long, sordid tale of being dicked by do desis, well teen if you count yeh hack3r ex lol, out of yeh dream car previously) & lots of other accha cheez Luv my Hinglish na? tee hee! Also gonna see if I can find some widget so you can vote (‘hot or not’ style lol!) on my photos.. aur hopefully also on photos YOU ladkay submit of urselfs eventually lmao, plus a questionaire to determine if YOU might be Sri Lumba Kala Sundar.. aur bahut more fun stuff coming soon laters bhai sahebs!

Tik so first of all, if you don’t already know about me, I’m the gori (real gori na= mein goron hoon, nahin Hindustani na? .. Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani, to quote SRK lol ) ..who’s always speaking funny but poor Hinglish (the legacy of various desi ex-sanam who promised to teach me Hindi, which of course to Indian guys = ‘I’ll say anything to get you in bed, then make NO effort whatsoever once I’ve done so’ lol.. u get the idea ) Therefore the most I learned was way way back from mehri dost Manoj (I hope he sees this- r u still in Atlanta, mehri dost? lol) who basically never succeeded on that count, but definitely tried to (literally) chase gori around his apt. alot in the process of teaching me to read/write Devanagari script. If I can figure out how to load whatever widget I need to write in Hindi here, I’ll show u my even funnier Hinglish (or really, Angrindi lol) in Devanagari na? Then again, I’m not sure if Manoj ever divorced? So I should probably shut up lmao.. Lucky for me all desi names are so common, I can name even full names & each of you could rightfully claim that’s ‘someone else’ in the same city even, na?) So u’ve got a pre-made alibi there in case biwi ends up reading this somehow lol..

Tik hai, the most important cheez to know about gori is that I’m on a seemingly endless search for yeh Sri Lumba Kala Sundar. I never stop talking about him lol Being ek diyan, I’ve had ek sapna a few months ago where I actually *saw* yeh ladka, I could see his face exactly, see how very lumba he is, & see even his wavy/wiggly hair (that is found sometimes in a ponytail, in case u happen to be him lol). To gori’s surprise, he was wearing yeh sort of hipster/cheezy designer wire-rimmed (gold-colored) small rectangular glasses, aur was bahut thin.. at least compared to curvyji (shukriya Sumesh for that naam lol) gori na?

This revelation (I rarely dream about real people, even ppl I currently know, when I do, it’s usually somewhat prophetic), only encouraged me to continue to try to find this person, when basically all hope had pretty much run out.. the revelation that he is both tall aur *thin* & having at least reading glasses made me all the more convinced this is a real yaar na? Because if I would have just made him up (ideally speaking) in my head, he would be so kala he would be like the color of Kali Ma na? Matte black skin.. yum.. aur he wouldn’t be so thin, or have this slightly geeky look with the glasses & sort of stooping slightly to look down & talk to the shorter folks (I think he’s like 6’2″ or even taller lol).. He would be more like with wide shoulders.. mmm.. thinking of a photo of yeh desi yaar gori got CL se recently.. sexy Fijian-type shoulders ko (ka, ki? ugg.. I can’t figure out the postpositions, much less the dang verbs!).. of course that person right now I’ve lost touch with also, shuk yeh psycho stalk3r for that as well.. Anyhow, just to say that mehri ideal Sri LKS would have been bahut bahut kala aur a bit more stocky, no glasses but a sort of very debonair Bollywood air to him lol! plus would *stand up completely straight* (now u know I’m really Angrezi, hai na?).. tik.. anyhow, I’m convinced he’s yeh real person, yeh crorepati pardesi who lives in London (or Switzerland for all I care lol) & comes to San Francisco (where gori is) on business quite often. Aur possibly 34 aur divorced hai lmao.. or kuch bhi Mehri psychic dost even went as far as to say that he is staying at this specific very yuppie hotel in downtown, near Union Square.. I begged to differ, I thought he stayed in the pretty, Victorian-era old-school famous hotel, she thinks the bahut ulloo, ugly, PoMo, ultra expensive ‘residence suites’ a short distance away…

Either way, I hope it’s written somewhere in the Akashic record that we’ll meet in the lobby of the old hotel (gori is a historical architecture preservationist buff na? Gori hella despises yuppies, & the termites called ‘developers’ that have actively destroyed the majority of what was once a gorgeous, creative & much more diverse city in the all too long 20 yrs she’s had to observe it… no I’m not saying I’m 20yo sillies.. I’ve lived in SF 20 yrs na?).. anyhow, once in recent weeks gori even thought she saw a fleeting glimpse of him in yeh hotel, ducking out a side door she never realized existed til that day..

Which leads me to one of my side pages I’m about to create: yeh garam desi sitings Sort of like CL ‘Missed Connections’ except now u’ll know who wrote it na? I saw do different garam ladkay when I was near Powell Muni & Union Square yesterday.. so I’ll start with them & the others I can remember na? Plus all the kala Mercedes SLK sitings lmao.. because gori is convinced that’s the latest gadi (gardi kuch bhi) he drives.. of course since he’s yeh crorepati, he could have ek gaadi (?- I usually write gari.. actually) like that na? lols..

Which leads gori to the last cheez for aaj… wait is aaj today or is it that weird word metlab ‘yesterday’ aur ‘tomorrow’ at the same time na? I forget lol Anyhow, obviously as this blog (hopefully) gets going, if anything weird happens (from it going down/getting defaced to being spoofed/rude commentary etc.. well I’ll stop there.. we don’t want to give yeh ulloo too many ideas).. the presumption is I’ve been hack3d, & will be back eventually.. sigh Here or elsewhere.. just to tell everyone that possibility surely exists, up front..

Tik, I wish so bad I was in Mumbai.. or anywhere India mein really.. to see all the Ganeshas lekin I’m stuck here… I’m also bummed that my real name, ‘gori’ was stolen by someone blogging in Spanish lol.. oh well.. tik mehri sexy sanam I’ll be back, with any luck!